Page 12 | To ask if anyone else prefer eating their evening meal on a tray?

FredSoftly · 2021-02-23T09:46:54+00:00

I have friends who ^insist^ that every meal is eaten en famille at the table so everyone can "talk about their day." Then they complain that it's often tense or their teens are moody and uncommunicative. When I suggest tea on a tray, they gasp in horror! We often do this in front of the TV and it can make for a nice relaxed evening. We also manage to chat a lot without facing each other across the kitchen table on a nightly basis. Am I common?

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 24/02/2021 08:24

Well, no. Coffee table is in front of the sofa, so I’ll have to lean to get to it.

Why go to all that trouble when I have a perfectly good solution, such as stirring at the table? I need to make space there, because it’s usually covered in staff.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 24/02/2021 08:27

Most people will have heard that the 'sandwich' was invented by the Earl of Sandwich in the 18th century, however a little known fact (which you won't find on Wikipedia... just yet) is that around the same time the Marquis de Trày of France invented the 'tray' as a shallow platform to eat from whilst at the theatre. He also coined the term 'très bon' if he had eaten a particular tasty snack from his tray. So this trayditional means of eating preceded the television by a good number of years.

BlackRibboner · 24/02/2021 08:35

@1940s , I think snarky responses are a bit off, but as someone with a fussy child (and who was very fussy myself), it is a bit galling to hear that your child is a great eater because of your parenting choices. All choices that I agree with, actually - but we have eaten at a table with all the family from day one, serve a wide variety of home cooked food and demonstrate good table manners. And still we have one child who will eat barely anything. We also have one who eats everything and one in the middle. So it really is a lot more to do with luck and less about the way you manage food (which I do think sounds great!).

Tureen · 24/02/2021 08:42

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Most people will have heard that the 'sandwich' was invented by the Earl of Sandwich in the 18th century, however a little known fact (which you won't find on Wikipedia... just yet) is that around the same time the Marquis de Trày of France invented the 'tray' as a shallow platform to eat from whilst at the theatre. He also coined the term 'très bon' if he had eaten a particular tasty snack from his tray. So this trayditional means of eating preceded the television by a good number of years.

Behave, @TwoLeftSocksWithHoles.

Petiole are going to start trotting that out along with the roll-down necks on baby vests and arrows on car dashboards pointing at the petrol tank access.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 24/02/2021 08:45

The phrase 'talk about the day' really riles me! I have found my people!

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 24/02/2021 09:10

Most people will have heard that the 'sandwich' was invented by the Earl of Sandwich in the 18th century, however a little known fact (which you won't find on Wikipedia... just yet) is that around the same time the Marquis de Trày of France invented the 'tray' as a shallow platform to eat from whilst at the theatre. He also coined the term 'très bon' if he had eaten a particular tasty snack from his tray. So this trayditional means of eating preceded the television by a good number of years.

Well, there we have it. Privilege in its finest form.

1940s · 24/02/2021 09:17

[quote BlackRibboner]@1940s , I think snarky responses are a bit off, but as someone with a fussy child (and who was very fussy myself), it is a bit galling to hear that your child is a great eater because of your parenting choices. All choices that I agree with, actually - but we have eaten at a table with all the family from day one, serve a wide variety of home cooked food and demonstrate good table manners. And still we have one child who will eat barely anything. We also have one who eats everything and one in the middle. So it really is a lot more to do with luck and less about the way you manage food (which I do think sounds great!).[/quote]
That's why I stated it's definitely due to luck too. But anyone with a fussy eater or attempting to remove risk of one would want to follow common sense such as eating together with no distractions and eating good home cooked food. I don't think it's a 100% success rate. However if I was to post a new thread asking for advice to help solve a fussy eater - I can guarantee that 'experts' and fellow parents would state what I do at home currently is the best bet.

starfishmummy · 24/02/2021 09:18

With ds home learning on one table and dh wfh on another (yes we are lucky to have two), I cant remember when we last ate at a table!!

But even though its on our knees we try to eat together and have a conversation.

Ragwort · 24/02/2021 09:28

I'm genuinely amazed that families can all find the same tv programme to enjoy, most of our evening is spent trying to find at least one show that both DH and I want to watch. Do you all share the same taste in tv as your family?

