Ladies vs. Women

[CruCru]

I was talking with someone the other day about calling women women rather than ladies. He said that he thinks “women” is a bit rude and that it’s more polite to say “ladies”. I think there is nothing wrong with being described as a woman.

I associate men who say “ladies” with seedy older men trying to get off with teenagers in awful nightclubs. However this might only be me.

What do you think?

I hate ladies, it's so naff. It reminds me of sexist 1970's conedians. It's one of the words I find an instant turn off if a man says it,, along with yummy & funbags ( for boobs).

Either is preferable to 'girls' (unless you're under 18).

I absolutely loathe 'ladies' with a passion. Calling a group 'women' sounds very awkward though.

I'm perfectly happy with 'ladies'. But then, I use it in the same way I still use the word 'gentleman'. I realise that many think that old fashioned but it just seems polite to me.

Yeah I find 'ladies' a bit patronising but cant quite explain why. I feel like its a bit synonymous with 'young lady' often used in that sarcastic manner...or school teachers in girls-only schools when they're pissed off/trying to get the kids attention 'Ladies!'

I am a woman. That's fine to describe me as that. 'Lady' will have different connotations to different people so perhaps best to stay clear of IMO.

There's nothing wrong with being called women or ladies either. Culturally, some say ladies for most women and use women mainly for much older women. It isn't seen as wrong to say either.

I think it's a bit of wokery and nitpicking to have an issue with 'ladies'. There are issues women face - this isn't it.

Women > Ladies > Females

I'll use "ladies" to address a group (morning ladies), but would never use it in a sentence - for example, "that's just for the ladies".

To me ladies are the aristocratic daughters and wives of Dukes, Earls etc and has connotations of "proper" behaviour 🙄

What do you use instead of "ladies" curious because that's what I learned and can't think of an alternative

If somebody walks into the office (eg) and says “morning ladies” I think that’s fine. “Morning women” would sound very odd to me.

I can’t stand “morning girls”.

I don't mind either. Anything but "girls."

"Good morning women and gentlemen/men"...perhaps.

No, I would hate “morning girls”.

BTW I was brought up with the word 'women' being seen as very blunt and almost impolite, and 'ladies' being the nicer, more polite term. It's only in the last few year that I've learned that some, but by no means everyone, don't see it this way. When some consider 'ladies' offensive but others consider 'women' offensive it's hard to know what to do for the best. So I'm just carrying on as I am for now .

@Shimy

"Good morning women and gentlemen/men"...perhaps.

I'd say "Good morning everyone" if it's a mixed group.

Well I did wonder if it was just me that found men referring to “ladies” a bit off. I will say that “females” is worse - that would make me think the speaker is a bit afraid of women (or doesn’t much like them).

I hate ladies in the main, but then, it also makes me think of Florence King's "Confessions of a failed Southern lady", where she had some bizarre descriptions of what a lady should be, resulting in the immortal line "No matter which sex I went to bed with, I never smoked in the street.". "Ladies" has behavioural connotations to me. Why can't we just say "Good morning!"? Why do we need a way to specifically address a whole group of people?

I honestly don't care that much.

You can always tell when it's a man posting on here though, coz he always calls us 'ladies.' No female I know in real life says 'ladies...' when referring to other women.

When referring to their friends or female colleagues, many women I know just say 'the girls...' (I know some mumsnet users HATE that, but in reality, many women do say it!')

One thing that fucks me right off is when someone is 70 years old or more, and someone says 'Jack is 85 years YOUNG!' So fucking patronising.... and soooooooo annoying.

Yeah that's you're preconception talking, OP. Men are the worst, I know. Says more about you than the man who uses it tbh.

I'd think it depends on the context. If someone uses the word 'females' with an undertone of disgust, that's different from (clumsily) referring to women as females. We are females, aren't we? Or are we no longer women = adult human females?

Anyone else reached the fair age of over 55 and got incredibly irate at younger male waiters or sales people calling me “ young lady” as if I am going to be flattered into giving them my custom or a tip
Makes me 😤🤮

I remember being in a shop with toddler DD who wanted to give some money to the cashier but who was fumbling around a bit. Saying to her ‘that’s it, give the coins to the lady!’ sounded more polite and friendly than ‘give the coins to the woman!’ or ‘give the coins to the shop assistant/cashier!’ But then if it had been a man, that wound have sounded weird too!

Women is simple and straightforward.

Ladies to me has certain connotations of ladylike behavior (as in acting like proper posh Lady) and while it wouldn't both me cropping up occasionally, a man who used it a lot would be a warning flag that he's thinking in terms of stereotypical femininity that I wouldn't be happy about. Perhaps in the olden days while being ladylike in the classical sense was more of an aspirational thing it would have been considered respectful, but now it sounds dated and weird, especially coming from people who would never use gentlemen in the same way.

(Females, while not the subject of the question, is a big no. I might give it a pass for describing a noun like 'female changing rooms' but when we have the word women for human females using 'female' to decribe a person feels very dehumanising and putting sex ahead of personhood).

Unbothered. I do prefer women to ladies, but if the intent is clearly to be positive and polite I really can't work up offence. Not a fan of 'females' at all and I haven't been a girl for many years so either of those just piss me off.

Agree @nosyupnorth

@Imaginetoday

Anyone else reached the fair age of over 55 and got incredibly irate at younger male waiters or sales people calling me “ young lady” as if I am going to be flattered into giving them my custom or a tip Makes me 😤🤮

Yep, this boils my piss too. I am 53, and pretty much look my age. I get this with market traders, waiters, sales people etc, (often all under 40,) and it fucks me right off.

Along with the '85 years YOUNG' that I mentioned earlier, I find it so annoying and condescending. I am a woman in my mid 50s and LOOK like a woman in my mid 50s. I am NOT a YOUNG LADY! Stop being a condescending twat.