To think that most children are only friends with their own sex?

[YaYaWoahWoahYaYa]

I was reading a thread about SS schools and one of the negatives brought up was that children that go to them will never get a chance to be friends with the opposite sex.

My DD19 and DD14 are at a mixed sex school almost exclusively friends with girls, with DD17 having one male friend who was always bullied by the boys for being 'gay' and so has stuck with the girls since primary. Both insist that it is unusual for boys and girls to be friends, there's lots of relationships but they message on social media until the point of 'going out', and even then barely speak in school.

My DS15 does have female friends, but he doesn't speak to them in school (pre pandemic) and they are the girlfriends of his friends, so it matches up to what DDs say. He also agrees it's not really the norm.

We aren't in area where it might be taboo due to culture/religion. There's no state single sex schools in the county. The only separate lesson is/was PE.

Is this the norm everywhere? I had quite a few male friends as a child but even so I remember it being because they lived on my street, we didn't really speak at school either!

At primary I had a very mixed friendship group. At secondary my main friendship group was all girls, but there were plenty of boys who I was friendly with. In college my group became more mixed again, but partly because people's boyfriends became part of our group.

My DD is 8 and her best friends are girls but she does play with some of the boys sometimes and gets on with them all. My DS is 13 and his best friend is a girl. His other 2 closest friends - one is a boy and one is a girl.

I went to a mixed grammar for sixth form in NI after 14 years all girls and was surprised at how segregated it was! Whilst boys and girls socialised at the weekend, it was very much girls sitting with girls and boys with boys at lunch and in class as well to an extent. The only mixed group at lunch was the stoners under the stairs. I made all my guy friends outside school at church, and outside clubs. Whilst some might have gone to the same school, we didn't really speak that much. It was genuinely a little bit strange. My much younger brother is at the same school now and seems to be similar to the extent when one child started identifying as a girl they completely swapped friendship groups.

At primary school it was a complete mix and at secondary a mix tending more heavily towards same sex.

From my experience, sexes mixed to a degree at primary, though most groups were either boy heavy or girl heavy. Once puberty hit, it became more split, and for a few years if anyone so much as talked to someone of the opposit sex there would be giggling and accusations of going out. From about 13/14 people started actually going out, and everyone started mixing again. Then by 6th form everyone seemed to drop the sex segregation all together, and most groups were about 50/50.

I had/have a mix of sexes with a bit of a preference for the opposite sex, and my DS seems to be the same way so far. I was never part of a group of girls, although since becoming a mother it's drifted more that way.

My DH has mostly male friends, particularly a group that has been tight since school.

It just depends on the person

My children's closest friends are the same sex but they all hang out in bigger mixed sex groups. They are all at a mixed sex comp if this makes any difference?

My wider friendship groups at later secondary school were about a 50/50 split. Boys and girls got on really well. Studying sciences I was frequently either the only girl in the class, or in the clear minority.

In Yrs 11,12,13 I also had 2 best friends who were boys and they are still my best friends 20 years later. I also still work in quite a male-dominated professional environment and just feel very comfortable around men.

DD is 11 and her friendship group currently is all girls, though when she was younger she was in a group where she was the only girl with 4 boys! (She currently thinks all boys are horrible though.) DS is in the infants and is in a very boy dominated friendship group, but he does have one good female friend.

I have two sons who both have predominantly female friendship groups or have at various times. Both heterosexual.

My 17 year old has a female best friend as well as a girlfriend.

Pretty much a boy/girl split throughout my school career.

DS1 has had quite a few friends who are girls since he was year 6 - now aged 17 and his group of mates is about 20 and probably at least a third of those are girls

DS2 is in year 7 (12) and currently thinks girls smell and are annoying...

Interesting thread.

I have always had a mix of male and female friends. There was a time in the late primary early secondary school where boys were gross, but I grew out of that. It was also a time where I was bullied loads. Dh has equal numbers of male and female friends too.

I have 2 sons. Ds10 has Sen, is at an Sen school and has both male and female friends, although his choice tends to err towards girls.

DS6 has solely male friends and has done since he was 3. He has always loved cars, dinosaurs etc. He is currently in a key worker class at school with 3 girls and 3 boys and it's nice that they are all playing together.

Both of my girls have always had close friends who are boys. One of our feeder schools is single sex and I could never have sent my two there because I think they get a lot out of their friendships with boys. I went to a single sex school myself and for a long time wasn’t that comfortable around boys/men.

My older 2 are girls (19&17) and have more male friends. Much less hassle. They have a group of girl friends but they prefer being with the boys.

My 14 year old has a girl best mate and a boy best mate. They've all been besties since reception class. She's a tom boy.

I went to a mixed secondary, and had mixed friends. I preferred hanging our t with the boys though, girls just wanted to talk about makeup, and I was heavily into sport

My 2 eldest sons had best friends who were girls until they turned 8 or 9 then all of the boys stayed together more and the girls too but there was still a great mix in the class. I'm gutted we didn't get into our secondary of choice, while I love their school it's single sex and I honestly think they're missing out, I think girls will turn into a big thing because they're not around very often

True for my kids, my kids only
Plays with children the same sex as them but this is primary school say secondary may be different but I was only really friends with girls in secondary school

In secondary school absolutely my only friends were girls but much more mixed in 6th form college. At 6th form you could immediately identify the girls who had been at the local girls private school because they had no idea how to talk to boys, they thought they were an entirely alien species

I went to a mixed secondary and had a mixed group of friends, inevitably some dated, but lots of boy girl friendships. My best friend is male and we've been good friends since primary school

Both my boys (reception and Yr 8) have good friends of both sexes and although both definitely have more boy friends they have some really great female close friends
Probably helps that they go to mixed schools and also a mixed scout troop.

My ex's son is one of the only teens I know well and he's had a mixed groups of friends and close platonic friendships with girls since early secondary - and he goes to an all boys school. All boys schools are common in the area that he lives in though

Not my experience, nor that of my (now adult) dc.
I have 1 ds and 2dds. All went to mixed Primary school. All went to single sex Yrs 7 - 11 and then to mixed 6th forms. All have been involved in hobbies throughout their lives.
All had mixed friendship groups at Primary.
Yrs 7 - 11 school friends were obviously the same sex as each of them, but they have all also had friends from hobbies, of both sexes.
6th form, all 3 or them have friends of both sexes.
University - all 3 have friends of both sexes.

I also went to an all girls' school so my friends from school are obviously all girls, but then as a young adult, slightly more of my friends were lads. Genuine platonic friendships, some of whom I am still friends with 35 yrs later.

I must raise unusual children then OP. Both of my DSs (now 23 & 19) had female friends at school & my 9 year old DD certainly plays with boys.

I went to an all girl's school, nearly 20 years after I left I'm still really close friends with 5 boys from the nearby boys school and around the same number of girls. I was always the connector between the two schools in our extended friendship group because I knew them both equally.