Decline wedding invitation

[BrilliantBetty]

I would really love to attend my friends wedding, it's the first week of July and having heard the latest update from the government it seems as though weddings will be going ahead.

But the announcement did seem to be worded in a way that left it open a bit.

The accommodation is non refundable and pricy. It's a 3 hour journey, with a lovely sounding party in a pub the evening before.

They are inviting 140 guests. There's a part of me that just doesn't want to commit to this. It would be a lot of money for me to lose if it doesn't go ahead. And a couple of days annual leave. Am I being too sceptical? It's hard to imagine being indoors with approx 140 people after the year we've had.

Would you accept the invite?

I would accept the invite but I wouldn’t be booking any none refundable accommodation yet. Is there no alternative accommodation?

We've accepted a wedding invitation for July, but won't be staying in the very overpriced accomodation, so don't lose anything if it is cancelled

Agree with @chocolatefordinner

I'd be inclined to look for alternative accommodation

I’d accept but stay in a Travelodge nearby.

We have concert tickets and accommodation booked for July... Can't get my head around going or not going tbh?!

It won't be confirmed until much nearer the time so depends if you're prepared to lose accommodation money or not. If not then don't book it yet.

As PP have said - they can’t dictate where you stay so book somewhere cheaper nearby and refundable

I really can't see 140 people parties being allowed before most people are vaccinated.

Everything I’ve looked at recently has been refundable until right before the booking. You’ll definitely find something more reasonable and flexible.

The thought of being in a room with 140 people in a few months time brings me out in hives tbh but if you think you’d enjoy it and want to see your friend get hitched then say you’ll go but find different accommodation.

I've accepted an invitation to a large indoor wedding in July. The accommodation I've booked alongside it is fully refundable, as I know it's sailing very close to the wind! I'm very excited to go though!

I wouldn't travel three hours for a party, without factoring in a non-refundable hotel stay and multiple days of annual leave!

I would be very wary of committing myself to this right now if I couldn't afford to lose the money.

I wouldn't be booking pricey, non refundable accommodation for a July event that might not happen, no.

I would be inclined to ask the friend to try and sort out a deal with the accommodation to make it refundable just in case. I feel like most places offering this type of thing in July need to factor in that people will be unsure and will want the option of a refund if it doesn't go ahead.

Has she spoken to them about their "non refundable" terms? What are other people doing?

If after that they are still saying it's non refundable, find other accommodation nearby that is refundable. If you want to go then don't cancel if you can help it - I'm sure your friend will be on tenterhooks about it and it will be really stressful for her if people start to cancel.

I would accept the invite but warn them you might not go in the end, if the situation progresses in a different way than what the govt have predicted, and/or you’re not comfortable for any reason. Are you on good enough terms with the couple to explain this?

I also would never, ever book non-refundable accommodation, pandemic or not. There must be something else nearby (unless you’re not driving and need the on-site hotel).

@MarmedukeDuke

I really can't see 140 people parties being allowed before most people are vaccinated.

Most people will be vaccinated by then. That's the whole point - it probably will be allowed.

It might be allowed, but I certainly wouldn't bank on it at this point. I wouldn't book anything non-refundable this year at all so either find a cheaper/refundable place to stay, decline or postpone if that's possible.

I know 3 hours is a long drive.. but it’s not impossible to do in a day and not stay over.

I suppose it depends how close you are to the friend whether you’d be willing to do that.

I'm amazed the accommodation/venue hasn't caught up with using refundable bookings for at least 50% if not all of the cost right up until the date of the booking! Everything I've looked at this past week has done this.

@MarmedukeDuke the government have stated that all adults will have been offered the vaccine by end of July. So yes, most people will be vaccinated.

I would possibly go, but find cheaper accommodation, but it all depends on there being no slippage on dates, and with schools going back Big Bang I am not convinced dates will remain as proposed

I'd book my own refundable accommodation that way you won't lose out.

The government have said a lot of things in the past year. I'll be very happy to get the vaccine by July but I wouldn't put money on it yet.

I wouldn't bother with the party the evening before. What time is the ceremony on the wedding day? Would you have time to drive up that morning and that way you're only staying one night? And as suggested, book refundable accommodation in a nearby B&B or cheaper hotel.

On the other hand if you don't feel comfortable going at all then there's no problem in declining.

The accommodation is non refundable and pricy.

Sounds like guests are paying for the wedding venue