My child’s weight?

[C231009]

Posting here for traffic.

Dd is 5, 6 in the summer and has always been quite chunky. She was born relatively small but quickly gained weight. But she was always in the right size clothes or smaller until more recently. She was in 4-5 at the beginning of last year and now she’s in 6-7 and now some 7-8.

She’s grown loads in the past year both upwards and outwards. She has rapidly gained height. She was quite short when she started school but now is the same height or taller than her peers.

She is 4 stone and about 116cm tall. Which is overweight for her height.

But she seems to carry it all on her stomach a bit like me. She’s got relatively normal sized arms and legs but a larger mid area. I’m exactly the same and this is worrying me.

But what the hell is happening? We live rurally and exercise daily. Her meals are a good size. She does ask for food a lot and is always hungry but I try and offer her fruit and veg. She has a weakness for dairy products such as cheese but again this is limited to say a baby bel rather than cutting off a block of cheese. She loves fruit and veg which is a bonus here.

Any other advice? I wouldn’t say she needs to lose a great deal of weight but she needs to tone up a bit with the belly fat. I’m hoping it’ll be easier in the summer as we can get out in the gardens (needs a lot of work done for now.)

We also used to walk to school every day which isn’t happening anymore. But we do walk every day for at least 30-45 minutes!

Sorry for not being aibu but need some advice and a hand hold.

I’m feeling like I’ve failed her. Growing up I was allowed to eat whatever I want and I was a fat kid and teen. I’ve always promised to do differently with mine. Theh have the odd treat but eat generally a balanced healthy diet. I don’t want her having the same struggles I did but I don’t know what else I can do 🤨

I think we overestimate what children need to eat. My daughter at that age was a bit heavier than she should have been but it took me a while to realise that young children can exercise a lot but don’t need loads of extra food to compensate just a good, healthy diet. I had to look at portions and snacks that were becoming too often.

don't underestimate the exercise she may have been doing in school, running about the playground etc. I think most of us the past year have been doing less steps or exercise as we haven't been moving from place to place as much which all adds up.

keep the treats to a minimum for now and keep an eye once she is back in school and see if it settles.

Hi Op,

You sound like a lovely Mum!

It’s so hard to know what to do for the best, the only advice I have is from conversation with a friend.
My friend had concerns with her 6 year old and the advice she was given was to ensure a sensible daily calorie allowance (she hadn’t realised how many extra calories are in juice or smoothies for example) and be mindful of portion sizes.

Apart from that the GP said to allow the child to ‘grow into’ their weight height wise rather than try to lose it and to up the exercise, I think the advice was a least 3 hours per day. My friend bought a trampoline for their garden and they all got bikes that they used everyday and for local trips instead of the car.

I appreciate that might not be affordable for everyone but it made a difference, a year on her DD appears to be fitter and much more in proportion (both to her frame and to other children of a similar age).

Hopefully getting outside more will be easier as we move into Spring 🤞🏻

I had to look up correct weight for her age and height, and idea weight is around 3 stone, with 3.9 stone being the max acceptable weight. So 4 stone is overweight.
My advice is to look at where the calories are. Protein is good for keeping hunger at bay. Slow release carbs are best, so whole grain bread, brown rice etc. Look at her portion sizes, make sure not too big for her age, and that the ratio is right for carbs, protein and veg. Some meals are very high in calories,try to limit these to just occasionally.
Juice is full of calories, if she likes juice maybe mix it with water or sparkling water.
Is she actually hungry? Could she be thirsty, does she drink enough? Or could she even be eating out of boredom?
Regarding exercise, do you have a trampoline? Great fun and burns lots of calories. 10 mins bouncing on a trampoline is equal to a 30 mins run!

Don’t make a big deal out of any changes, or make it about her weight.

Thanks all. Hoping once they are back at school it will help as well as taking steps at home. We have a large garden but the layout of our garden means it’s a complete mess at the minute.

She also has hyper-mobility and low muscle tone (didn’t walk until 2). She cannot run very well (think fast paced skip/walk) but we try and walk as much as poss. She can ride a balance bike which is great exercise for her legs and ride a scooter. She isn’t keen on trampolining as she doesn’t feel secure but we have a trampoline in the garden!

I’ll definitely be watching what she eats. I think the snacks must be the culprit as her meals aren’t overly large at all I don’t think. For instance she has one slice of marmite on toast for breakfast, for lunch usually crackers, a bit of cheese, cucumber etc etc and a cooked meal. During school time she has cooked food there.

We have had take away twice this week which I’ll admit. It’s been a tough week due to various things going and it was just easier at the tjme but generally we do not have it so often!

Children who haven't yet reached adult height shouldn't try to lose weight generally unless they are a seriously unhealthy weight. She will need the fat reserves for next growth spurt. Certainly it's a good idea to reduce her calories a bit and up her exercise but that should be with a view to maintaining her current weight until her height catches up.

