To think that people don't know how to apologise?

[Ilovelove]

So I got thinking about this because of:

1. Was sat on a bench in a park and a tennis ball flew out of nowhere and smacked my 7 yo son in the face. Look across at tennis courts and two 20 year guys start to laugh. One comes over and makes a shitty remark about not knowing his serve was so strong.

No apology. No can I buy him an ice cream. I am sort of shocked because I have a child in hysterics and happily there was no blood and it was okay, but it could have been so much worse.

1. Sat on another bench today. When this friendly looking dog comes over sniffing about. Then cocks its leg on and starts to wee. It is only my lightening quick response that means I leap out the way and don't get dog piss on my leg.

The owner doesn't say sorry - even just for disturbing me.

AIBU to I think that people are just so crap at taking responsibility and saying sorry.

Maybe its fear, maybe its immaturity, maybe its ego.

What are your stories of people not saying sorry (when really it would have meant a lot)?

I agree with PPs here that children often aren't encouraged to apologise because they're only children.
Sure a 5 year old often can't help being a bit wobbly and may bump into someone (possibly an even more wobbly 2 year old), but it shouldn't hurt them to be told to say a quick "sorry", or at least for the parent to do it on their behalf.
Just because something is an accident doesn't mean never apologising for it.

There's a thread going at the moment where an apology might well have quickly defused a situation but the boy was only 12.
It's probably a bit too late to expect them to pick up the habit when they stop being, say, only 17 and become 18 year old adults.

It's usually not worth the risk of apologising to a stranger because a) you're admitting liability, your apology could be used as evidence against you in any legal action,

If you hurt someone or damage property so much that there needs to be legal action (for them to cover costs of materials or missing work or something) you would be an absolute arsehole of the highest order not to apologise when you are clearly at fault.

If you are not clearly at fault, a quick "are you ok, do you need help" isn't admitting liability. If you are that clumsy or arseholey that this happens to you frequently, you might want to take out 3rd party insurance to put your mind at rest.

and b) when I've been wrong and apologised I usually get more aggression and abuse back.

That's on them.

OP, for the tennis players I'd have kept the ball and told them to apologise to my DS. But i literally don't care if i offend idiots like that. (I am aware that some occasions make that impossible, i'm not dim).

I remember we were at a very high class hotel, and the waitress was pouring our rather expensive bottle of champagne - mostly over the table. My FIL said, 'could you be a bit more careful please, the champers is going all over the table'.

The waitress looked at him very haughtily, and said 'not all of it sir'. . .

One of the few times I've ever seen my prat of a FIL lost for words!

@shimy
The whole bus heard him she just looked really embarrassed and mumbled thanks

@Mollypolly2610 And they said 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks! bet she learnt something new.

This is actually funny- we live in Britain where the answer to someone treading on your foot is “oh I’m sorry my foot was in your way”. At this point they usually say sorry too. Us brits are well known for apologising, much to the amusement of other countries

I think in my work place it's linked with a blame culture where apologising = admitting a mistake = blame.
So people adopt the mantra 'never apologise, never explain'. Luckily my immediate colleagues aren't like that but it's an attitude among some managers.

Sorry op for being insensitive- of course in your situation they were wrong and should have apoogised