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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When you were young..

96 replies

Bingiswhiney · 15/02/2021 20:20

What did you expect your life to be like when you ‘Grew up?’
Has it surpassed your expectations or let you down?

OP posts:
StarsShiningUpAboveYou · 16/02/2021 19:50

I had no expectations other than I'd be adult in poverty, just like I was a child.

I am now a Wife, a mother, a home owner in a lovely beautiful area, my job isn't so bad and I have savings. I'm quite proud of myself.

MillyMinamino · 16/02/2021 19:58

I wanted to be married to a nice man, have two children and live next door to my parents, and be a doctor.

DH has far surpassed the 'nice man' expectation as he is utterly wonderful (and handsome). My two children bring me much more boredom and frustration and drudgery than expected but also masses more joy and happiness. My parents live 3 hours away and I miss them dreadfully but I adore my house and the town I have settled in.
I'm between careers but I'll never be a doctor. School-aged me would be disappointed by my career progression and wouldn't have believed I'd become a SAHM (very academic at school).

RosesAndHellebores · 16/02/2021 19:59

I was going yo marry a Dr at about 24. I wanted a nice 4 bedroomed detached and my own run around car. I expected to be a housewife with two children.

Started work in the City aged 20. Did quite well and bought my own house in London. Married DH at 31 and had 8 years at home with DC then started 2nd career.

It turned out to be beyond my dreams. I think the work stuff was the biggest surprise because I just didn't expect to love it as much or be good at it. I wasn't much good at anything at school.

Armi · 16/02/2021 20:22

I wanted to be famous and wondered how my parents could stand to be so boring.

I am not famous. And I get excited when the Lakeland catalogue is delivered, so I think I’m pretty boring myself.

73kittycat73 · 16/02/2021 20:59

I used to cry at the thought of growing up. Probably because I didn't want to turn out like my (Abusive) step/parent.

Wrenna · 16/02/2021 21:10

I really had no real expectations. I was horribly bullied for a good bit of my school years until high school, and had a difficult father. Because of these my choice of boyfriends/male relationships were poor. When I was 27 I needed chemotherapy for a year and was told it might make me sterile.

Fast forward seven years from then, I met and married dh at 36, we were able to have a child who is 19 now and in University. Two years ago I got laid off at my (dead end but good hours) job, and then started my even better hours job working as a student aid assistant distributing clothing and essentials to needy students. Life has definitely exceeded my expectations!

Whatapalavaa · 16/02/2021 21:36

I thought I'd get an excellent job, partner, house, travel and be enjoying life. Didnt expect to achieve a lot of that yet still struggle with life so much and actively wish to be dead everyday from my mid 20s.

Skysblue · 16/02/2021 22:48

I couldn’t imagine getting married, I liked the idea but couldn’t imagine that there was a boy out there ‘for me’ - who I’d click with. I thought I’d be an actress then travel a lot. But I did think that if I ever met someone and got married it would be to someone very spiritual and gentle and we’d adore each other forever.

Am a housewife to a workaholic alpha male who is neither spiritual or gentle and I am not at all sure we’ll adore each other forever 🤔

52andblue · 16/02/2021 22:56

I just wanted to be safe.
I'm not, yet.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 16/02/2021 22:57

I’m still hoping to do something creative one day. That I can become good enough to make a living out of one of my creative hobbies.
Meanwhile I do a job I hate (mostly stuck in office in normal times) just to pay the bills and I earn decent money. Which at least I get to spend on my hobbies I suppose.

52andblue · 16/02/2021 22:58

sorry that sounds a bit drama llama-ish!
I was not safe as a child. I don't feel particularly safe now.
I wonder if I ever will.
I used to think, if I ever look up at a plane and don't wish I was on it, I will know I'm happy. I've not got to that stage yet (though I live rurally and rarely see planes so I can't dwell on this too much!)

Chimeraforce · 16/02/2021 23:03

I never expected anything but I had hoped to leave my hideous home town.

honeylulu · 16/02/2021 23:07

I was going to be a beauty queen or a ballerina, get married to someone very rich, live in a mansion with lots of Siamese cats and peacocks walking in the garden. I would be very famous as the v worst thing I feared was having a "boring" life. I didn't want children as that was what boring people did.

