To ask if anyone else prefer eating their evening meal on a tray?

[FredSoftly]

I have friends who insist that every meal is eaten en famille at the table so everyone can "talk about their day." Then they complain that it's often tense or their teens are moody and uncommunicative.

When I suggest tea on a tray, they gasp in horror!

We often do this in front of the TV and it can make for a nice relaxed evening. We also manage to chat a lot without facing each other across the kitchen table on a nightly basis.

Am I common?

We eat every meal on the sofa if the plate's hot I balance it on a cushion It became a habit in our old house and I'd feel like a bit of a tit sitting in the dining room on my own when DH is out working.
We recently moved to a house with a separate dining room, upgraded to all new furniture and decorated the room.....never use it. Think we've sat at the table once in 6 months, I literally go in to dust it

don't you need to sit down as a family at some times, to bond, to talk, hear about each other's day?

I rarely cook without at least one kid hanging out, chatting, helping cook. We chat on each others beds at night, or when we're walking, when we play board games, or just all the time. We don't need the dinner table to chat

how do you teach your dc normal dinner conversations, manners and eating habits if they never see adult interactions at a dinner table?

Maybe my children are geniuses but this has never been a problem 🤷‍♀️ maybe other kids need daily table exposure to keep these skills fresh, but mine seem to be ojay with a few times a month. They can make good chat, great table manners, are mostly good eaters, confident in restaurants can differentiate between different expectations in different places and adapt.

when you are hosting do you just hand out a plate and your guests can fend for themselves where ever they can find seating

No why would we do that?

We switched from table to sofa a couple of years ago. I bloody love it. We always have a TV series on the go: crashing with my tweens at the end of the day in front of Brooklyn 99, Stranger Things and The Middle is so enjoyable.

My mum is an amazing cook and we had some great times eating together when I grew up. However, the dinner table was also often where the worst of the rows happened, which was a real shame as my mum worked so hard to feed us well.

DH just associates the dinner table with stress - his dad was super strict about table manners and meals were to be eaten fast with only limited talking. Its taken DH a long time to chill out at the table - even now I can see him losing his mind if one child is chatting so much that little food is getting eaten.

We both had loving families and Happy childhoods, but neither of us particularly associate eating at the table with an ideal of family life.

However, I genuinely love our sofa tv dinners. There's just a lot of warmth there.

I don’t even own a tray, and I’m a bit clumsy so I’d probably get dinner all over myself if I did eat from one. I just eat at the table - it’s in the kitchen, we sit around it a lot anyway, and so it’s the obvious place to eat in our house.

I'm amused by the faux amazement of the table lovers with their "how do your children learn table manners and the art of conversation" and "where do you talk about your day"

Gosh, let me think ...

When we had young kids we ate at the table every night.
Now just us and one adult son. Probably half our meals are one bowl food - pasta, stir fry, risotto and the rest we sit up because I’m not cutting up a roast dinner or similar on my knees even if it’s on a tray. We don’t watch tv when it’s dinner on knees, just sit around talking like we would if we were at the table. Used to watch the news and eat but haven’t since COVID because it’s too depressing every night.

It depends on the meal. Some stuff is hazardous to eat near carpet (I’ve been known to be a messy eater ). Roast dinners are always as the table. But I do love to unwind in front of the tv with dinner regularly. I find it relaxing.

@Hahaha88

I think it's much nicer to eat at the table. It's better for your digestive system too rather than being slouched up on a sofa.

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe right cos only white people eat at a table /not in front of the TV

This. I used to eat in front of TV but it’s a bugger for my acid reflux!

no we just sit in awkwardly at the table, i put the radio on

we sometimes eat with a tray but dh keeps his guitar on one of the chairs and the sofa is a tight squeeze for two

But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.

This is racist. This is the soft bigotry of low expectations. You probably think punctuality and maths are racist too right??

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe

It's easier using a tray than just having a plate on your lap. Preferably one of those trays with a bean bag underneath.

We only use the table when the meal requires or deserves it. Some things are too messy to risk a tray with, other things are too classy. But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.

