To be irritated by the UK-centric assumptions on here

[saraclara]

Many posters here seem blissfully ignorant of the fact that the internet is a worldwide thing. Yes, this site is based in the UK, but that should be as far as it goes. Clearly there's somewhat of a UK focus which is fine up to a point. But...

Every second thread seems to end up with someone in the covid police trying to threadjack it because a hapless poster from a country that's not in lockdown, posts about being on holiday/vacation or visiting relatives, or doing something else that's not allowed here at the moment. Why do the threadjackers assume that everyone on here is British?

Seriously, the insularity here is really weird. I've not seen it on any other forum. I belong to two based in the US, but no-one assumes that posters on them must all be American.

@Chicchicchicchiclana

"I start with the assumption that every poster on here is a mother based in the U.K."

I genuinely don't understand why you would assume this. Why do you?

Of course you know why she might assume that. Because it is a site called Mumsnet - mothers - and based in the UK - UK. Now making that assumption may or may not be the correct thing to do given the site has somewhat transcended its original remit, but if you don't understand why someone might make that assumption, based on the name and the location....well, I can't understand how you don't understand.

@Squirrelblanket

I use a lot of different forums and I definitely find the US based ones assume users are US based. It doesn't bother me. 🤷‍♀️

Same. I don't think it's a big deal.

@Kettledodger

Why is it on the majority to ascertain where a poster is rather than the poster just quickly mentioning it in their post

Most of the time it's not remotely relevant.

One recent that springs to mind is a poster who was out for a drink with her boss.

The poster was looking for advice about a situation that had occurred. It didn't matter if she was in Australia, France, Outer Mongolia or Birmingham. It was also blatant that she wasn't in England by the fact she said "I was in the hotel bar with my boss last night..." when English hotel bars were closed.

It didn't need half a dozen self-rigteous twats demanding to know where she was or troll hunting on the basis that "everywhere" is shut. Most of the time the where is totally irrelevant.

(That one was particularly special thanks to the poster who stated that the laws in that country were "irrelevant" and the poster shouldn't have been in the bar because of the pandemic)

@changingmine I know it's the majority because it is a British site talking British culture eg NHS, schooling, politics etc etc. I am not being insular at all I think that maybe you are being just a tad facetious

The site is active at night but I think that's because a fair proportion, probably the majority, of users are mums. I've been on a few 'why are you awake' threads and the answers are usually baby woke me up, worried about DH who's gone into hospital, toothache, that sort of thing, as opposed to everyone being from a different time zone.

@StanfordPines
I start with the assumption that every poster on here is a mother based in the U.K.
Its not always the case and it often isn’t relevant but sometimes it is.
I’m not a mother and often this isn’t important on here so I don’t often mention it

It's not an assumption I make anymore. What annoys me:

• the periodic threads from posters (usually with a username like mummabear) asking why there are women without children on MN
• the brow beating of any user who has a slightly unusual writing style (sometimes because English is their second language)

MNHQ have reiterated countless times that this website is very much not just for mothers so what point are you trying to take a stab at?

I don't have children, but assume i'm in the minority given the site is largely about parenting, and that's how many find it. I've commented on posts in the past and included the fact I'm not a parent as it seems relevant to the discussion.

Like I said, if twats didn't try to trip up posters and use England-centric rules to "catch them out" it wouldn't be a problem!

Maybe they should call the site EnglishMumsnet that way 'outsiders' will really know their place. :)

I don't live in the UK.

I have previously been firmly told that I am not entitled to have an opinion or comment on how lockdown is where I live because I don't pay taxes in the UK.

Funnily enough, I haven't been able to find that particular rule in the T&Cs.

Also mumsnet isn't just for mothers, but that doesn't mean that isn't predominantly mums who use it.

I understand there is a gransnet and I think a dadsnet website too.

MumsNet of course is not just for British mums as all others are welcome but would you join an online sports or food and drink community etc if you have no interest nor link etc etc.

I live in Scotland for us half term was last week, today is in service and online school starts again tomorrow, although this is a UK site I don't expect posters to know all scottish half term holiday dates, however it is also annoying when people assume I must be lying as their kids half term starts on 22nd or whatever

It’s lovely that people internationally enjoy the site and bring their perspectives and insights. It’s a little presumptuous to assume that people in a UK based parenting site wouldn’t have a UK perspective.
The English view predominates within the YK due to demographics. Population:
England 56m
Scotland 5.5m
Wales 3m
Northern Ireland 2m

When a poster points out that things are running differently outside of England, it’s always interesting and good to consider, but I find, as an immigrant here, that the commonalities are greater than the differences. Though everyone likes to indulge in the narcissism of small differences from time to time.

