To not have an explanation for every single toddler bruise?

[cadburyegg]

DS2 is 3 next week. He is hypermobile and walked at 22 months. He also bruises easily. He attends preschool 3 days a week, they are aware of his hypermobility. He often has the odd bruise on his leg, which is pretty common in toddlers anyway and DS1 often had bruises on his legs at that age but the nursery he attended never asked about them.

I understand preschool wanting forms to sign or asking me to clarify how he got a head bump or a bruise in an unusual place, of course. But they also ask me to clarify where he got every single bruise. Usually I know but they have messaged me today asking how DS2 got a bruise on his leg below the knee. I honestly can't remember how he got it and I'm not sure it's realistic for me to keep track of every time he falls over, I wouldn't always necessarily know either because me and his dad are now separated and he has the children every other weekend. Are they being over-cautious or AIBU?

My son has a strawberry birth mark splattered up his leg, so it's not 1 full mark but multiple smaller ones that have stretched with him and faded slightly the older he has got. I remember telling his nursery and primary school as it looked like I'd hurt him. He was still questioned about all the 'marks' up his leg. That plus bruises mixed in did look bad to be honest 😂 ridiculous op isn't it you can't account for every bruise.

Hypermobile children can be abused, too. I was one of them.

I wish the level of care in noting all bruising that is shown now was shown when I was a child - as any queries were brushed off with 'she's clumsy', 'she bruises if you look at her', 'no idea, she's always falling over' and then her getting angry that she was being questioned about the clumsy child all the time.

It meant I wasn't bothered at all when the afterschool club asked me about every single bruise, bump and scratch my youngest had - and she threw herself into everything like a Valkyrie going into battle, so there were lots of them, including many sustained at school during the day, so came out by the late afternoon (so I didn't know how she'd got them).

I did enjoy the one where the school asked how she had huge grazes (that scarred) on her shoulder, arm, knees and a massive bruise on one side of her face, though. 'Yes, I thought you'd ask. Could you tell Miss Teacher about your Very Clever Idea with Daddy's dog, a skateboard and a skipping rope at the weekend, please?'

I have a dd with mild hyper mobility. When she was small, she was the clumsiest thing ever. Partly because she didn't wear her glasses. It took a while to get that sorted. Anyway, one day preschool one day called me in with a body sheer abs a report of 19 bruises on her legs. I mean, this is the kid who walked into or fell over everything.

I did as they asked - GP appt, took sheet in. They humoured me and the nursery. Referred to paediatrician. Who virtually told me (and them) not to be daft. But the reports continued.

In the end, I threw it back to nursery and asked them to explain every new bruise she got while in their care. I think it took about 3 days for them to realise and stop asking about every slight knock. I did as most parents to and when there's a glaringly obvious mark or cut etc, I'd tell them.

If your dc is hyper mobile, I'd just keep reminding them of that while asking them to explain the bruises you found he got while in their care.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9283487/Innocent-parents-having-children-removed-months-based-single-bruises.html

Does he have inhalers or is on medication?

O could never account for ally childrens bruises and grazes. They used to fall over, and just get up again and keep running. If I spotted blood I'll capture them to clean it up.

We once realised our DD had two black eyes. Since they started coming out not long after we had picked her up from nursery, we asked them. They asked wrap round care. No one had any idea.. including DD. Still a mystery.

Hyper mobility or not, toddler bruises on legs are normal. They fall down a lot! Bruises on unusual places are more note worthy

My children always had bruises on their legs and they are like me, takes a while for a bruise to come out. So I never remembered how they'd done it.
Luckily the nursery never asked me about them

My DC2 the answer would be trying to "win" races with his (very fast) 3 years older sister. Leading to falling over because a 2 year old can't run as fast as a 5 year old..

As a nursery safeguarding lead and the parent of a toddler who sports a new leg bruise every day, I think this is complete overkill.

We would ask about unusual bruising, cuts and head injuries. But we wouldn't get anything done if we enquired into every bruised shin or grazed knee. Small children are constantly bumping themselves and falling over and a lot of the time they don't even acknowledge it. I can't always explain to parents how their child has acquired a minor bump or bruise at nursery and I wouldn't expect them to be able to account for every small injury on their child either.

