To think that most children are only friends with their own sex?

[YaYaWoahWoahYaYa]

I was reading a thread about SS schools and one of the negatives brought up was that children that go to them will never get a chance to be friends with the opposite sex.

My DD19 and DD14 are at a mixed sex school almost exclusively friends with girls, with DD17 having one male friend who was always bullied by the boys for being 'gay' and so has stuck with the girls since primary. Both insist that it is unusual for boys and girls to be friends, there's lots of relationships but they message on social media until the point of 'going out', and even then barely speak in school.

My DS15 does have female friends, but he doesn't speak to them in school (pre pandemic) and they are the girlfriends of his friends, so it matches up to what DDs say. He also agrees it's not really the norm.

We aren't in area where it might be taboo due to culture/religion. There's no state single sex schools in the county. The only separate lesson is/was PE.

Is this the norm everywhere? I had quite a few male friends as a child but even so I remember it being because they lived on my street, we didn't really speak at school either!

Based on my own experience, I had loads of friends of both sex and so did most of my friends. I went to a ss school but met up with the boys after school who I knew from various activities. Not it a gf/bf way, in a fun muck about the park way.

Not the norm for my DD. She started Year 7 last September and the first friend she made was a lovely boy who is sat next to her. She is v unconfident and he has been so supportive and kind. She also had a mix of female and male friends at her primary school. I think it is better to have a choice personally. She is not a Tom boy but she is not a girly girl either.

My daughter had a sleepover for her tenth birthday with her four best friends. All boys... She said they are just easier than the girls. She's now at a SS high school so has had to make friends with girls. But her two best friends there are like here, not into make-up or clothes...

I went to a ss school, I way preferred it as I think I would have been more shy and less vocal in lessons if I went to a mixed sex school. I had a big group of girl and boy friends and was friends with boys all through school! However i would also say that I work in a mixed secondary school and I would say there are lots of girl and boy mixed groups, they don’t just hang out with their own sex at lunch!

we all generally stuck to single sex friendships yes, maybe it changed in high school.
the boys were just the naughty ones making it difficult during lessons so I think I would have preferred a ss school.

I personally only had female friends in primary and secondary until 6th form, where I made some male friends too. My brother and sister were both part of more mixed groups. Outside of school I did ballet and guides both of which were almost/exclusively female, so no chance to make male friends then either.

Yes, yabu IMO, as you have extrapolated from your children's behaviour.

Mine all have friends of both sexes.

I'm honestly surprised to hear that it's so unusual! I wonder why it's ended up this way here?

I was part of a mixed sex group of friends at school. Both my DC have friends of both sexes.

Every child is different. In every class I've taught (ks2), there are always a few that much prefer the company of the opposite sex, like your dd's male friend.

Class culture can also be very variable. Some can be very split between boys and girls, but one class I taught had no real divide at all, and others might have groups of boys and groups of girls but also mixed groups.

Nah I dont find that at all. I was probably friends with more boys at primary school and an even mix at secondary. My best mates in life now are females from uni but my best mates and the only ones I keep in touch with from secondary are males.

My 3 year old has two 'best friends' from pre school, one of each.

True for my boys. Though lockdown has been great as he discovered a shared interest in a creative online game that a girl from his primary old plays and they have been playing it together. Also he has been in school and he has paired up with a girl as he said she is sensible and gets on with it unlike some of the boys lol

Meh. I dunno. I had friends of both sexes in school. My son is almost exclusively friends with boys, my daughter has a mixed friend group and my youngest loves everyone

Friends of both sexes at school and at uni.

One of my boys has always had female friends, some of his best mates in nursery and reception were girls, and he's still part of a friendship group now that contains a lot of those same kids - girls and boys. New members have accrued over the years, they're very close-knit and there doesn't seem to be any distinction between the girls and the boys.

My other boy is a typical lad's lad, total fashion victim (hair, trainers, overpriced bloody puffer jackets) and his mates are all boys. They do have girls in their social circle, at parties etc, but there seems to be much more of an "opposite sex" vibe and his day-to-day mates are "his boys".

I had lots of girl friends who would come to my house and sleep over etc. But I also had quite a few friends who were boys especially nearing towards GCSE and A-level age that I would chat to at School and hang out with. Definitely very close friends who were boys when we were in sixth form and smaller classes. Many of these sixth form boys I used to meet at local pubs when old enough and i am still friends with them now and I'm 42 and married with 2 children!

I think DC mostly have friends of the same sex, but definitely not exclusively. In my DD's friendship group she has 2 boys, 4-5 girls, but in all honesty she's been in touch more with the girls in lockdown. Probably varies based on age, kids' interests etc.

Yes, I think that's pretty common, and IIRC from my child psychology course it's a documented thing.

From my own memory, younger kids will play pretty indiscriminately, once you get to about grade 2 or 3 they tend to separate themselves and that carries on through middle school - they may have some romantic interests at that age but it's a bit abstract. Middle school girls and boys are often not in the same place mentally, anyway.

That's not to say there are never any friendships, especially kids who maybe live close or are often thrown together, but it's less common.

In high school I think there can be more friendship between the sexes, especially when they find they share a common interest like music or a hobby. But often there is still a tendency to have more same sex friends, or a big mixed group but within that boys and girls will sometimes separate out.

It seems to be true at my dcs mixed primary. You most seem to see groups of girls or boys.
My dd was good friends with a boy and a girl for a while but he eventually went off and played with boys more as they moved up the school and now her and the other girl are best friends. She has other girls at school she is friends with too. There are boys she likes as well but she doesn't ask to hang out with them after school or anything.
My ds who is 8 seems to get a lot of attention from girls who like him but he doesn't seem at all interested and just plays with his little gang of boys.

Up until year 10/11 of school I was friends with females. Once I was 15/16 I had a group of friends made up of both male and female. They all regularly slept over my house etc, qe went on camping trips etc. Now I don't have any male friends, only my friends husbands. Wasn't a subconscious thing, I guess I just found my people.

I had friends of both sexes.DS is only 4 but his best friend is a girl, hes also friends with various other boys & girls.

DS1 is 19. When he was younger his close friends were boys, but around 15 his close group of friends was very mixed. For the past 2 years his best friend has been female.
Youngest DS is 10. He has 2 best friends 1 male, 1 female and he has always had male and female friends.

My 9 year old daughter has mixed friendship group but her best friend is a girl. My 8 year old has a big mix of friends mainly girls but her best friend is a boy and has been since she was three. My 6 year old is best friends of girl but is happy to run around with boys at lunch. I think it just depends on personality