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Original poster

Ladies vs. Women

66 replies

CruCru · 23/02/2021 14:17

I was talking with someone the other day about calling women women rather than ladies. He said that he thinks “women” is a bit rude and that it’s more polite to say “ladies”. I think there is nothing wrong with being described as a woman.

I associate men who say “ladies” with seedy older men trying to get off with teenagers in awful nightclubs. However this might only be me.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Imaginetoday · 23/02/2021 15:00

I think ladies is associated with a label of being nice, kind etc. Puts women in a place of be nice, know your place
But same is true of gentleman
So, I’m ok with “ ladies and gentlemen” as an address of either/ or but don’t like it as just ladies as a label

As for girls- don’t mind in non professional, social, situations where women are in “ playful” mode...especially between themselves eg girls night out . Hate, hate when men or women refer to women going about their day to day life or god forbid their profession as girls- it is demeaning and belittles them and their power. My DH still refers to women on the news as girl if under about 30.. despite 30 years of me exploding in indignation and him immediately apologising for his inappropriate term- it’s a very bad habit 🙄

Imaginetoday · 23/02/2021 15:04

@SchrodingersImmigrant

What do you use instead of "ladies" curious because that's what I learned and can't think of an alternativeBlush
My default is folks..not everyone’s cup of tea I know .... but I am seeing it as fully gender inclusive 😉
BiscuitSewingTin · 23/02/2021 15:17

I don’t mind “ladies” being used where “gentlemen” would also be used. I hate when it is used is day to day situations. It feels very othering and implies fussiness, as though women need special treatment, though this type of treatment is invariably patronising and unwanted.

FudgeSundae · 23/02/2021 15:18

I HATE ladies esp in a work context. Why is it relevant that you happen to be addressing a group of females? Just say hello everyone.

Mind you, my dad’s girlfriend (probably about 60) keeps sending me (30) and my sister (28) messages addressed “hello girls” which puts my teeth on edge although I would never say anything.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 23/02/2021 15:21

I associate men who say “ladies” with seedy older men trying to get off with teenagers in awful nightclubs. However this might only be me
Well I did immediately picture Boycie saying it so maybe. I also associate it with the kind of scenario where there’s loads of lagers for the men and a little four pack of babycham for ‘the ladieeees’ King Gary style.

BurtonHouse · 23/02/2021 15:21

I agree, ladies sounds patronising or vaguely creepy. However, the way some people are trying to redefine 'woman', ladies might be a viable alternative after all. I'll get my coat........

CherryRoulade · 23/02/2021 15:22

Ladies is very LMC, isn't it? Salt of the earth types being ever so chivalrous and somewhat patronising. I can forgive it, but never if it was 'young ladies' or from anyone under around sixty.

Ladies goes with 'ever so nice' bone china teacups and saucers, net curtains and lavatory roll covers.

DickKerrLadies · 23/02/2021 15:26

I feel the need to park myself on this thread Grin

MyLittleOrangutan · 23/02/2021 15:28

I really dont care. But I also dont care about being love or any of the other names that get peoples heckles up. I'm often mistaken for a boy and called pal/mate which makes me smile. So long as you're not calling me something intended to be offensive, I wont be offended.

BiscuitSewingTin · 23/02/2021 15:36

I don’t mind “girls” so much when it’s used by women as that’s more of an in-group thing. Wouldn’t use it myself though. I hate when men use “girls”. Whenever I hear something like “girl from the office” I always ask if the “girl” is 12.

ElizaLaLa · 23/02/2021 16:09

@CruCru

I was talking with someone the other day about calling women women rather than ladies. He said that he thinks “women” is a bit rude and that it’s more polite to say “ladies”. I think there is nothing wrong with being described as a woman.

I associate men who say “ladies” with seedy older men trying to get off with teenagers in awful nightclubs. However this might only be me.

What do you think?

I couldn't care less, so long as they aren't calling me Mx, cis, they or their etc etc etc.
SJWsatitagain · 23/02/2021 16:45

Of course someone's going to bring class into it. LMC indeed - The irony, accusing others of being patronising 🙄

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 23/02/2021 16:54

Hyacinths can never think of anything but the class implications.

