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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your baby make a mess when eating?

86 replies

Motherofking · 19/02/2021 10:04

When I feed my baby food ends up on his face hair clothes sometimes the floor. I can never seem to feed him and keep him clean. My husband is critical saying he has never seen a mother make such a mess when feeding their baby but I don't intentionally make a mess . My baby ties to self feed , or puts his hands in his mouth with food in it or pushes the spoon out if my hands which drops and causes mess. He makes me seem like such a crappy mother because of it . Tells me in doing something wrong because with his previous child with his ex he doesn't ever remember their being mess when eating . So now I don't know if this is normal or am I doing something wrong . Im a first time mum with no baby experinces and I don't have mum friends unfortunately due to lockdown ive not been able to make any so I don't know if this is normal or am I doing something wrong
Do you mums end up with some mess on the floor after feeding your baby ?

OP posts:
FishyFriday · 19/02/2021 10:26

I agree that he’s some mixture of:

  • deliberately being an arsehole and trying to make you feel bad
  • being really stupid (of course babies get messy eating; why would there be a market for bibs and easy wipe down high chairs otherwise?)
  • completely ignorant because he left his ex to do everything with weaning (and that’s probably a general theme of his parenthood).

None of those options reflect well on him.

I do baby led weaning with my baby. It’s hilariously messy. Normal people just laugh about the fact that babies manage to get food everywhere. And possibly take photos.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2021 10:27

Tell him to show you how she did it. Every meal time for the next month. He's SUCH an expert.

TryingNotToPanicOverCovid · 19/02/2021 10:27

Get him more involved so he can see for himself.

Bluekangaroo123 · 19/02/2021 10:29

I was just going to say that it’s would be a miracle if your baby didn’t make any mess! It’s good to make the most of the sensory experience of eating & making a mess is part of that. You sound like you are doing a great job. How dare your husband undermine you like that.

Schmoozer · 19/02/2021 10:29

Wow - you and baby doing fine !
He’s got bizarre views ....

Enjoy the mess, and enjoy baby 👶

evenBetter · 19/02/2021 10:30

Why does your husband keep producing kids that he doesn’t parent? Is it a status thing?

SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2021 10:38

And if he's going to do the "my ex did it better" either send him back to her or start critiquing his sexual performance compared to your exs. Esp the Latino lover with the big dick and the magic tongue

Original poster
Motherofking · 19/02/2021 10:39

@museumum

Some babies open their mouths to be fed like little baby birds. Others (like mine) like to be involved, grabbing the spoon, or “helping” the contents into their mouth with their fingers.
Yes I explained that . I said it could be that his first child would happily open her mouth . Mine doesn't and Wants to be very involved .. all babies are different but instead if just accepting this as an individual characteristic trait he reflects it negatively on me and compares me to other mums which is upsetting
OP posts:
Dobbyismyfavourite · 19/02/2021 10:39

Really so your DH already has a child and doesn't know that this is normal? Babies/toddlers need to explore food so touch it for texture and also learn to use a spoon for coordination skills. How are they going to do this if you just shove a spoon in their mouth just to avoid mess? Your DH sounds either an idiot or lazy. Carry on as you are you are doing a great job.

BabyofMine · 19/02/2021 10:40

My three year old still has to wear a full apron style bib or all her clothes would be completely trashed. Doesn’t help that she refuses to use cutlery most of the time despite having excellent fine motor skills.

MedusasBadHairDay · 19/02/2021 10:41

Both mine made a mess, the second far more than the first (she still does now tbh and she's 7, just a messy kid)

Wnikat · 19/02/2021 10:41

He sounds horrible.

I've had one who made an awful mess and one who was very neat so maybe his other baby was neater but he has absolutely no business criticising you. Does he do that a lot?

TryingNotToPanicOverCovid · 19/02/2021 10:42

Are there other issues with your partner? He sounds very critical. Why does he think feeding baby is your job and not joint?

Its def good for babies to experience thier food in a tactile way and learn to feed themselves.

User27aw · 19/02/2021 10:43

He shouldn't compare your parenting to his ex's that's real dick behaviour.
I'll bet its not the first time he has done this and it won't be the last.

countbackfromten · 19/02/2021 10:43

Your DH sounds really awful! The comparison thing is vile - are you getting any support elsewhere?

