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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My child’s weight?

42 replies

C231009 · 21/02/2021 18:58

Posting here for traffic.

Dd is 5, 6 in the summer and has always been quite chunky. She was born relatively small but quickly gained weight. But she was always in the right size clothes or smaller until more recently. She was in 4-5 at the beginning of last year and now she’s in 6-7 and now some 7-8.

She’s grown loads in the past year both upwards and outwards. She has rapidly gained height. She was quite short when she started school but now is the same height or taller than her peers.

She is 4 stone and about 116cm tall. Which is overweight for her height.

But she seems to carry it all on her stomach a bit like me. She’s got relatively normal sized arms and legs but a larger mid area. I’m exactly the same and this is worrying me.

But what the hell is happening? We live rurally and exercise daily. Her meals are a good size. She does ask for food a lot and is always hungry but I try and offer her fruit and veg. She has a weakness for dairy products such as cheese but again this is limited to say a baby bel rather than cutting off a block of cheese. She loves fruit and veg which is a bonus here.

Any other advice? I wouldn’t say she needs to lose a great deal of weight but she needs to tone up a bit with the belly fat. I’m hoping it’ll be easier in the summer as we can get out in the gardens (needs a lot of work done for now.)

We also used to walk to school every day which isn’t happening anymore. But we do walk every day for at least 30-45 minutes!

Sorry for not being aibu but need some advice and a hand hold.

I’m feeling like I’ve failed her. Growing up I was allowed to eat whatever I want and I was a fat kid and teen. I’ve always promised to do differently with mine. Theh have the odd treat but eat generally a balanced healthy diet. I don’t want her having the same struggles I did but I don’t know what else I can do 🤨

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 21/02/2021 22:43

Hypermobility actually needs you to have stronger muscles so she needs the exercise more than others and you need to stop using that as an excuse for her.
She could do some dancing at home while you’re working. And some kids yoga or Pilates type for strength and core work. And ditch the carb snacks.

Hamsandwich2 · 21/02/2021 22:59

I’m not one for denying - DS has dessert twice a day. He likes to eat! And doesn’t eat very healthy food apart from the fruit and vegetables.

But it would be much better for her to have a proper lunch and cut out the snacking. I make a hot lunch every day.

Hamsandwich2 · 21/02/2021 23:00

Also don’t feel too guilty, there a huge difference in activity levels.

Can you get some other play equipment for the garden?

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 21/02/2021 23:11

That makes sense re trampoline. I have a wonky knee, I only go up on trampoline to sweep it or clean it 😊

How about some dance classes? Loads of online classes these days for all ages. Is that something she might enjoy? Not quite the same as in person classes, but it does get the children moving.

sonnysunshine · 21/02/2021 23:15

Have a check of portion size. A few of my friends kids are overweight I'm astounded at how much food they give them. She should be having very small portions at her age.

sonnysunshine · 21/02/2021 23:15

Just to add she weighs more than my 13 year old son who is 5'6" and not skinny!

CorianderBee · 21/02/2021 23:18

@sonnysunshine

Just to add she weighs more than my 13 year old son who is 5'6" and not skinny!
Your 13 year old weighs four stone?? I was a size 4-6 and 5'2 at age 13 and even I weighed just under 7st...
Cormoran · 21/02/2021 23:21

@sonnysunshine

Just to add she weighs more than my 13 year old son who is 5'6" and not skinny!
4 stones for a 5'6" teenage boy is severely underweight, like imminent cardiac arrest underweight
Mytupenceworth · 21/02/2021 23:24

If your daughter has hypermobility then a trampoline is one of the best forms of exercise to help strengthen her core muscles. My daughter was the same and also didn't walk until she was nearly two. A physio recommended an indoor trampoline with bars to hold onto to start with and as her confidence grows onto the bigger one

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 21/02/2021 23:26

5 foot 6 and 4 stone?! That has to be a joke

sonnysunshine · 21/02/2021 23:33

You're right! I converted completely wrong from Kgs. He is 7 stone (44kg hence the 4 thing). Slight panic that I had failed to notice he was massively underweight!

LouNatics · 21/02/2021 23:34

5’6” and four stone (25kg?) can’t be right. I have a similarly aged DC who is 5’5” and v.slim at 36kg which is under the 2nd percentile for weight. Making inaccurate comparisons can’t be helping OP.

OP, my youngest DC is the same age and eats similarly, I really would suggest if you are concerned then it’s a portion size thing. It can be tough to scale downward for a DC less than half our size, but then take into account activity levels and growth patterns/spurts, it’s not easy to know how much to give them on a daily basis. I wonder do you serve portions out and set them in front of DC or do you let them regulate themselves? Do you think letting them serve themselves from a communal dish/plate would help?

CorianderBee · 21/02/2021 23:39

@sonnysunshine

You're right! I converted completely wrong from Kgs. He is 7 stone (44kg hence the 4 thing). Slight panic that I had failed to notice he was massively underweight!
I was going to say, I was worried your son was about to keel over!
Hont1986 · 21/02/2021 23:48

what the hell is happening?

It's pretty simple, she is eating more calories than she burns. Quit the snacks, switch juice to squash, and reduce portion sizes.

BloodyCovid · 22/02/2021 00:08

All the snacks are completely unnecessary. She is in a state of sugar highs and lows which make her more and more hungry. The digestive system needs a rest between meals otherwise you develop a cycle of eating constantly as the stomach is constantly crying out to be full.

My DP eats constantly throughout the day as it’s a habit he’s developed. It drives me mad!

If we go for an hours walk he’ll bring food in his pocket and 2 hours after having a starter, roast and pudding he’ll have a slice of toast! He’s putting more and more weight on and it’s just not needed!

LouHotel · 22/02/2021 00:23

My oldest has hypermobility, in normal times swimming and a gym class is the best thing but at home try cosmic kids yoga on youtube that will help with strengthening.

Goldenbear · 22/02/2021 01:19

I don't think it is about just snacking. Both my DC will snack but they self regulate, even high sugar, salt stuff they will not finish it if they don't want it. I have noticed my youngest's friends who are a bit bigger will eat really quickly and will always finish what they consider 'treats'. I bought my DD an expensive milkshake the other day and a hot pie, she hadn't had any lunch we had been on a huge walk but she had about a third of both of those things and didn't want them. My son is nearly 14 and is probably too thin, will snack on a huge amount but never puts any weight on but he's the same and won't finish something even if it is a treat. I would be wary of making things too 'special'. That said, with my eldest I think he is obviously naturally like that.

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