Wow that post took a turn in the last sentence

@FredSoftly

I'm amused by the faux amazement of the table lovers with their "how do your children learn table manners and the art of conversation" and "where do you talk about your day"

Gosh, let me think ...

I'm surprised by the lack of coffee table eaters!

No not for me thanks.

I don’t want to balance a tray
I don’t want food/drinks dropped on to the sofa
It doesn’t feel comfortable with digestion hunched over
There would be no conversation as people would be watching the tv

I’m glad it works for you.

P.S. working class family

@TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe - get back here now and tell them you were joking as you dominating my thread wot I started is pissing me off!!!

We sit at the table every meal time, breakfast, lunch and dinner. We have lots of unwoke right wing conversation and it’s such fun darling.

Sorry, op!

But
“But eating every meal at a table smacks of unwoke, right-wing white privilege.”

WTAF?! 🤣🙄

We eat round the table but have a tv on the wall next to it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s a special treat for my kids to eat in the living room but I only let them eat pizza and the likes there, so there’s less mess.

We were a very working class family ( parents worked in mills) and we always ate at the table . News was on in the background but we got told off for watching it! I always eat at a table even if I am alone . I have big boobs and if I eat off a tray I always end up with food in my cleavage! Happy memories of holidaying with relatives in Sicily and the whole family of about 14 people sat round the table outside.

I fully appreciate that not everybody can afford to have a table or have the space for it and also that not everyone wants to eat at a table. However we do - we used to have a separate dining room and kitchen but only ever ate in the kitchen so when we extended we got rid of the dining room and now have a lovely big kitchen table which can seat 10 easily (12 cramped). I know it’s a privilege and know we’re fortunate but I love it. We all eat together in the evening- kids eat breakfast in their rooms (teenagers ) and lunch is variable - at the moment they often eat in their rooms chatting to friends while on school lunch break. Supper is always at the table - we never plate food in advance always have it in serving bowls for people to help themselves. No TV in the kitchen so obv don’t watch TV and no phones. It’s what we’ve always done and tbf if what everyone I know does. We play board games after supper 3 or 4 nights a week too (nothing long or fancy) - it’s fun and we all enjoy it. It’s our family time and works for us. Surely that’s what it’s all about- what works for you?

I came from a poor working class family. We always sat at the table, every meal, except for a saturday night when we watched a movie at 6PM after a bath and ate pizza. We are a family who spoke a lot to each other, and my parents always took an active interest in what I had to say during dinner.

My DHs family are very middle class, always ate on their trays in front of the tv. Now, they have zero idea how to communicate with each other. They dont know what happens in each others lives. They dont even ask. They didnr fall out, they just literally dont know how to speak to each other. My SIL had major very obvious issues in her teen, and my MIL had no idea as they never had a conversation during the day. Even now, my inlaws dont know how to speak to my DDs, and turn the tv on 10 mins after getting in the door. I make them sit at the table for dinner. They say they find it 'cute' and they go very silent.

When we got married we spent a massive chunk of it on an oak 8 seater dining table. We sit with DD every breakfast and dinner. It's the most expensive and important thing in our house.

Just another thought - back in the day when we were allowed other people in the house I’ve always sat around the kitchen table drinking tea / wine with friends- both in my house and my friends. I have many really good friends whose houses I’ve spent many many hours in but have never sat in their sitting rooms (or even on kitchen sofas).

No. Eating at the table as a family is something we do every night, unless we have a pizza takeaway which is once every few weeks.

I hate the tv being on and eating on my lap for anything more than a sandwich

Table all the way for me. I’ve lived in houses without a dining table and really not liked it.
I don’t think it’s anything to do with class or being ‘posh’.

Always at the table.

Il not a deal, am I?Have you ever tried balancing a glass of red wine on sofa?

Have you ever tried balancing a glass of red wine on sofa

Er, no, because I put it on a coffee table which is handily placed next to the sofa.

Table doesn’t always mean great conversation.

Visited an ex’s family once and we sat at a dining table but it was all heads in the trough and no one coming up for air let alone conversation. Might as well been in front of the TV