To ask what was the most awkward/inappropriate gift you have ever received?

[Idontlikecheesecake]

Mine was for my 15th birthday from my brother. He got me 3 pairs of underwear in different colours, they had a picture of lips embroidered on them and the middle of said lips cut out, and underneath they said ‘kiss me’

I never wore them. Never will. Ever.

Completely inappropriate for a 15 year old or from a relative. I must have gone red when I opened the wrapping. My brother is autistic and has mild learning disabilities though, so maybe he hadn’t picked up that this would not be appropriate.

What is everyone else’s?

A beautiful set of Beatrix Potter hardback books.

From my fiancé. I was 27 at the time

A cheap 20 page baking book from MIL, with;

"Darling (MIL name),
Happy birthday!
Love Patricia

Written inside. They were both in the room when I opened it at Christmas

Ex DH family make a very big deal at Christmas where EVERYONE buys for EVERYONE. I'm talking cousins and the lot. Massive pain in the area as well as hugely expensive.

The last time I did it I put together hampers for all of his cousins (don't ask why it was my job, I was clearly an idiot). Really nice I thought with glasses, champagne and chocolates etc.

I then received a novelty corkscrew in return from one couple. I was 6 months pregnant at the time.

Refused to do it after that and was made to feel so awkward.

First birthday pressie from DH when we were "courting" way back in1997. A CD Walkman in the most battered and tattiest "original" box that had been taped shut with masking tape.
Had quite obviously been pulled from the back of his wardrobe, dusted off and re-gifted to me. I was gutted, was expecting flowers, jewelry, choccies etc. The last 24 years haven't really gotten any better 🤣🤣🤣 He still denies it was 2nd hand to this day. Arsehole. 🥰🥰

My mil regifted me the presents that we’d given to her, two years running. I didn’t mention the first year, but did the second year.

Her response? “I thought you’d really like them seeing as you bought them in the first place”

DP & I had a massive, massive, MASSIVE row over messaging one night - potentially relationship ending. It was one of those that came out of nowhere. I messaged him the next morning, and said 'look, come round, let's talk this through, it's easier in person.'
He arrived the next morning, at the same time as the postman was trying to deliver a box. I opened the front door to find them vaguely scuffling over the parcel. Very crisply said to DP 'It's addressed to ME' and took it out of his hands.
'Yes, but I ordered it for you as a surprise, before we argued, so it might not be appropriate now...'
Opened it. Three different sex toys, and lube.
I couldn't stop laughing, and donked him on the head with a massage wand, which eased the tension somewhat

A vibrator from my sister on my 18th birthday, opened it in front of other people, so embarrassing.

Ex DP sister got me a set of gollywog money boxes...We were both mid 30s and this was about 15 years ago so they were DEFINITELY not ok. Literally didn't know what to say so I sad nothing. Which I'm kind of pissed off with myself for now tbh. Whole family were fucking weird and ex is ex for a reason...

A skin coloured pink jumper covered in round bobbles which reminded me of nipples from my really awful sister in law as I breastfeed my first child on demand that Christmas- only increased my loathing of her abc of course I didn’t even try it on.

A few

But the one that stands out and probably always will, I received a branded watch from sibling (we dont get on) it was too small and the packaging was unusual enough to create curiosity, as to why that packaging (wrong time of year)

It was a boys watch. I was able to work out not only that, but who the original intended recipient had been, why he hadn't received it and that it had to have been in a cupboard for at least 4 years.

I might add here that I was expected to (and made) a contribution to a very expensive watch for siblings landmark birthday.

Sibling is a horror in general and I utterly despise them, this incident may seem petty but is only a very minor piece in a much bigger problem

This was a bit callous but heyho. I got one of the girls in my old job a bar of Jesus soap (along with a cpl of other bits n bobs) from one of those novelty shops that appear out of nowhere at Christmas that had on the box "to help wash away your sins" as a secret Santa. She really thought she was something and everyone knew she was shagging 3/4 of our delivery drivers behind her hubbys back. When we came back after Christmas she'd said her hubby was fuming and had been asking her what she had been doing to be sinning. He knew. (Sorry Paula if Ur reading this.)

Thanks OP life is a crap here at the moment, but this thread is making me laugh hard. Very interesting that so many are from Xdp or Xmil
I have a few, but I'll post them tomorrow

@sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea - I can just picture that, hilarious.

A rubber mini skirt from my best friend's very lecherous husband.

I don’t read novels, and my ex MIL knows this. We are still in touch because of the children, and always got on fine. Still do.
One birthday, when I was around 7 months pregnant, she bought me 50 Shades of Grey when it was all the rage. WTAF? It was going in the bin, until I told my friend about it and she asked that I pass it on to her Mum who wanted to read it but was too embarrassed to buy it I asked to have it back when she had read it and I snuck it into ex MILs bookcase where it sits very obviously to this day I hope the ladies from the WI have noticed when the come round for afternoon tea with naice ham sandwiches.

Aww through underwear from my male boss

See through even!

I'm surprised the number of coworkers buying sexual gifts

A pair of very fucking twee fluffy Primark boot slippers (obviously intended for early teens - I was 48) in a size 6 from my partner's mother. I'm a size 8. He looked at me, I looked at him and said 'what do you expect me to do? They are 2 sizes too small, I can't fucking wear them!'

I ended up binning them the next day. She's as cheap as fuck, that was actually a step up from the usual pound shop crap she gives as presents. Someone needs to tell her that even though she's Scottish, she doesn't need to live up to the cliche...