Decline wedding invitation

[BrilliantBetty]

I would really love to attend my friends wedding, it's the first week of July and having heard the latest update from the government it seems as though weddings will be going ahead.

But the announcement did seem to be worded in a way that left it open a bit.

The accommodation is non refundable and pricy. It's a 3 hour journey, with a lovely sounding party in a pub the evening before.

They are inviting 140 guests. There's a part of me that just doesn't want to commit to this. It would be a lot of money for me to lose if it doesn't go ahead. And a couple of days annual leave. Am I being too sceptical? It's hard to imagine being indoors with approx 140 people after the year we've had.

Would you accept the invite?

[quote Blockedoff]@MarmedukeDuke the government have stated that all adults will have been offered the vaccine by end of July. So yes, most people will be vaccinated. [/quote]
The first vaccine or both doses?

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl a mixture of both, the ones done early will have had their second the ones done later will not have?

Were you not aware of how the system works?

I’d be wary of committing myself to pricy non-refundable accommodation for July.

Hopefully things will be improved enough by July for the wedding to go ahead, but there’s been so much movement back and forth on lockdowns this past year, that I’d be worrying about those relaxation of lockdown dates being pushed backwards.

And yes, I know the government has an aim of offering all adults a vaccine by the end of July.
That’s going to be dependent on things like a continued steady supply of vaccines, and that’s presumably a date for getting the first dose, given that they’re currently leaving a 12 week gap between the first and second doses.

Vaccine takes a while to kick in too.

I'd look for alternative refundable accommodation

This sounds really odd on behalf of the hotel. They have probably bumped the prices up for the wedding and lockdown loss. But surely they have spoken to the bride about if the wedding numbers are limited or has to be cancelled. Seems very off to be non-refundable even though the restrictions are slowly easing nothing is guaranteed

It's not one of those massively inconvenient wedding venues in the middle of nowhere, is it?

I wouldn't personally. A friend has set her date as late June and we've declined the invitation. Not only do I not want the risk of getting covid (which will still be there in June) but I don't want to waste money if it gets cancelled. It's the same as people booking holidays for June 21st who'll likely be very angry that covid didn't listen and disappear by then.

I think I'd go, on the basis that everyone will be in a fabulous party mood, and you are likely to be able to use the accommodation for a weekend break even if the wedding gathering is restricted to certain numbers.

Accept but don’t book anything - doubt 140 people will be going though! Then wait and see what happens closer the time - I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it

I’ve accepted my friends wedding that’s in June - but none of the guests have booked any accommodation yet (she’s a bit out out about this) but what can you do

Is it somewhere you would enjoy as a short break even if the wedding doesn't happen?

@endlesswicker

It's not one of those massively inconvenient wedding venues in the middle of nowhere, is it?

Yes. It's exactly that. It's some sort of exclusive use situation where all the rooms have been booked and we are to transfer the room rental cost to the B&G as they've paid for the whole place already. I am not completely clear on the set up with this, but it's non refundable if I accept a room.
I would much rather stay at a travel lodge / b&b but there isn't much on

*isn't much on offer in close proximity.

Thanks everyone. I have a few days to consider but am leaning towards declining as, although it sounds like the most wonderful day and I'm thrilled for my friend, I feel uneasy about a number of things and I'll be worrying about it from now until the day! Which is just silly.

Book somewhere else instead, even if it’s a b&b one hour from there - much better than non refundable.
You don’t have to tell the bride that you’re staying over at all, can say that you’re driving back.

Are people still doing these pay-for-our-grand-venue weddings? I'd have thought that at least Covid would have cobbled that!

Can you contact the venue and check about the actual refundability status?

No, I’d be really reluctant to give up annual leave and the expense for a wedding so it would have to be a very close relative.
I also wouldn’t want to go to a large indoor gathering until fully vaccinated and everyone else was so on that basis alone I would send apologies.

So basically you’re paying for their reception?!

No, I wouldn’t be going. I also can’t see weddings of 100 people happening in a few months so my views on crap wedding pricing is irrelevant!

I wouldn't go unless vaccinated and even if people have received a first dose by the end of July they are extremely unlikely to have received both. So it would be a no from me.

Never mind covid, I'd decline invite due to the cheekiness of the B&G dictating where you stay for the wedding, of course they are anxious to fill the premises because they have to pay the cost if you don't. Hate that type of pretentious behaviour 'having a fancy expensive wedding venue but the guests are paying for it, now don't forget to leave a decent gift also, preferably from our list of honeymoon experiences '

Nah I'd not be going. I hate it when people do this, it's their wedding and it's huge to them, it's not to their guests who don't want to fork out a ton in travel and accommodation and use AL for it. And that's all without the covid issue