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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so fed up with life and overwhelmed and tired or do I just need to get a grip?

53 replies

Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:02

It all started 3 weeks ago, our 16mo had a cough, I told nursery, he had to get tested got back in the next day.

On Monday of the following week he got very poorly, his temperature started to spike (beyond 41 degrees) went to A&E eventually for better a week later.

The following week his nursery shuts down due to an outbreak.

I haven't been to get out much. My employers have told me that I should work part time but even then it's impossible.

Yesterday my smear test results came back and they're positive.

I lost my cool over no cereal left. I've been crying and shouting and screaming all day.
My DP is no help and his boss refuses to get any time off so he can help me (but he's ok with forloughing him for his other children and home school them when needed).

I literally have no help at all. I'm expected to look after the house and a screaming baby and work. Even my dog can't make me smile. My cat is asking for food and to top it all I got somehow some sort of needle pricking my finger randomly. I'm just so done with life.

Also forgot to add my car had no battery and my toilet broke down last week.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/02/2021 18:04

What do you mean about the needle?
That all sounds shit. You'll cope because there is no choice (though your dh should help!) but you're allowed to feel overwhelmed and have a cry xx

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:05

That's the needle :(

To be so fed up with life and overwhelmed and tired or do I just need to get a grip?
OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:05

Again

To be so fed up with life and overwhelmed and tired or do I just need to get a grip?
OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/02/2021 18:06

Where on earth has that come from

Sirzy · 16/02/2021 18:08

Tomorrow phone in sick, then get onto your Gp to get signed off for a few weeks.

Tell your DH what you have just told us.

Focus on the important things, do what is needed to keep you and the children safe and happy and don’t worry about extra cleaning or anything.

Look after yourself

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:09

No idea it was on my trousers :/

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:10

At some point I could cope anymore and had to take the screaming baby to the lounge and I then I started screaming out of frustration, there are times during the day that I simply can't cope anymore

OP posts:
Onedaysomedaynowadays · 16/02/2021 18:10

Bless you, sending a hug. Such bad times at the moment ❤️

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:17

Thank you. My older daughter cried and got scared when I had my breakdown. I don't like that either of my children have to see any of this.

OP posts:
MistleTOEboughski · 16/02/2021 18:23

That all sounds awful OP I am not surprised you are upset. I think you need to call in sick to work and talk to the GP about getting signed off with stress for a few weeks. Tell your D P you expect him to help out when he is home.

MistleTOEboughski · 16/02/2021 18:25

Also my toilet is broken at the moment and we have to flush it with a bucket f water so fellow feeling about that! It's so annoying.

Perpetualheadache · 16/02/2021 18:27

If that random needle came from outside your home then you should get a tetanus jab.

I'm not surprised you're stressed out. Try and be kind to yourself, you're going through it right now.

Sirzy · 16/02/2021 18:28

There is nothing wrong with making sure both children are somewhere safe and then taking yourself off to count to a 100/scream/cry/down a block of chocolate.

As cheesy as it may sound the airplane oxygen mask analogy works well you can’t look after others unless you look after yourself first

Pineapples3 · 16/02/2021 18:32

Get signed off OP, you can’t go on like this. Not having to work won’t solved all your problems but it will hopefully minimise the stress.

Don’t put pressure on yourself to entertain the kids 24/7 either. There’s nothing wrong with a day indoors where they just play with their toys whilst mummy mentally recharged. You need that.

I hope you’re all ok regarding the smear test results, I’m sure all will be fine.

Remember, this too shall pass Flowers

Windchangeface · 16/02/2021 18:32

It’s lockdown OP

Fwiw I’ve sobbed uncontrollably pretty much every day for over a week now. I’m feeling so trapped, miserable and isolated. I have a 1yo and am 6 months pregnant.

It’s shit.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 18:35

I just want to be able to work in peace, as much as I find it insufferable at times, O had found my pace. And running I was back doing long distance running.i feel so trapped

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 16/02/2021 19:05

Does your DP have a job where he can't take time off? Key worker etc?

Or is he just using it as an excuse? In which case, his job doesn't trump yours. He needs to cover 2 1/2 days of childcare each week. If he can't work while looking after DC, perhaps he can use A/L for a while. After that he could ask to drop to PT hours.

Everyone else is having to make sacrifices with their job. No reason he gets out of it just by having a penis.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 19:17

No he doesn't, he has a manufacturing/fixing type job. He's used all of is AL. I think his boss sees it that he's been super flexible with forloughing for homeschooling, but I'm the one who's paying the price at the moment

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 22:23

Well he basically told me to get a grip, that he understands how I feel but there's nothing he can do apart from getting up earlier and doing the dishes. Blargh

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 16/02/2021 22:34

Do you mean he was furloughed during the first lockdown, but isn't now?

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 23:29

No he has been forloughed this lockdown for homeschooling reasons

OP posts:
Original poster
Fressia123 · 17/02/2021 07:36

Well it's a new day. Not feeling much better. I feel like as always MH is still a taboo. He admitted that his boss wouldn't blink of he said ai had the flu and needed help with the baby, I don't think this is much different. I'm concerned about how today will.go but there's not a lot I can do. There isn't much I can do about anything and I think that's what really gets me. Also, it should have been obvious but my MH definitely went down hilly ever since I.moved to the UK.

OP posts:
Needsmustnow · 17/02/2021 07:49

OP why don't you get signed off sick for a week? And why doesn't DP tell his work that "you're sick" and he needs to take the day off to get childcare arranged (and then he could take the next day off).

MordredsOrrery · 17/02/2021 07:54

So he's home all day on furlough, homeschooling, but you're still trying to work and take care of the baby? Does he think furlough for homeschooling means that's all he's allowed to do? What does he actually do at the moment on furlough - does he help with the baby or the house?

Absolutely see your GP for support - your MH really does matter. Good luck Flowers

MajorMujer · 17/02/2021 07:54

Please see your GP .