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AIBU?

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Original poster

Downstairs neighbours’ kid - constant noise!

32 replies

CatherineHale · 15/02/2021 17:02

Hi all,

I’m at my wits end and am wondering if I could get advice and/or genuinely ask if I am being unreasonable?!

I live in a house in SW London. On a terraced street. The house is split into two flats. Downstairs have a two year old. We all get on fine.

The two year old often wakes up in the middle of the night. Fair enough. That’s normal. However; he uses his scooter indoors and one of those cars that kids can fit in/drive with their feet - and it sometimes starts from 6am. He goes through phases of playing with the scooter/car so I let that noise go.

The running; however; usually starts at 7am and ends at 7:30pm. He’s not at nursery at the moment (regardless - it’s like this on weekends). I’ve been WFH since the pandemic started. I only leave the house unless I have to go to my lab (I work in medical research).

Usually; people complain about their UPSTAIRS neighbours; I’m aware. I’ve asked if they can ever hear me - to which their response was: ‘You are quiet as a mouse!’ Now fair enough; my flat is bigger and occupies two floors. They have a ground floor and LG floor (which is used at storage space). Their toddler thumps/runs relentlessly. To the point the whole house shakes. I can hear him over my shower, kettle, AirPods (including work calls). I’ve asked if they can put some mats/rugs down - which I offered to pay for. Their response to that was: ‘I mean, the house wasn’t really built to be two flats so maybe that’s why the sound travels!’ I’ve moved my workspace to the very top floor, but the house still shakes. I don’t play any music/instruments - and I have an elderly couple next door as well as a young family on the other side of me - so I’m very paranoid about disturbing people.

However; the people downstairs don’t seem to share that view. They once texted me saying they were about to be playing games indoors and it would be loud. Followed by another text saying: “LOL!” As the child is becoming more and more mobile; the running/sound just intensifies. This has been going on for far too long now and my work/sleep is suffering as the vibration can be ‘felt’ over headphones. I think they think they don’t need to worry as no one is below them - since they have the ground floor. I’ve asked them to come up whilst he is running - to which they claim they only saw my text a few hours later. When I’ve gone downstairs; they don’t answer the door. I’m on the verge of tears - and I’m the most stoic person on the planet!

I get that they are WFH too and it’s hard with a toddler, but the noise is all day/every day. I’m permanently living with my headphones in and it still doesn’t help!

OP posts:
Original poster
CatherineHale · 15/02/2021 17:03

(Think I may have posted twice. Sorry!)

OP posts:
JackieBeaver · 15/02/2021 17:12

Is there any chance you're over exaggerating this? sorry... just not sure a 2 year old could shake a house, be louder than AirPods and a shower

Are you sure you're not just hyper irritated with it? I live with 3 kids and it's a nightmare. I've had to master zoning out. I certainly can't hear them over my AirPods or when I've got my Alexa playing

Either way, at the moment the toddler has nowhere else to go, I think you just need to hang on until March, they're not going to be able to stop him/her blowing off steam in his/her own home. Sorry

LakieLady · 15/02/2021 17:14

I don't think you're BU. Things like scooters and pedal cars are really only suitable for outdoor use unless you live in a detached house imo.

JackieBeaver · 15/02/2021 17:15

Sorry just to add... be thankful you don't live with a two year old during lockdown... can you imagine? I'm so pleased I don't have a toddler right now and feel sorry for anyone who does, especially those in a flat, it must be so hard for them

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/02/2021 17:15

They sound like arseholes.

BluebellsGreenbells · 15/02/2021 17:15

Can you look at soundproofing the floor between you?

Original poster
CatherineHale · 15/02/2021 17:17

@JackieBeaver You are totally right for asking. I don’t blame you at all. I am seriously not exaggerating. Hence why I asked them to come up themselves so they could see that I was wasn’t being hyper sensitive. I’m London born and raised and have lived around noise forever. This is just unreal. I can’t quite believe it myself.

OP posts:
yvanka · 15/02/2021 17:17

be thankful you don't live with a two year old during lockdown

The OP has not chosen to have a child, therefore should not have to put up with this level of noise from one.

YourWurstNightmare · 15/02/2021 17:18

I'd move, OP. They aren't even pretending to care, so no point in trying to reason with them.

Happycat1212 · 15/02/2021 17:19

I had this but the opposite. I live in a 3 bed maisonette but it has a single one bed flat above. In moved a family of FIVE in a one bed flat. Wow the noise was unbearable, and they allowed their kids to ride up and down on day on scooters (or something with wheels who knows) but it was wheels riding back and fourth all day, they must have laminate up their because the noise was horrendous

JackieBeaver · 15/02/2021 17:20

@yvanka

be thankful you don't live with a two year old during lockdown

The OP has not chosen to have a child, therefore should not have to put up with this level of noise from one.

The neighbours probably wouldn't choose to live in a flat with a toddler.