Figgygal · 24/02/2021 09:30

I might sneak my lunch on the sofa but otherwise all meals are at table
We are lucky to have two dining tables though

Original poster

FredSoftly · 24/02/2021 09:44

@Ragwort

I'm genuinely amazed that families can all find the same tv programme to enjoy, most of our evening is spent trying to find at least one show that both DH and I want to watch. Do you all share the same taste in tv as your family?

Telly watching is not mandatory whilst eating from a tray! Nor do you all have to be in the same room.

OP posts:

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 24/02/2021 09:52

My DHs family are very middle class, always ate on their trays in front of the tv. Now, they have zero idea how to communicate with each other. They dont know what happens in each others lives. They dont even ask. They didnr fall out, they just literally dont know how to speak to each other. My SIL had major very obvious issues in her teen, and my MIL had no idea as they never had a conversation during the day. Even now, my inlaws dont know how to speak to my DDs, and turn the tv on 10 mins after getting in the door. I make them sit at the table for dinner. They say they find it 'cute' and they go very silent

This is such twaddle. This issue is the family not the table. Our lot are constantly chatting, we have great relationships, they’re all desperate to visit. You know so we can sit on the SOFA to eat tea and CHAT!

I’m not suprised MIL goes silent. So would l if you tried that in my house

zzizzer · 24/02/2021 10:03

Yes, it genuinely made me laugh that someone thinks that the family "have zero idea how to communicate" all because they didn't eat sitting at a table. Absolute balderdash - although perhaps if you find communicating hard, you find it more relaxing to eat while watching tv together or something.

And yeah if one more person posts that quote I'll join you in screaming about it OP

zzizzer · 24/02/2021 10:04

Also christ I can't believe you feel all smug about making your guests uncomfortable.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 24/02/2021 10:06

It's all diner table here. Eating off a tray seems perilous, and unlikely to do justice to the meal cooked.
We always ate diner at a table and with all the family when I was still living with my parents, and this is something I am still doing now. It is lovely to just stop a bit with the screens, talk about news, hobbies, whatever really, but as a family. It's great bonding and help children to learn how to debate smartly and make conversation politely, and adults to keep updated about pop culture without being cringy.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 24/02/2021 10:11

and help children to learn how to debate smartly and make conversation politely

They don’t have to sit at a table to do this. My kids have been on debating teams, and they are all polite, considerate, well rounded lovely adults. A table had no influence on their upbringing.

XingMing · 24/02/2021 10:17

There's an article in today's Times2 on the same topic! We are not quoted.

unmarkedbythat · 24/02/2021 10:18

@1940s I think you're confusing bitterness with contempt.

stampsurprise · 24/02/2021 10:19

Debating during a meal sounds exhausting and a recipe for indigestion

OscarWildesCat · 24/02/2021 10:19

All meals at the table here, I’m not smug about it, it’s just what we do and what DH and I both did at home, on Friday nights we get a take away and the kids will maybe eat theirs in their rooms and DH and I in front of tv. We do all chat and sometimes argue but in general it’s quite nice as normally everyone is in separate rooms doing their own thing. It feels a bit of a treat to me to eat on the sofa, but I realise that means I have an extremely sad life!.

stampsurprise · 24/02/2021 10:20

@XingMing

There's an article in today's Times2 on the same topic! We are not quoted.

What?! Not even the “tables are for white racists” theory? 🤣

riotlady · 24/02/2021 10:31

We eat most of our meals on the sofa! So much comfier. I think for me it’s partially a rebellion because my mum was quite strict growing up and we were never allowed to eat in the living room. I don’t think our family meals round the table made us any closer either

XingMing · 24/02/2021 10:38

That's one reason I read the article @stampsurprise.

GoodbyeH · 24/02/2021 10:50

An unpopular opinion here:

We always eat at the table and so far no one has PTSD because of it.

lazylinguist · 24/02/2021 11:30

I don't think family conversation and communication have anything to do with whether you eat round a table or not. You're either a family who talk or you're not.

I prefer eating round the table because it's easier and more practical in terms of serving food, it keeps food smells and potential spills away from soft furnishings, because I have a nice kitchen table and dining room table for that purpose, because the living room is further away if you want some seasoning or a sauce or another drink etc, and because I have no desire to sit and watch tv while I eat.