This would put me off a preschool tbh. My DC always have bruises on thier knees, in summer when they are in shorts and outdoors more thier legs are covered! I would feel a bit anxious to be questioned about every single one.

That does seem excessive. Bruises are normal particularly on the lower legs. My Dd is the same. She’s hypermobile and didn’t walk until 2. She always has bruises as she falls a lot. Slightly better now she’s older though. No one has ever questioned it. I think there’s been maybe one injury I had to fill in a form form to say she had done it at home. Recently she fell into a door frame and got a massive bruise on her cheek. Took a month to fade but no one mentioned it! I told her teacher informally but didn’t have to fill anything in.

Nursery rang me about a nasty bruise I said he didn't have a bruise when I dropped him off I swear? They said they would look into it At collection time I was told the bruise washed off lord knows what they were eating that day

I agree with pp that you can't always even remember how you got a bruise on your own body!

They need to keep their eyes and ears open for signs of possible abuse, but it does seem excessive to ask about every single one or expect you to know when, where, and how each small bruise or scrape occurred.

Well he’s at nursery and awake/moving longer than he’s at home and awake and moving presumably so I’d maybe ask them to explain to you.

My toddler is constantly covered in bruises he’s has no fear and runs everywhere and ploughs into everything in his way, most toddlers I know are like this. The nursery presumably should know this as well 🙄.

Ask for a referral with an occupational therapist to check his joints DD was covered in bruises she has hypermobility and dsypraxia just to keep yourself covered.
It's ridiculous they've asked about little leg bruises I was covered in bruises as a DC.

The nursery know toddlers get bruises. It's normal but they have to ask. They can't make allowances, it's procedure. They are not judging you, it's part of safe guarding.
I think that they have to be really hot on it, we are in a climate where we have all been stuck at home & isolated. Domestic violence has increased. So rightly or wrongly everyone is more vigilant
Frustrating but if it helps just one child it's worth it

As a nursery safeguarding lead and the parent of a toddler who sports a new leg bruise every day, I think this is complete overkill.

I don’t work in safeguarding but I have a friend who does who told me that safeguarding leads are trained to look out for particular injuries and patterns of injury, not ask for an explanation for every single bruise. I.e. bruised knee on a toddler -unlikely to be concerning. Grip marks on their upper arms or bruises on their abdomens - very concerning.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup I love that idea with the skateboard I'm sure we did something similar!

Op, it's not necessarily an issue if you don't know the exact cause (assuming you know about some of them, and that you know about any more obvious/unusual ones). It would be more of a worry if you a) didn't know that cause + b) you hadn't noticed it before and or + c) you had no idea how it could have happened. If you can say you're not sure but you noticed it Sunday night at bathtime and they were playing in the garden or had a few tumbles over the weekend, they're less likely to worry.

Dd was always covered in bruises, especially on her shins and I had no idea where they came from. DS never has bruises. Some kids are prone to them.

I think previous posters pointing out the difference between asking for everybruise in normal toddler/child places, and asking for the unusual ones.

Yeah that seems excessive, as if they are checking up on you. Mine are always covered in bruises! One time, a swimming teacher was showing particular interest in my child and I assumed it was because of her particular beauty and swimming prowess (she was 15 months old, she had no prowess), until I got her home and realised she was literally covered in bruises. He was definitely sussing me out as a potential abuser. It might be worth organising a meeting with them to discuss his hypermobility and tendency to bruise before they take it further.

This happened to us as kids... we called them summer legs ... endless bruises as soon as we were out and about more

As an adult who is hyper mobile I learnt it suggested I lacked something called rutin

My daughters been the same

So perhaps best to just tell them to expect this with him - he bruises easily and you won't remember them all.

Jeeze, my eldest was always covered in bruises. She was the most active kid who physically challenged herself constantly from the moment she could stand.

My BIL was a social worker, and he told me he'd noticed her bruises! But he laughed and said that they didn't signify anything because they were below the knee and clearly bumps and bashes. Just as well because no way would I have been able to explain them all. It's not like they come up instantly.

When DS goes to hospice respite they ask about any bruises, marks etc. They get told X "plus normal 5 yo bruises" because frankly who can account for all the bruises they accrue once they can move!!