Your baby is exploring food and that is a positive thing! Don’t let what your git of a husband said stop something that is very normal and good for them!

AnnLouiseB · 19/02/2021 10:44

I’ve never known a baby eat without making an inordinate amount of mess. Your husband needs a swift reality check!

EileenGC · 19/02/2021 10:45

Babies make a mess when they eat, that’s normal. What happens when he feeds the baby? I suggest you split meals from now on and he gets to try giving him pasta, chicken and other messy things, let’s see how he does it.

lavenderlou · 19/02/2021 10:45

Er, yes! Completely normal and pretty common knowledge, even to people who don't have babies. What planet is your DH on? That's why they make bibs and special mats that you put under high chairs.

DC2 was a particular nightmare. I had to sit right next to her throughout the baby and toddler years as she had a habit of suddenly grabbing the bowl/plate and hurling it against the wall!

My 10 year old has always been a clumsy eater and still regularly spills down herself at age 10! I have to make sure she is never still wearing school uniform at the dinner table.

Original poster
Motherofking · 19/02/2021 10:46

@Wnikat

He sounds horrible.

I've had one who made an awful mess and one who was very neat so maybe his other baby was neater but he has absolutely no business criticising you. Does he do that a lot?

Yes all babies are different . Unfortunately he does do this even when it comes to other things baby related like sleep ,night feedings , colic etc. He will make it seem like his first child was the perfect baby compared to ours. Then Me being naive and ftm ive found it difficult to defend myself and ive had to google or ask my mum what is normal and what isn't which i end up finding out I'm doing just fine
OP posts:
RepulsedofRedbridge · 19/02/2021 10:48

Why has he only ever fed the baby a spoon or 2 of yoghurt? How old is the baby? He needs to step up and take on some responsibility its his baby too isn't it? Why is he leaving everything to you? Tell him to read a baby book on weaning and feeding or WhatsApp him some videos of other babies eating he sounds clueless and needs educating.

Original poster
Motherofking · 19/02/2021 10:49

I agree . Baby is 8 months

OP posts:
Wishitsnows · 19/02/2021 10:51

So he's the expert that just watches from the sidelines and doesn't do it himself. Any reason if he is the one with experience he is opting out of parenting and leaving it to you with his only input of criticism? Sounds completely normal what you are your baby are doing. Don't let him make you doubt yourself or you capabilities

InDreamland · 19/02/2021 10:53

Yes, my 12 month old makes loads of mess. Babies make mess, it's the law and I think why they're so cute ..........so you can't get annoyed with them, my DD makes me laugh when she gets really messy just because she looks so cute. I just have a really cheap shower curtain under the highchair and I swear by using a Bibado, makes clearing up so much easier. It's great your LO wants to be involved in feeding themselves. Remember all babies are different so some like being spoon fed, some like preloaded spoons they can feed themselves and others just want to get stuck right into the plate/bowl. Your DP is being a dick comparing and making you feel like you're doing something wrong - it's downright disrespectful.

reluctantbrit · 19/02/2021 10:55

A friend had to shut the dog out of the kitchen during mealtimes, he got too used to eating food dropped on the floor.

Pasta and curry was only served just before bathtime.

We spoonfed yoghurt and cereals but otherwise DD either ate with her hands or she had a cake fork. She had a full upper body bib and often ate in nappy only in Summer.

The only child I know who was always clean was a boy who hated getting sticky hands or even touching wet food, he is a teen and will only eat dry cereals, food is not allowed to touch each other etc.

SaucyHorse · 19/02/2021 10:57

Babies + food = disgusting. This is a fact. It was one of my least favourite things about having babies. Some people seem to like it. But whether you like it or hate it, it is an unavoidable part of the years long process of learning to eat like a civilised human. Your husband obviously has a very selective memory or he never actually looked after his first baby just like he's not looking after this one. Ask his ex-wife, I bet you will get a VERY different story.

My 5 year old still needs her face thoroughly wiped after eating anything involving sauce, although thank goodness she rarely drops food all down her front and on the floor any more. Rarely, not never.

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