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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you don't want your child to go back, homeschool them.

388 replies

Mrgrinch · 22/02/2021 08:11

I've seen so many people on here ranting about how they don't think the schools should open. Many even saying they won't follow any other rules anymore if they do.

AIBU to think they should just homeschool their DC then?

Do they not realise how badly this is affecting so many children and families? Do they not realise how many children have been having no education at all? Some parents are at breaking point trying to keep their jobs and make sure their children are doing some school work.

Homeschooling was always an option, even before covid so if you are so concerned then unlist them and provide their education yourself. We can't stay home forever.

OP posts:
PrairieFires · 22/02/2021 12:46

I find it interesting that in RL everyone I know wants their children back (including teachers and HCPs although their kids are in class anyway), but on MN it's largely the opposite.

If anyone had had to homeschool my 7 year old since January, they would be banging down the school door!

lpsandmore · 22/02/2021 12:47

@AlexaShutUp

Masks in secondary classrooms seems pretty easy.

I really don't understand the opposition to this. If we want schools open, surely it's a small price to pay.

Except for the thousands of SEN, EAL and hard of hearing kids and staff that completely rely on lip reading. My DD had the most miserable term of her life last term thanks to the fact she could basically not understand any of her friends at break time when masks where mandatory. It's only a small price to pay for NT kids. Not to mention the fact they aren't even effective in schools. They touch them, put them in their pockets etc. I'm not opposed to masks but they're completely unhygienic and defeat the purpose in this context.
PurpleDaisies · 22/02/2021 12:47

I find it interesting that in RL everyone I know wants their children back (including teachers and HCPs although their kids are in class anyway), but on MN it's largely the opposite.

Teachers want kids back safely.

lpsandmore · 22/02/2021 12:50

@PrairieFires

I find it interesting that in RL everyone I know wants their children back (including teachers and HCPs although their kids are in class anyway), but on MN it's largely the opposite.

If anyone had had to homeschool my 7 year old since January, they would be banging down the school door!

I don't think people in real life tend to get into the nitty gritty of this. You generally hear yes i want them back asap. This is the same as here except for the fact that people are telling you the ins and outs of their worries surrounding the opening. I would love for my DD to go back but the mitigating measures which I am all in favour of, make her life a complete misery at school.
Itsjustricemichael · 22/02/2021 12:50

Don't get me wrong... I want my DS to go back. I am however pretty damn nervous that I'm clinically vulnerable and not had my vaccine yet. I hopefully will have by the start of the summer term. For me... ideally I would send him for outdoor sport and socializing on the 8th, home school with the great school support we have had and then back in summer term but I don't expect that to be an option.

noblegiraffe · 22/02/2021 12:52

Except for the thousands of SEN, EAL and hard of hearing kids and staff that completely rely on lip reading

And still other countries manage to find workable solutions while here it’s just simply impossible.

No can-do attitude.

AlexaShutUp · 22/02/2021 12:57

Except for the thousands of SEN, EAL and hard of hearing kids and staff that completely rely on lip reading. My DD had the most miserable term of her life last term thanks to the fact she could basically not understand any of her friends at break time when masks where mandatory.
It's only a small price to pay for NT kids.

I do accept this point. I'm afraid I have no idea about how many SEN/hard of hearing kids/staff currently rely on lipreading in mainstream schools, and whether exceptions could potentially be made at a local level. I do have a lot of experience of working with EAL kids, and while there might be a small impact on them, I don't believe that masks would be particularly problematic for those without additional needs.

Out of interest, what alternative measures would you suggest that would protect SEN/hard of hearing kids who need to lipread while also providing some protection to those kids who are clinically vulnerable to covid? Especially in schools where classrooms cannot be adequately ventilated?

TenaciousOnePointOne · 22/02/2021 12:59

@alfieum

Wanting children to have an education and social skills, wanting a functioning economy, once the vulnerable are vaccinated, is not right wing.

People saying they care so much about the vulnerable in society are overlooking the awful long term effects that these measures will have. I support a cautious un-locking and would prefer a staggered return to school.But many posters on here seem to think it will never be safe. If that is your view point then home school, stay home etc. Life needs to be led again.

I'm not sure I've seen people who want the schools to never reopen. I would like to see a cautious un-locking over a Big Bang everyone back to school. How the primaries reopened in June was so much better, where they had children in school part time. It reduced the amount of mixing and if I remember correctly our school kept the key worker classroom open which meant that they weren't mixing with the other children. When closing the bubbles it can be quite useful to have that degree of separation as siblings are in the same bubble.
zoemum2006 · 22/02/2021 13:02

I’m not giving up my children’s places in their great schools because we need to wait a bit longer to return.

I want the option to homeschool them for a bit longer so that when they do go back they don’t have to go off again.

