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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you attend a wedding in July?

321 replies

Workyticket · 23/02/2021 09:11

Yanbu: yes, I would
Yabu: not a chance

We're on our 3rd wedding date. Mid July - supposedly social distancing will be a thing of the past -doubt it like-

Trying to decide what to plan for. We're booked for a farm in Northumberland. Outdoor wedding under an open barn

Potentially eat outside but massive marquee booked in case the weather is shit

80 day time and 140 evening original guests

It's very laid back - nowt sorted really despite it being our 3rd date and nothing that can't be sorted or cancelled in the last couple of weeks if necessary

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Mandsy100 · 15/05/2021 13:15

I wouldn't. I would actually think you are irresponsible to also put people in a position where they feel obligated to go. Yes it's not a summons, but it's not that easy for close family or friends who don't want to be upset you and attend out of obligation when they would rather not.

Workyticket · 15/05/2021 13:19

@Mandsy100

I wouldn't. I would actually think you are irresponsible to also put people in a position where they feel obligated to go. Yes it's not a summons, but it's not that easy for close family or friends who don't want to be upset you and attend out of obligation when they would rather not.
Up until the last few days things were looking up. Original wedding was booked for last year - postponed for Feb and now July.

Our guests have been clearly told we don't expect them to come and know we won't be offended.

I don't know what else we could have done. I've tried to be positive and laid back but I'm so sick of saying 'we hope' of 'we'll see'

I don't want to put people at risk at all but things have been looking up until the last couple of days.

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DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes · 15/05/2021 13:26

I'd go unless things have changed enormously but then. It sounds fantastic. I'm down south but come from a vast sprawling Northumbrian family so have many happy memories of fantastic Geordie/Northumbrian weddings.
We mixed the formal/traditional aspects that were "expected" with a more casual relaxed mega party that was more our vibe and had a brilliant as day that seemed to be enjoyed by everyone from maiden great aunt to biker mates. Enjoy, especially the cheese and beer. 🍻

Aprilx · 15/05/2021 13:44

I would go if I were a guest, but if I were half of the couple, I would not have planned a wedding this large this soon.

Sniv · 15/05/2021 13:55

Regrettably, no. I might have had my first jab by then, but not my second. I have been quite chilled, but the closer we get to being out of this mess, the more anxious I am not to get Covid. I do not want to be sat on the sofa with long covid just when everyone else is at nightclubs and festivals. I'm playing it safe til I've had both jabs.

Workyticket · 15/05/2021 14:28

@Aprilx

I would go if I were a guest, but if I were half of the couple, I would not have planned a wedding this large this soon.
It was booked Christmas 2019 for a July 2020 wedding. Before Covid when every was straightforward 😭
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CheltenhamLady · 18/05/2021 13:23

The point is that most weddings scheduled for later this year have already been postponed at least once.

If you get an invitation then assess the situation at that time and make a decision.

It was looking fine until the Indian variant got a hold. Hopefully, it will soon be resolved by the surge testing and increased vaccination efforts.

Workyticket · 18/05/2021 16:26

@CheltenhamLady exactly that. I'm sick to the back teeth of it all now 😫

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Blondeshavemorefun · 18/05/2021 19:34

@Aprilx

I would go if I were a guest, but if I were half of the couple, I would not have planned a wedding this large this soon.
We booked jan 2019 for may 2020

That was cancelled March 2020 and moved to may 2021 - who rally thought still be in same place a year later. We didn’t

which got cancelled again think feb 2021 as can’t marry inside - was last weekend actually

So been moved to July 2021

Numbers at present are 30. Hoping will go to 75

RoseAndRose · 18/05/2021 19:41

I would go to the wedding and the first part of the celebration, but probably not stay for the larger evening gathering.

If not invited to the actual wedding, I wouldn't go

Pottedpalm · 18/05/2021 19:42

We are invited to one scheduled for just after the unlocking date. Up o a few days ago it looked likely to go ahead, but I’m a bit doubtful now. If we unlock we will go, but I wouldn’t mind at all if we are cut from the list.

alphajuliet123 · 18/05/2021 19:47

It would depend who it was - if it was a good friend I’d probably still want to go. If it wasn’t, I would politely decline. You will almost certainly have some people drop out but hopefully your nearest and dearest will still be able to go. Fingers crossed!!!