I don't think anyone is the wrong, the neighbours are annoying to the op but the neighbours sound like they have a normal toddler and are stuck in the house because lockdown

Original poster
CatherineHale · 15/02/2021 17:24

@JackieBeaver

They might not have CHOSEN to live in a flat with a toddler - but here we are. That’s the reality of the situation- which I fully accept. However; as the level of noise/vibrations in relentless; it’s causing a massive problem. I’m trying to alleviate the problem by asking if there’s anything they can do about it. Even at a (literal) cost to myself; so that we can make a tough situation (for everyone) a little bit easier.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatherineHale · 15/02/2021 17:26

I understand that there’s always to be noise - especially with a toddler. More so with a toddler in lockdown. I think the LEVEL of noise is unbearable. Hence AirPods Pro. Hence me moving my workstation. Hence offering to pay for rugs/foam mats. Hence asking them to come upstairs and listen for themselves.

OP posts:
PinkyParrot · 15/02/2021 17:28

What a nightmare - I think living in a house which has been divided into flats is not the same as living in a building that is flats.
And the age of the house will affect it too. Builders would assume that everyone was downstairs during the day and sleeping upstairs at night. So lack of insulation didn't matter.
Also wooden floors probably affect it.
School starts on 8 March - won't he be out of the house much of the time then - if you can last that long? And if the weather improves child might be out more anyway.

fairydust11 · 15/02/2021 17:29

I honestly think you need to move. There isn’t anything anyone can say or do on here that you haven’t already considered. You either a, put up with it, b, Speak to them & they may be considerate for possibly a week & revert back, or c, move. I would go with the latter. You want to feel relaxed in your home and it sounds like this is making you feel on edge, therefore do what’s best for you and find somewhere else. Good luck

PinkyParrot · 15/02/2021 17:29

Can you use a white noise - some sort of vibrating noise maker to drown out the child's noise - that would be more ignorable than random running and cycling.

Original poster
CatherineHale · 15/02/2021 17:30

@PinkyParrot I agree. You are right on all points. I’ve been holding my tongue for a long while now. I think it’s more that it is relentless - and their ‘defence’ is simply to say that ‘because it’s a house that wasn’t meant to be two flats’ - there’s nothing they can do about the constant noise.

OP posts:
ramarama · 15/02/2021 17:32

God. Up until you said 'two year old' I was sure you were my upstairs neighbour!
For what it's worth OP, it's not acceptable for them to act like that. I now have a text relationship with upstairs tenants and they text me if something specific is bothering them (only ever a bathroom fan left on) and I apologise. I dont' think it's my right to annoy ppl without kids

CharlesDickensHairyBalls · 15/02/2021 17:33

Have you tried being specific? "Your child is noisy and disturbing me" is too vague (if accurate) and hard to actually address. "I make calls from 9-11 in the morning so would it be possible to avoid noisy play" or "the noise is worst when your child is in x room" - if you can be specific about times, locations etc then maybe it will be easier to find solutions and compromises. Do you have carpets or hardwood floors? Could you say that you'll carpet if they do? I think in scenarios like this it helps to frame the problem in terms of issues that can actually be tackled, rather than just "the child is noisy". Getting a 2 year old deprived of most of the normal outlets for play and getting tired out to listen and be quiet is probably going to be really challenging even for parents who are hyper aware of the noise their kids are making.

Sweettea1 · 15/02/2021 17:40

Ask your landlord to sound proof the flat. Or Investigate as to how a 2 year can make a house shake. Not sure how you hear child over the shower tho my dc stands outside the bathroom door shouting to me and I can barely hear her. Record the noise then send it to neighbour so she knows exactly what you can hear.

HadaVerde · 15/02/2021 17:54

What do you think they should/could do to address this issue.

user1471538283 · 15/02/2021 17:57

This sounds horrendous. Do either of you rent? If you own you could look at soundproofing the floors? Could you possibly move?

In my experience the council are next to useless but it might work for you?

I get that it's hard having a toddler in alot so they need to take him to a park to scoot around. It's hard for you as you have to work.

Your neighbours do not care and they know they are noisy. Noisy neighbours are awful and destroy your peace of mind.

TheCatThatGotTheCream · 15/02/2021 18:01

I'd be playing them at their own game, relentless noise/thumping at unreasonable hours. Then, when they come to complain, you can work out an amicable agreement/compromise on noise between the two of you.

blue25 · 15/02/2021 18:03

Sounds awful. I think you need to be more assertive with your neighbours. Explain again now much this is affecting you.

I couldn’t live with that amount of noise-it’s so inconsiderate.

user1471538283 · 15/02/2021 18:07

I like the cut of your gib @thecatthatgotthecream! Often noisy people are themselves very sensitive to noise! My friends ex neighbours played loud music all day into the night of the first lockdown however would get very cross if she did the garden!