Downstairs neighbours’ kid - constant noise!

[CatherineHale]

Hi all,

I’m at my wits end and am wondering if I could get advice and/or genuinely ask if I am being unreasonable?!

I live in a house in SW London. On a terraced street. The house is split into two flats. Downstairs have a two year old. We all get on fine.

The two year old often wakes up in the middle of the night. Fair enough. That’s normal. However; he uses his scooter indoors and one of those cars that kids can fit in/drive with their feet - and it sometimes starts from 6am. He goes through phases of playing with the scooter/car so I let that noise go.

The running; however; usually starts at 7am and ends at 7:30pm. He’s not at nursery at the moment (regardless - it’s like this on weekends). I’ve been WFH since the pandemic started. I only leave the house unless I have to go to my lab (I work in medical research).

Usually; people complain about their UPSTAIRS neighbours; I’m aware. I’ve asked if they can ever hear me - to which their response was: ‘You are quiet as a mouse!’ Now fair enough; my flat is bigger and occupies two floors. They have a ground floor and LG floor (which is used at storage space). Their toddler thumps/runs relentlessly. To the point the whole house shakes. I can hear him over my shower, kettle, AirPods (including work calls). I’ve asked if they can put some mats/rugs down - which I offered to pay for. Their response to that was: ‘I mean, the house wasn’t really built to be two flats so maybe that’s why the sound travels!’ I’ve moved my workspace to the very top floor, but the house still shakes. I don’t play any music/instruments - and I have an elderly couple next door as well as a young family on the other side of me - so I’m very paranoid about disturbing people.

However; the people downstairs don’t seem to share that view. They once texted me saying they were about to be playing games indoors and it would be loud. Followed by another text saying: “LOL!” As the child is becoming more and more mobile; the running/sound just intensifies. This has been going on for far too long now and my work/sleep is suffering as the vibration can be ‘felt’ over headphones. I think they think they don’t need to worry as no one is below them - since they have the ground floor. I’ve asked them to come up whilst he is running - to which they claim they only saw my text a few hours later. When I’ve gone downstairs; they don’t answer the door. I’m on the verge of tears - and I’m the most stoic person on the planet!

I get that they are WFH too and it’s hard with a toddler, but the noise is all day/every day. I’m permanently living with my headphones in and it still doesn’t help!

I don't really have any advice but a lot of sympathy. I live below a family who have 3 kids in a 2 bedroom (god knows how that works) and hard floors. They have been known to make the light fixtures shake and it would just be constant running up and down the length of the flat. When I went to talk to them about it, the mum made me talk to her kids because they 'don't listen to her'. And when I said it was upsetting the dog she threatened her own kids with setting my dog on them it was beyond weird but it has eased off since I spoke to them... Get a fierce looking dog?

Oh I really feel for you, op. This would stress me out. I think when you live in a flat, you really need to be extra conscious of the noise your family may make.

I say this as a parent of a 2 year old who lives in a semi detached house with unbelievably thin walls. I'm paranoid at the thought that ds might disturb next door unnecessarily and would be horrified if my neighbours spoke to me about noise.

Also, why anyone would think that letting a kid play with outdoor toys inside when you've got neighbours in close proximity is acceptable is beyond me.

I really feel you on this. To people questioning if a 2 yo can really make the house shake, I had no idea it would be possible until I experienced it myself.

The man upstairs takes care of his partners toddler two or three a week. I realise it’s above us but we don’t hear:

1. The man walking around generally
2. The man + his partner walking around generally
3. The man working out (he asked us if the noise bothers us and we had no idea it was happening)
4. We didn’t hear him move in or build any furniture which we know he did as we saw all the IKEA boxes

But boy oh boy do we hear that toddler. It’s a nightmare when we realise it’s a childminding day as he must just run laps around the flat with concrete shoes on. We haven’t said anything because I’m sure the little boy doesn’t want to be stuck inside but wow, I had no idea how loud one small child can be!

@CatherineHale

I understand that there’s always to be noise - especially with a toddler. More so with a toddler in lockdown. I think the LEVEL of noise is unbearable. Hence AirPods Pro. Hence me moving my workstation. Hence offering to pay for rugs/foam mats. Hence asking them to come upstairs and listen for themselves.

You sound on the bloody edge - I get you! I cant bear this sort of non stop noise from others

Could you soundproof your floor? I know it will be expensive but even just one room maybe?

(((((hugs)))))

Honestly I'd start making grown up noise around bedtime if they really won't play ball.

You've been extremely reasonable, and their little darling doesn't need to be making that much noise. They sound like the kind of parents who give everyone else a bad name because they only care about their kid.

I thinks it’s unreasonable they’ve avoided speaking to you about the noise or ways to address it.

At the same time I cant imagine there really is too much that can be done about the two year old making noise.

So glad I live in a house.... my kids would drive neighbours loopy in a flat.