Well I'm not beautiful or graceful so I ended up being a solicitor, married an accountant, one boy, one girl, no mansion, no peacocks, just a semi in commuterville. I love my boring life.

Dilbertian · 16/02/2021 23:15

I thought it would parallel my childhood: based in London but travel and live in different countries, bringing my children up with multiple languages.

I live in a naice Home Counties town, with a dh who speaks only English and our children each have one MFL at GCSE. We have never been abroad for even as long as 3 weeks.

Whysolong7 · 16/02/2021 23:23

Better than expected. Despite hope and hard work there was a time thing looked really sad and grim for a long time. Then suddenly clicked into place. Better and luckier than I hoped.

JerichoGirl · 16/02/2021 23:26

@Chimeraforce

I never expected anything but I had hoped to leave my hideous home town.
And did you?
Wond3rment · 16/02/2021 23:30

Up to age 7 or so I was quite confident that I would have a flying car as an adult. I’m still pretty gutted that this is not an option. My kids think it’s hilarious, particularly what they perceive as my lack of understanding of air traffic control needed to manage such a concept.

Up about age 10 or 11 I wanted to be a newsreader on National TV, I idolised one particular newsreader but was fascinated by all. I can remember all their names, what they looked like and any specific terminology they used, over 35 years later. It didn’t happen.

At about 15 I wanted to be a stockbroker (late eighties, it was such a cool career - well, in the movies I watched). It didn’t happen.

Throughout my childhood, teens and early adulthood I assumed I would have my parents life. SAHM married to successful, wealthy husband. It didn’t happen.

Instead, I drive a traditional car (on a road) in a job that I didn’t even imagine would exist when I was young in an industry I need thought I would be interested in. I work FT, am really good at it and enjoy it plus I get well paid. I am the breadwinner for the family. Married to a wonderful man, the very best man for me in fact. Two healthy, gorgeous children and a home that I love.

I am blessed to say my expectations were simply different to my reality.

GeidiPrimes · 16/02/2021 23:37

I expected iterally nothing - abusive parents so it was just a case of getting through one day to the next in varying states of FFFF. I was very depressed as a child so there wasn't much looking forward. Since I've taken steps to address my poor mental health I have been able to think about the future, and it definitely looks better than my past.

ValidUser · 16/02/2021 23:43

I wanted to be a surgeon and get married/have a nice partner and have loads of children.

I ended up in a very different medical specialty, married to a wonderful man and have one child on the way in a few weeks (following IVF, but I'm 31 so we'll hopefully try again). We also have a pile of lovely cats.

Life is good. Absolutely can't wait to meet our son.

ChristmasSexyTime · 16/02/2021 23:54

Definitely surpassed my own expectations.

I hoped for husband and children by late 20s (didn't happen) and didn't have many career goals. In fact, I was a tearaway teen so nobody expected much from me on that score.

But I ended up famous and travelling the world Shock. I've had more than my fair share of good luck and have enjoyed some truly incredible experiences. True story, and surprised me as much as anybody. On the back of that, I'm pretty happy with where I landed up and I don't feel like I've wasted any time.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 16/02/2021 23:59

I have everything I ever wanted. I'm very lucky. I hope so much things are always so good.

CorianderBee · 17/02/2021 00:02

I'm pretty much where I thought I'd be and happy for it.

I did think I'd be thinner and prettier though.

oil0W0lio · 17/02/2021 00:08

I wanted to be in pan's People
Didn't happen🤷🏼‍♀️

Milkshake7489 · 17/02/2021 00:38

When I was very little I truly believed I had hidden magical powers and was really a witch... sadly that never came true.

As a teen I believed I was incredibly ugly and worried that I'd never fall in love, get married, or have children. I met my now husband at university and we are happily married with a baby now Smile.

I wish I could tell that awkward teen that of course someone would love me (and he happens to be the best person I have ever met!).

Milkshake7489 · 17/02/2021 00:44

Oh and I always planned to live somewhere much more exciting than my boring home town Grin.

I did, but I came back and tbh I can't imagine living anywhere else. There's a lot to be said for living close to family and being right in the thick of a city sounds far too noisy now!