BiBabbles · 22/02/2021 13:04

Yes, home education has always been a choice, but seeing as many have been pushing for schools to not off-roll and screw over the most vulnerable students well before COVID (especially for those in exam years), I don't think encouraging parents with children who are more vulnerable to COVID to just leave is a good thing to be doing, it goes against years of work for the opposite. I think there needs to be more pressure for the funding and resources for schools to do this right.

Pretty sure some of the other countries used as examples have far stronger unions than here and have many things that teachers and parents have been asking for.

The ideas that years groups aren't mixing made me laugh. Yeah - that's the ideal, but when a school has 1 bike rack area, guess what happens? When you've a school that's already had to take on 30-60+ extra students per year group because they were meant to be a larger building last year but are still stuck in a temporary office one that was never meant to hold this many people - guess what happens even with the best will and rules in the world? Said school has talked about pretty much shrinking break times as much as possible when they go back because they can't manage social distancing in the building they're in with the staff they have and there is no funding for any other option but shrinking the school day. If they could get support for a rota system and funding for some additional measures, I think there would be a lot of benefits.

Making blanket statements isn't going to help - yes in many areas the NHS capacity has improved, but I'm in an area where we go from fine to not fine really fast largely because we've had so many hospitals closed in recent years that our last one standing is having to be used for a far larger area.

I was in a local meeting for public health recently specially about schools (though I'm still waiting on some of the datasets so I can't really contextualize some of it). It was really noticeable some settings had done far better than others - guess what, the poorer areas with poorer buildings with way too many students for the space were fucked last year. There may less risks due to the vaccine, but without any additional measures, they're still the most likely to be fucked.

I've no intent on keeping off my children who are school- and college- educated - even beyond my own desires for them to go back, they're all big enough that I couldn't even if I wanted to if they disagreed and, but when I've one child who is lucky enough to be in a place that has everything in place (but means he'll end up with far fewer GCSEs) and two others who aren't, it's does become a bit personal when the children and staff in my black hole area are getting shafted and blanket statements that schools have all the things aren't going to help any of those who with current resources can't to do that.

We have to be honest that we're taking more risks than countries we're hoping to be like because the government is putting less into supporting schools do this well rather than using the exceptional schools as a way to beat the schools doing less well and parents who are concerned. Yes, they can home educate, but that doesn't actually make anything better, it just adds onto the problems already there for home educated children and young people, both those who do it by choice and those who are stuck without suitable provisions.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 22/02/2021 13:05

Do you know what, I'm so very fucking angry. Just fucking furious.

I am in the shielded group. We recently had an e-mail from Matt & Robert advising us to continue shielding until at least March 21st - vaccinated or not.

The advice for shielding parents is to send the children back to school, then to try to stay 2m away from them.

School is acknowledged by SAGE to be a moderate COVID risk, and they have also acknowledged that it's still very difficult to be precise about how big a risk school's pose. (See today's BBC reality check).

Do you think, if Boris or Jenny Harries had a brother or sister with blood cancer or a transplanted organ (because those are the people we're talking about), that they would advise them to send their children to school and stay in their bedroom for a year? I don't believe anyone would treat someone they cared about in this way. It follows that they don't care about shielding parents. At all.

I have kept my thoughts to myself, because I know that closing schools makes life harder for most families - although it has made my family's life easier and better.

But I'm so fucking sick of meekly bowing my head and thinking about the greater good.

I know everyone has had their struggles in this pandemic, for many different reasons, but reading things like the OP makes my fucking blood boil.

Watchingbehindmyhands · 22/02/2021 13:05

I take the point about deaf students. But if you remove masks for them, you are making it difficult for those who are CV/CEV themselves or have family members who are CV/CEV and not yet vaccinated to be in school. I am sure there is a middle ground in the majority of cases but it might take some thrashing out in indivdiual schools, depending on the make up of their classes, location of classrooms, availability of ventilation etc. The simple fact of the matter, nothing is being done. If a deaf child deserves to have an education, so does a CV one, surely?

lazylinguist · 22/02/2021 13:06

Year groups are not mixing at all with different year groups.

Year groups in most secondary schools have hundreds of kids. Many of those kids will have siblings in other year groups and teachers and TAs are constantly going back and forth between year groups so, effectively, there is mixing. I'm happy to send my dc back, and for me and dh to go back and teach, but people are kidding themselves about the measures in place tbh.

Singlenotsingle · 22/02/2021 13:08

Once the schools are up and running, there won't be any more homeschooling because teachers will be too busy with their classes. They can't do both.

AlexaShutUp · 22/02/2021 13:11

The advice for shielding parents is to send the children back to school, then to try to stay 2m away from them.