TinyGlassOwl · 18/05/2021 19:53

OP, we rescheduled from August 2020 to July 2021. Originally 80 people in a gorgeous venue in Glasgow with a sit-down meal and dancing...now 16 of us in a registry office and then lunch after.

We just decided to cut our losses and have something really small instead of umming and aaahing and relying on 'the roadmap' actually happening as Johnson said it should. And like clockwork, Glasgow has had a spike just as it was about to re-open!

I do feel extremely a bit sad that all our plans have gone to pot (we've actually been planning this since 2017 - don't ask Grin) but in the end it's the getting married bit that actually matters.

I hope you have a fab day whatever happens Flowers

Chailatteplease · 18/05/2021 20:06

Mine is planned for July, with 40 guests. There was no way I was re-scheduling for a 4th time. According to the roadmap, all restrictions will be lifted in time and even if they’re not, I absolutely will not be social distancing from my guests or wearing a mask. I’ve had both vaccines. I’ll leave it up to my guests to decide if they want to distance or wear masks.

breadbinbaby · 18/05/2021 20:11

We’re still planning full numbers (150 ish) for the last weekend in June wedding I mentioned earlier in this thread OP. Everyone knows the situation we’re in is tricky and we’d have no recourse if we wanted to cancel anything right now anyway, which we don’t. We’ve had enthusiastic acceptances from nearly everyone (actually more than you’d probably expect for a summer wedding in normal times as people are usually on holiday etc) so I don’t think people are finding the invitation irresponsible or inappropriate or whatever. If something happens to reduce numbers then it happens but it certainly isn’t guaranteed to right now.

DigOutThoseLemonHandWipes · 18/05/2021 20:51

I feel for all of you that have had to postpone, reschedule, cut numbers, change plans often more than once. Planning a wedding once was enough for me. I hope you all have wonderful weddings and very happy marriages.

JeanneDoe · 18/05/2021 22:59

I’m going to a wedding in July. Also 3rd time lucky. 120 guests.

I’ve booked my tickets. Fully expecting it to be on and to be going.

Workyticket · 22/05/2021 09:23

Argh - The Mirror posted yesterday. Telegraph today!

Would you attend a wedding in July?
Would you attend a wedding in July?
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AddisonMontgomeryShepherd · 22/05/2021 09:32

What are the rules likely to be around dancing in England then OP?
Sorry I haven't read the full thread if it's been answered.
I'm getting married in august in Scotland and have cut to 50 people day & night.
We've been told dancing isn't expected until AT LEAST tier 0 so still no idea if it's a possibility at this stage which also influenced my decision of numbers. I didn't want 100 people in a room not able to mix/dance.

Workyticket · 22/05/2021 10:08

Still not clear. Apparently there'll be an announcement on Monday (which would allow 28 days for banns to be read before 21st June)

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breadbinbaby · 23/05/2021 08:58

@Workyticket

Still not clear. Apparently there'll be an announcement on Monday (which would allow 28 days for banns to be read before 21st June)
I never understood that logic. Unless you hot footed it down to the registry office at 6pm and gave notice with no appointment, it would do no such thing! We gave notice last week and had to book about 6 weeks in advance to do so. You’re right OP, it’s very unclear because of the conflicting reports.
toobusytothink · 23/05/2021 09:07

I’d love to go. You say you’re older so most people will have had 2nd vaccine by then and definitely 1st. But .... there is a risk everything won’t be relaxed in June as previously thought and then it wouldn’t be allowed obviously. But if roadmap goes ahead as planned then hell yeah. And I say that as someone who has followed 99% of “the rules”. Good luck

Workyticket · 23/05/2021 10:16

We're booked in to give notice again on the 1st of June.

We'll be pretty much planning a wedding in 6 weeks if we get the go ahead. We've done virtually nothing.

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ElephantsNest · 23/05/2021 10:24

I hope you figure it out - I was planning a big party that would have fallen in the school holidays but I’ve just postponed it to next year because accommodation nearby is eye wateringly expensive this year, if you can find it.

wasthataburp · 23/05/2021 10:25

Why would someone not go? Unless they have severe heath issues then Anyone who wouldn't go needs counselling