Lunch doesn't sound filling enough. Give her an omelette for protein with veg or a piece of chicken and wholewheat couscous with veg on the side.

Can she have porridge or eggs for breakfast (if not for lunch).

It sounds odd to say feed her more but it is more of the right things.

Why don't you tell us an example of what she eats over the course of the day and how many times in a day, she will have something.

In France, there is nothing in between meals, for the exception of the 4 pm afternoon snack, even young children will have breakfast and then nothing till 12.30, 4 pm, 7 pm for younger and then nothing after dinner.
I moved to Australia, and here people eat all the time, everywhere, while walking, in cars, in parks, on the beach, eat eat eat., It was very strange for me at first. Mothers carry food in their bags, have snacks in car, .... The habit of snacking is encouraged from very young, with toddlers in prams always with a packet of snack in their hands, baby weaned with puffs and crisps, ....

I have to say that nobody has sandwiches for lunch if you are home. We will have some meat, fish, with raw and cooked vegetables. The second difference is that we only eat sitting at a table, not in bedrooms or lounges.

So where does this leave you. Maybe - if this is the case in your house - state that you want a cleaner house and that nobody eats anywhere but sitting down at dinning table or kitchen bench. Never in front of tv.
Clean your cupboards and put all snacks and processed food out of sight. Crisps, rice cakes, and other ultra processed food should however not be bought again. You are not eliminating them but will give 3 biscuits on a plate at 4 for afternoon snack or a slice of cake, a crepe, for breakfast. Even some chocolate squares in a bread roll. So a child has their little pleasure, no obsession.

I think the biggest difference would come from removing processed food wihich not only cause extremed cravings but will cause an unnatural weight gain. Processed industrial cheeses, spreads, hummus, even the breads, so spongy and artificial. try to go for more natural versions of cheese, breads. Industrial cheese (easy to identify, it is square and with plastic sheets) which your DD has a fondness for is well so artificial it is a combination of fat with a sweet taste. IT is not her fault.

You are scared of history repeating itself but you don't have to. With the lockdowns and being all the time at home, boredom kicks in and of course, a kid will visit the fridge every hour. But if there isn't much in the fridge but fresh food, or in the pantry no processed food, hopefully she will lose the habit.

I recommend for you, not your DD , this book www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B06XCPNLCQ/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 about how processed food is affecting the body

It might be difficult to change the habits and meals, but it is a matter of a couple of weeks.

30-45 mins doesn’t sound like much exercise. Is she rushing around at home the rest of the time?

Thank you.

What she eats varies tbh. She isn’t fussy at all.

For breakfast she often has marmite on toast, some strawberries & yogurt, sometimes cereal (I know cereal isn’t great) on a school day. At the weekends when daddy’s home it’s usually poached eggs for breakfast.

For lunch it really depends. She loves crackers, cheese, ham etc that kind of thing. Sometimes it’ll be tuna pasta, sometimes it’ll be a sandwich, sometimes it’ll be fish fingers. She will eat most things.

For dinner it really depends on what we have. Could be pasta, could be chicken, could be roast dinner, could be lasagne, spag Bol etc etc. It really does vary.

Portion sizes are okay.

I admit she does quite often ask for snacks. This varies again. Could be cheese, could be fruit and veg, could be a yoghurt etc. Sometimes a biscuit!

I’m thinking of doing a daily snackbox and when it’s all gone, it’s all gone. I’ve seen a few parents try the same with some success.

No advice but have the same problem. My 6 year old is now in 7-8 clothes and these are getting tight.

She has shot up but also has a tummy, but she's constantly asking for food, probably from boredom.

We normally swim a few times a week and do sports activities but as we are juggling lots we don't have time for walks everyday

She eats all her dinner and always asks for more. I'm hoping it's going to improve once lockdown is over and life gets back to normal

@skeggycaggy

30-45 mins doesn’t sound like much exercise. Is she rushing around at home the rest of the time?

Yes she doesn’t stop. Walks tend to be longer at the weekend but we have not got the time to walk for hours during the week due to work. Generally before lockdown we walk to school and back every day too. Also when we are waiting for my oldest she is doing laps around the playground! So being off school does not help.

My 7yo carries all her weight in her belly, she can look 8 months pregnant at the end of the day sometimes as she suffers a bit with bloating as well.

She’s gone from running round the playground every day, 5 days a week, after school sports club once a week, gymnastics club once a week and 1 swimming lesson and one play swimming session a week to one, one hour walk every other day. Plus shes bored and wants all the snacks.

I’m hoping when she’s back at school and all her activities she will drop a bit of weight.

@C231009

Thank you.

What she eats varies tbh. She isn’t fussy at all.