I know, my CEV dsis was advised to do this. She tried her best to follow it, but her ds is a teenager. It's fucking ridiculous to suggest that this would even be possible for the parent of a younger child, quite apart from the impact it would have emotionally on both of them.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 22/02/2021 13:22

@AlexaShutUp

The advice for shielding parents is to send the children back to school, then to try to stay 2m away from them.

I know, my CEV dsis was advised to do this. She tried her best to follow it, but her ds is a teenager. It's fucking ridiculous to suggest that this would even be possible for the parent of a younger child, quite apart from the impact it would have emotionally on both of them.

It's inhuman, and a way of washing their hands of the problem. 'Sorry you're dying on a ventilator. We did tell you not to hug your ten-year-old for a year'

Utter criminal bastards.

noblegiraffe · 22/02/2021 13:26

The advice for shielding parents is to send the children back to school, then to try to stay 2m away from them

That’s horrifying Flowers

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 22/02/2021 13:27

@noblegiraffe

The advice for shielding parents is to send the children back to school, then to try to stay 2m away from them

That’s horrifying Flowers

It is, isn't it, noble? That's been the advice since the first shielding letter was sent out, and it's been in every single one since.

So to see a thread title like this one makes steam come out of my ears.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 22/02/2021 13:29

And don't come out with the 'oh, we don't mean you poor cancer person' bollocks. I'm a member of society just like you. This affects me as well as you. My children deserve an education just as much as yours.

Just fuck you.

Jourdain11 · 22/02/2021 13:40

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch yep, that's what I had to try to do with my 8, 7 and 5 year old DC. Before I gave up on it. Maybe they think everyone has a nanny and lives in really big houses? It's a total piss take.

News flash Matt and Jen: it cannot be done!!

The ridiculous thing is, there are so many small things that can be done. We had to drum into our DC to take precautions at school and ask the school to facilitate this. But the government could easily ask for something to be put in place for CEV children / children of CEV parents. It seems rough that the parents have to take the responsibility to figure it out and hope the school will kindly facilitate it, without any funding or official guidance. Even just things like the kids changing and doing a thorough wash after school, leaving outdoor clothes outside, not mixing toiletries and cutlery and stuff. That would be more useful advice than "stay in a different room".

noblegiraffe · 22/02/2021 13:48

That's been the advice since the first shielding letter was sent out

I’ve seen threads on here appalled at the suggestion that you are supposed to isolate a family member with covid when that family member is a child. ‘Parents shouldn’t be expected to stay away from their kids’.

And yet that’s been the advice to you for a year Shock where has the outrage been?

Yes it must be pretty fucking galling to see I’m-alright-jacks rejecting any safety measures that might make your children’s lives a little bit easier while claiming that they’re the ones thinking of the children.

Selfish. Unutterably selfish.

MilesJuppIsMyBitch · 22/02/2021 13:55

Thanks @noblegiraffe  you're a tonic, as always 

I think us CEV have been too exhausted and terrified to rally, tbh.

How are you @Jourdain11? Nice to see you Smile

Tiktokersmiracle · 22/02/2021 13:56

[quote Mrgrinch]@Tiktokersmiracle do you really think I care if you post a biscuit emoji to me? Is that meant to upset me? It's childish to be honest.

Let's just lock our kids away forever shall we? In fact let's all lose our jobs and our minds and just somehow survive mentally and economically in a state of eternal lockdown.

Wonderful idea.[/quote]
Who said keep them home forevermore?

Because I didn't

I do however have a teen who is severely depressed because one of their fave teachers passed away of the virus. Who said they feel like its on their conscience forever. That they don't want to feel partly responsible for any more teachers, favourite or otherwise, passing away.

Long covid is about to be recognised as a reason for long term inability for work.

It's not a joke.

They have 2 weeks in which they could vaccinate staff but they won't because Hancock would then have to admit that the gamble of schools reopening didn't pay off and did spark the second, bigger, wave. That due to the new variants it's still not safe.
They won't do that because teachers and parents could sue. Especially those who have lost loved ones.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/02/2021 13:58

Spoke to our head teacher today. He was telling me how much domestic abuse (of both women and children) is being brought to his attention - presumably partly from talking to other heads in general terms - and also kids’ mental health problems and even self harm.

I think they need to go back.

Tiktokersmiracle · 22/02/2021 14:02

[quote lollipoprainbow]@Tiktokersmiracle get a grip it was hardly a 'vile' comment !! [/quote]
Yes it was

You accused anyone of not wanting children back as being unemployed.

You thought you were being clever, instead you came across as a vile, right wing snob.
Because apparently anyone who disagrees with the cluster fuck of shit the government are planning on dropping on parents, teachers and support staff is a benefit scumbag no doubt.

As I said.

Vile comment.