Am I being U/over sensitive or is my husband just a dick?!

[Annoy]

I feel like a lot of the time when I talk to my DH he swings it round to me nagging or moaning. It properly pisses me off sometimes.

An example this evening is me cooking dinner using tofu. I flippantly comment to him, in a conversation way that I actually hate cooking tofu as it just falls apart and no amount of being gentle ever stops it from just turning to mush. His response, which is a typical response, is to disagree with me.

He does this all the fucking time.

Then I will respond again in a conversational way with ‘well I can never do it’ and he’ll tell me to stop moaning!

It’s like he can’t read me, but everything I say is a moan or a nag. When it’s not!! It’s just making conversation!!

He has a real habit of talking about himself ALOT! Work, hobbies, interests etc. He’s been in a mew job for 3 months and I know everything about it, what he does day by day/hour by hour, and the people he works with... their names, what their role is etc. I’ve been in my job for 18 months and he knows very little pf the details and my daily goings on.

I do feel that when we talk, in any context, the convo always swings around to him in some way! And I just get accused of moaning, or not doing something right.

Oh and regards him saying you're moaning or nagging, it's a clever tactic to ensure you don't actually talk to him about anything. More time for him to talk at you

My ex was like this . He would tell the same story 100 times to anybody who would listen but pulled me up if I repeated myself. He would walk off mid conversation ( so rude) but get angry if I didn’t respond as soon as he said something. If he had a new interest he would bore everybody and the photos always came out! I tried to divert the conversation but he was a man on a mission!

Are you always putting yourself down ?

I mean that first conversation could be read. As.

I don't like cooking it because it breaks

No it doesn't ( I don't notice that , it comes out well, I'm very happy with what you do )

Well I can't do it ( strop)

If he unloads work stuff etc on you, do you ever point out that he's moaning?

Tbf saying that you hate cooking with tofu is moaning and if I heard you saying that I'd probably query why you were doing it if you hate it so much? Or why you haven't learned how to cook it properly if it bothers you?

I know someone exactly like this. Every casual comment is taken as the start of an argument or complaint or request for an in depth response. When it’s just a passing comment made for light conversation. I’m never sure if this person is like this with everyone or if deep down they’re annoyed with me or don’t like me and this is the way it’s expressed.

Unasked for tofu advice:

Agree with pp Tofoo (Tesco sell it) never falls apart when you sauté or fry it and you don’t have to dry it. Also the pre marinated Cauldron pieces are good and quick to use.

I don’t think this is great
Dh and I enjoy doing things together, but it’s always more fun for me when I do it with a friend instead.

@AbstractHeart

Tbf saying that you hate cooking with tofu is moaning and if I heard you saying that I'd probably query why you were doing it if you hate it so much? Or why you haven't learned how to cook it properly if it bothers you?

So you often interperate things so negatively? This sounds like quite an unpleasant outlook on life.

I think it depends on your outlook. If you're quite negative you're going to view things as moaning. Rather than just a fairly neutral comment on something which is happening.

@Okokokbear I'd say that the person who is going around moaning that they hate things is the one that has a negative outlook on life

I’m constantly surprised at the amount of women here and in RL who are prepared to be bored to death and belittled in a relationship for the rest of their lives. Quite sad really.

Not sure how to do a clicky link but look up Pam Ayers “my husband” poem on you tube

The tofu I bought was a silken one from Marksies. I’d never bought that one before.

I have used Tofoo quite a bit and it is sturdier, but still falls apart on me 🤦‍♀️

I’ll try the cauldron one. Thanks.

@Rupertbeartrousers

Not sure how to do a clicky link but look up Pam Ayers “my husband” poem on you tube

Will do, thanks

What brand of tofu is it?

@Annoy

The tofu I bought was a silken one from Marksies. I’d never bought that one before.

I have used Tofoo quite a bit and it is sturdier, but still falls apart on me 🤦‍♀️

I’ll try the cauldron one. Thanks.

Ah just saw. Yeah Tofoo is my favourite. Depends what you are doing with it, I’d fry it first then add to things like curries.

I’ve been a vegetarian for 29 years and I don’t think I’ve ever tried tofu (and I’ve tried it in lots of recipes) that ever tastes great. I’ve just never got the appeal!