For breakfast she often has marmite on toast, some strawberries & yogurt, sometimes cereal (I know cereal isn’t great) on a school day. At the weekends when daddy’s home it’s usually poached eggs for breakfast.

For lunch it really depends. She loves crackers, cheese, ham etc that kind of thing. Sometimes it’ll be tuna pasta, sometimes it’ll be a sandwich, sometimes it’ll be fish fingers. She will eat most things.

For dinner it really depends on what we have. Could be pasta, could be chicken, could be roast dinner, could be lasagne, spag Bol etc etc. It really does vary.

Portion sizes are okay.

I admit she does quite often ask for snacks. This varies again. Could be cheese, could be fruit and veg, could be a yoghurt etc. Sometimes a biscuit!

I’m thinking of doing a daily snackbox and when it’s all gone, it’s all gone. I’ve seen a few parents try the same with some success.

I am not sure I would define your meals as healthy. Homemade, yes, typical British meals, yes, but no salads of any sort, no vegetables, heavy and full of sauce, more of less of a brownish colour If she isn't fussy, embrace that and add colours in her plate , from roasted zucchini to carrot salad and maybe try to change her lunch a couple of days a week for something with fresh ingredients instead of the processed ones she is having.

A snack box would still encourage snacking spread during the course of the day, so she will never lose the habit of snacking and maybe only get anxious when she sees the content going down. So many languages do not have a word for snack (French, Italian, Spanish, Chinese, ....) because they don't have the snacking culture. I think that by removing this habit, in the long term, teenager years and even adult life, you are actually freeing her from a damaging habit.

I understand however this is part of the UK culture, both the type of food and its frequency.

Maybe you can still consider adding fresh food for everyone, a lovely butter lettuce with fresh parsley, a tomato salad with spring onion, a soup even, put some colours on the dining table.

For a start, ditch the crackers - they're full of saturated fat and salt, and unless they're wholegrain they'll be simple carbohydrates with almost no fibre. Really not a healthy food - they should be kept for treats only, the same as crisps and biscuits.

A really good rule of thumb is 3 meals with lots of veg, and 2 snacks of 100 kcal each. Try the Change4Life website and look at what a 6 year old's portion should be, and take a little away from that, since unfortunately if she has hypotonia she won't burn as many calories as the average child her age.

Height is a red herring, as overweight children are generally taller than they would normally be as extra fat spurs on growth and puberty.

I'd say make snacks just fruit or vegetable sticks in between meals.

Is she eating yoghurt with sugar in it? If so, can you move her onto natural yoghurt instead? I think there's 2 teaspoons of sugar in a small yoghurt, but it's tricky to work out. 4gram per teaspoon I think.
Yes to losing the crackers. Highly processed carbs which don't make you feel full. Seeded sourdough occasionally instead perhaps?

You said she doesn’t feel secure on the trampoline. Does the trampoline have a safety net? This is a must for feeling secure.

Or is she afraid of getting hurt on the trampoline?

How many hours does she go without ANY food at all (not counting overnight)? It sounds as if she has far too many snacks.

Sounds like my daughter.
Lockdown hasn’t helped! She had swimming lessons every week before, as well as school running around, school P.E, exercise with family and trampoline in garden. No advice really but keeping an eye on snacks and doing plenty of just dance etc activities when weather is crap. Don’t beat yourself up - most of us have put on weight and we can get it off too.

@MomOfTwoGirls2

You said she doesn’t feel secure on the trampoline. Does the trampoline have a safety net? This is a must for feeling secure.

Or is she afraid of getting hurt on the trampoline?

It is 12 foot and has a net. I meant due to her hyper mobility and low muscle tone she struggles the sensation of bouncing. Bouncing is not always reccomended for children with similar issues. Same with bouncy Castles 😀

Stop the snacking.
She should be doing an hour of moderate/vigorous exercise a day.

Sounds like your underestimating the snacks and overestimating the exercise.

To be fair, my 50th centile toddler wats way more than that at mealtimes but we don't snack. The general rule is they can eat as much as they want or don't want at mealtimes and she gets dessert about once a week and a treat like cake or biscuits maybe twice a week. An apple between meals if she asks for it or if we have some and she wants some. Could it be the snacks? Xx

My ds10 has put on a lot of weight since the beginning of the first lockdown, hes never really been slender but it kind of happened overnight and tbh I didn't notice until they were going back to school and I had to buy his uniform which he'd gone from 12-13 uptown age 16 in trousers.
He Carrie's most of his weight in his belly, but also has quite solid legs, his exercise has also dropped considerably as he was doing football training 4 times a week as well as playing at school.
I know I need to do something about it so we're going to do it as a family as I've also put on a bit of weight myself.

Have you actually checked her portion sizes? They might be much too big. And stop the snacks altogether.