AIBU to expect my husband to be able to make a cuppa the way that I like it?

[hermionieweasley]

We have been married for nearly two years, together for six, friends for eleven. AIBU to expect him to know how I like my cup of tea?
I like it the PROPER way - fresh water in kettle, tea bag in mug, water poured on as it's just boiled, wait 27 seconds (my childhood friend told me this when I was about six and have always done it lol), and then stir in two sugars and a dash of milk. Perfection.

Instead, I get watery milky horrible cups of tea, and never off his own back, only if I badger him for a cup. I caught him yday putting the milk in before the tea bag or the water

YABU for the 27 seconds. It's 3 minutes.

27 seconds?!! That's nowhere near enough time for a decent brew!

The proper way of making tea: boil the kettle. In the time it takes to do that, put 3 scoops of loose tea into a large infuser and place in the teapot. Pour boiled water, about 98°C, into the teapot and leave for 3-7 minutes. Put milk in your cup. After the tea has brewed, swish the infuser around a few times and remove from the pot before pouring the tea into the cup and stir. Cover the teapot with a tea cosy and top up your cup as required.

No watery, wazzy shite in our house.

Yabu- the PROPER way is to put the tea bag in, then the water, add a wee bit of milk and then bash the shit out of the tea bag until it reaches the best tea colour.
Too much milk and its ruined!

Does he drink tea himself?

YANBU
I can’t believe that your DH has such a flagrant disregard for your tea-making protocols.

YABU for having sugar in tea.

YANBU for expecting your husband to be able to make you a cup of tea how you want it.

YABU to only wait 27 seconds but you YANBU to expect him to make it how you like it. Mine doesn't drink tea so I gave him a detailed lesson and taught him to time it for 3 minutes on the Alexa so it's perfect every time. Is it a bit neurotic? Yes. Is it worth it? Also yes.

YANBU OP. I have had this same conversation with my DH a few times. I would always make the effort to make his tea how he likes it but he didn't do the same for me. It's just basic courtesy to at least try to make it how someone wants surely? After a few chats, he now dies it 😊 Having said that my requirements are not as specific as yours lol! I just like mine weak with a tiny splash of mil.

“ I caught him yday putting the milk in before the tea bag or the water”
This is grounds for divorce, if not for murder.

I think he's trying to stop you drinking the muck you are referring to as tea. 27 seconds, an outrage.

My MIL drinks the worst tea ever. Earl Grey teabag in the mug, pour in boiling water. Then remove teabag almost immediately without squeezing it. One sweetener and a healthy splash of milk. Quite how she drinks that watered down milk concoction is beyond me, but I make it like that because that's how she enjoys it.

YANBU to expect your DH to make your tea to your taste. YABU for only brewing it for 27 seconds though!

27 seconds? That's not tea, it's coloured water. Tea has to brew for minimum of 3 minutes.

27 seconds and I squidge the tea bag against the side the whole time.

Off to make a cup now and will leave tea bag in for three mins. Not convinced though

I’ve been with DH for 20 years and he still can’t make a good brew.

He thinks water from the hot tap is right, then he puts the milk in with the tea bag before adding the water, then he mushes the bag with a spoon instead of letting it infuse 🤮

It’s a miracle I’m still with him.

The most important question: is it Yorkshire Tea? If it’s anything else - yabu. There isn’t even an aibu question if it’s not Yorkshire tea.

Yes to Yorkshire Tea.

I'm sorry to tell you all you've been wasting two and a half minutes every time you make a cuppa. 3 minutes and no squishing of tea bags is the same taste as 27 seconds of frantic squishing

Don't squeeze the teabag. It releases the tannins that make it bitter. Leave it for 3+ minutes and just take it out.

The issue for me is how come I can't make my coffee the way I like it but DH can. Although that does mean that he makes most of my drinks so maybe its a good thing.

The correct way to make a cup of tea. Many swears, be warned.

My partner is fussy about his tea, (don't squeeze and brew 4 min) yet sloppy about mine. (No milk before teabag!)

There's no point doing it all a specific way when you're just going to turn it into a cup of syrup anyway. Sugar in tea is rank.

I love a cup of tea and feel great disappointment at anything sub par but I'm in agreement with others that 27 seconds in a mug with sugar not the way to make a proper cup. I love my small metal teapot, enough for two people but usually just a lovely big cup all to myself.
DH always makes it how I like it, I would do the same for him.

I would recommend you all watch a video on YouTube call ‘how the British make tea’. It’s a good laugh.
An American putting water in a mug, putting mug in microwave, then putting milk in water and THEN putting teabag in.
What in the world..... shocking.

Mine takes at LEAST 15 mins to make any sort of hot drink.

The other day I was lying in bed with the cat sleeping on me, so he promised to make me a cup of coffee. Almost 20 mins later, I ended up getting up (moving said sleeping cat!!!) to finish making it myself. Turns out he thought the coffee should brew in the cafetière for at least 10 mins before pouring!

I've made him promise next time he will just bring me the cafetière and mug and I will pour it myself once it's been brewed. Apparently I'm being fussy! (For the record I make him a lot more hot drinks than he makes for me... it's not like I'm constantly expecting him to wait upon me!)