It's uk centred though, there is diversity in age, sex, races, cultures, class, I'm not sure what else you'd want tbh.

[quote Cassilis]@StanfordPines
I start with the assumption that every poster on here is a mother based in the U.K.
Its not always the case and it often isn’t relevant but sometimes it is.
I’m not a mother and often this isn’t important on here so I don’t often mention it

It's not an assumption I make anymore. What annoys me:

• the periodic threads from posters (usually with a username like mummabear) asking why there are women without children on MN
• the brow beating of any user who has a slightly unusual writing style (sometimes because English is their second language)[/quote]

I’m not a mother myself and I get fed up with explaining why I am here but if a poster says something like ‘which house should I buy’ or ‘I had an affair with my boss’, it is reasonable to assume that the poster is in the uk, a parent and a woman. Her having children will make a difference to the house purchase for example. There have be a couple of times when I have asked for advice about things where I have pointed out that I don’t have children and therefore that doesn’t need to be taken into account when giving advice on the house I should buy or how to deal with the affair.

Funny because I’m in a few forum groups
Marketed as worldwide that are very US-centric and they can never understand other viewpoints or recognise that other people may be using these forums too.

Maybe people are just insular all over the world? To be honest I find the UK centric discussion a pleasant break from relentless creeping americana

@StanfordPines agreed, but I think those posters get very short shrift on MN!

My point is that this is the only forum I know that considers itself to have a nationality

Then I’m sorry you have an extremely limited view or experience of the internet.

It’s not ‘insular’ to make an assumption that if a person hasn’t mentioned the country they live in, that it’s probably the UK as this is a UK site. Reddit will always have a US focus, Weibo Chinese. It’s just the way things work? If it’s relevant to the conversation - which it is if we’re talking about governmental advice around Covid - then the person should make sure they’re clear they’re not in the UK in their OP.

MumsNet of course is not just for British mums as all others are welcome but would you join an online sports or food and drink community etc if you have no interest nor link etc etc.

And here's another one! MN is not just about mums, there are lots of boards for everyone.

@42goingon90

Americans are definitely the worst for not realising they are not the only country.

This.

Everybody also assumes that users are female, unless they state otherwise - not that the decent blokes on here do make a big point of shouting ^MAN HERE!!!!* unless it's relevant to the point of discussion (or obvious from the content). It's not just for mums, or female non-mums; but that is the vast majority on here - and of them, the vast majority are British.

I think that, unless you're being goady or deliberately unkind, there's nothing wrong with assuming that the user is probably one of the vast majority - and then, if they point it out (they may not want/bother to or think it really matters anyway), you adapt how you relate to them in any relevant matters.

Personally, I see a parallel with the idea of 'everybody must announce their pronouns at all times', when virtually everybody will go by the 'he' or 'she' that you assume/expect on meeting/knowing them. A trans or non-binary person just has to say "Oh, btw, my preferred pronouns are...." and then you make a mental note and respect that in your communications with or about them. The problem is in disrespecting, ignoring or discriminating against people who are in a minority - not in acknowledging that there are people in minority groups, who, oddly enough, will not correspond with certain aspects that the majority do!

Incidentally, there's a lot of talk on here of American and Aussies, but in my (very unscientific) experience, I'd say that the second largest nationality represented on MN by quite some distance are the Irish.

It’s not U.K. centric, but it is very English centric. Or if you want to be really picky SE/London centric! A lot of posters seems to live in a completely different world to me, and I’m in the U.K!

Off topic, I know AIBU gets a bad rap, but I'm always amazed at the number of people willing to give advice, give requested hand holds, and write looooong posts full of useful experiences that could help the OP.

MNers can be abrupt at times, but they seem to genuinely want to help, regardless of where the person is from.

Give over OP.

I'm not a mum! I also assume that most posters are or have been. That being the immediate nature of the site.

I'm also on a sewing forum and assume that everyone is form all the place but have sewing in common. Except for the non sewing sub fora, where anything and everything is discussed.

If people haven't got used to the ways that various internet spaces take on a character of their own then I would assume that they will be doomed to take offence daily!

Not what I want from posting but if it pleases you to be displeased...