MrsAvocet · 23/02/2021 17:00

The term "lady doctor" particularly annoys me. There's one receptionist at our GPs who uses this. I don't normally care who I see but for gynae or breast things I do feel more comfortable seeing a woman. But whenever I've said "I'd prefer to see a woman if possible" this particular receptionist always replies with something like "I will just check when the next appointment with a lady doctor is". She probably doesn't mean anything disrespectful by it - in fact maybe she thinks that it is me that's being rude - but you never hear of "gentleman doctors "do you, they're just doctors!

LApprentiSorcier · 23/02/2021 17:01

As long as 'gentlemen' is used as its counterpart, I have no problem with it at all.

As pp said, much better than 'girls'.

RandomLondoner · 23/02/2021 17:05

The kind of man who says "ladies" is tall, over 40, smokes, and drives an old Jaguar saloon. He probably gets to use the word when he goes to strip-clubs. (He's not going to see lap-dancers, because he lives in the 1970's.)

(I'm not sure if I'm thinking of Boycie from Only Fools and Horses, or someone I worked with in real life who resembled him.)

MissConductUS · 23/02/2021 17:10

To me, it's just the feminine equivalent of gentleman and doesn't bother me a bit.

5foot5 · 23/02/2021 17:23

No female I know in real life says 'ladies...' when referring to other women.

Oh I don't think this at all odd. I have been in groups of women where someone might say, for example, "Are we all ready ladies?" Where I used to work a few years ago there was a group of us who went out for lunch once a month and we jokingly called ourselves the ladies who lunch.

I really don't mind or take offence at being called a lady.
Maybe it is an age thing - I am 58.

I would take umbrage at being called a girl, but not surprisingly that doesn't happen anymore. Well except from my very elderly FIL who has a tendency to refer to younger women as girls. But seeing as he is 90 that is just about everybody. He mentioned recently that he thought my elder sister was a very nice girl. She is nearly 69!

pigsDOfly · 23/02/2021 17:36

I don't like ladies.

I was always pulling my exh up on his use of 'young lady' to any woman with whom he had to to have dealings; used to drive me mad.

And girl is even worse.

When my DS was about 14/15 (this was back in the 90s) he and a small group of friends were attacked by a group of boys when they were out one evening.

Anyway, the attackers were caught and it ended up in court.

On the day of the court case when we were all gathering at the beginning of the day, the father of one of the friends of my DS walked up to the prosecutor, a youngish woman, and said to her 'are you the girl (he pronounced it gel) who's prosecuting?'.

It's difficult to describe the expression on her face, a sort of cross between shock, disbelief, anger and disgust; suffice it to say she was not happy.

He was a solicitor and quite a bit older than her and I suspect it was his way of trying to let her know he knew the drill and was, being male and older, superior to her.

Whatever, his reason for addressing her in that way, it was highly offensive, came across as incredibly patronising and made him look like a complete arse; which, given that he was a friend of my exh, I rather suspect he was.

zukiecat · 23/02/2021 17:37

I don't mind either, never crossed my mind to be honest.

Here in NE Scotland there's a third word, women are known as Wifies!

iolaus · 23/02/2021 17:40

From reading the previous replies I think I prefer women to ladies
but prefer lady to woman

Notjustanymum · 24/02/2021 14:02

A lady is a woman who has been brought up to be polite and nice to people. A woman is an adult female human.
The first description is more about the impression the describer has gleaned or wants to suppose, about an adult female’s demeanour, the second is a statement of fact.
Personally I don’t mind either - just don’t refer to me as a girl, a guy or just “mate”!

BabblativeBean · 24/02/2021 14:09

I don't know any men who say "ladies".

The only people I know are a group of women I do an activity with and they always address the group as "ladies" and seem very happy with that. It's not a term I use, but it doesn't bother me that when I am with them I am part of the collective "ladies".

CaptainMerica · 24/02/2021 14:12

YANBU. I received an email starting "Hi Ladies" yesterday and it really jarred. I've also seen the sender address a group as "Gents", so I'm not sure why it bothered me. Maybe because one of the women the email was to is really senior (much more so than him) and it just seemed a bit disrespectful?

mytrueaccount · 24/02/2021 15:12

Remember when Gordon Brown got caught on camera calling a woman who asked about immigration a "bigoted woman"?
The fuss in the papers was about his calling her bigoted. But apparently what upset her was being called "woman" instead of "lady"!
I wondered if it was a class or a generational thing.