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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by the UK-centric assumptions on here

373 replies

saraclara · 15/02/2021 14:26

Many posters here seem blissfully ignorant of the fact that the internet is a worldwide thing. Yes, this site is based in the UK, but that should be as far as it goes. Clearly there's somewhat of a UK focus which is fine up to a point. But...

Every second thread seems to end up with someone in the covid police trying to threadjack it because a hapless poster from a country that's not in lockdown, posts about being on holiday/vacation or visiting relatives, or doing something else that's not allowed here at the moment. Why do the threadjackers assume that everyone on here is British?

Seriously, the insularity here is really weird. I've not seen it on any other forum. I belong to two based in the US, but no-one assumes that posters on them must all be American.

OP posts:
FrickinA · 16/02/2021 08:07

I don’t assume everyone here is from the U.K. but it’s not going to stop me from posting about issues I have around lockdown in my U.K. town, or my experience with the NHS, or my kids education in a U.K. school to get the opinions of people who share these experiences.
Not once has someone come on to a post I’ve made to tell me that they don’t know because they’re in the USA and could I stop saying how fab the NHS is as they can access it...

FrickinA · 16/02/2021 08:08

Can’t

FrickinA · 16/02/2021 08:13

You mentioned using American sites - that’s why people have gone with American.
And I find it bizarre that someone from the U.K. and living in the U.K. should start a post about being annoyed that Mumsnet is U.K. centric!

chomalungma · 16/02/2021 08:16

Each poster that assumes that I'm American (and doesn't rtft) just underlines my point. Just as anyone in the world can post here, a Brit can post on US sites. Hooray for the WORLD WIDE web

True.

Do you think that a poster is asking about something and wants advice, then either the poster or the people who reply need to clarify which country they are talking about in their post?

Original poster
saraclara · 16/02/2021 08:16

@pictish

I went to the garden centre to buy a toaster. They didn’t have any. AIBU to complain?
Again missing the point.

I expect this board to be uk centric in its subject matter, in its advertising etc. The question I asked in the OP was about assumptions made of other posters. And as many have pointed out, many posters can't even come to terms with anyone possibly posting from one of the devolved nations, never mind somewhere 'foreign'.

It's really odd that so many posters are responding to an AIBU which isn't the one I asked.

OP posts:
pictish · 16/02/2021 08:18

I joined an online dog owners group to talk about knitting. They just kept posting about dogs. AIBU to give them a piece of mind?

Original poster
saraclara · 16/02/2021 08:19

@FrickinA

You mentioned using American sites - that’s why people have gone with American. And I find it bizarre that someone from the U.K. and living in the U.K. should start a post about being annoyed that Mumsnet is U.K. centric!
Sigh. Again, I did not post to complain that mumsnet is uk centric. I was making the point that posters seem to think that no-one who posts here can possibly be from/live anywhere else in the world. That's where the insularity is.
OP posts:
Original poster
saraclara · 16/02/2021 08:20

@pictish

I joined an online dog owners group to talk about knitting. They just kept posting about dogs. AIBU to give them a piece of mind?
Again, not a logical comparison.
OP posts:
Thedramasummer · 16/02/2021 08:20

I don’t think it’s too out there for people to assume the majority of people using it are Uk based.

I also think that some people on here are too eager to try and catch people out so don’t engage their brain.

Example, if someone post about going to a birthday party or a child going on a school trip chances are they are not in the uk, but certain posters just want to scream troll, or COVID in a gotcha moment.

pictish · 16/02/2021 08:21

No we can’t guess where people live. That’s correct. Wtf are you on about?

chomalungma · 16/02/2021 08:23

Sigh. Again, I did not post to complain that mumsnet is uk centric. I was making the point that posters seem to think that no-one who posts here can possibly be from/live anywhere else in the world. That's where the insularity is

I don't think that's true.

I think there's an assumption that a poster is most likely to be from the UK (and that's probably very true in the site usage) but I am sure that most posters recognise it's a world wide web with people contributing from around the world.

But most likely to be UK based mums. (and if you delve more into the stats, I am sure there are high chances of being from a certain area in the UK, a certain income level etc)

Original poster
saraclara · 16/02/2021 08:24

@pictish

No we can’t guess where people live. That’s correct. Wtf are you on about?
Also not logical. No-one is being asked to guess where people live. Just to consider that not everyone lives in the same place and under the same rules as oneself, before jumping on them.
OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2021 08:27

posters seem to think that no-one who posts here can possibly be from/live anywhere else in the world.

Which posters? I have never noticed a huge problem TBH.

Somebody a while ago came up with the idea of having a little flag of the country we were posting from next to our usernames but it was deemed not necessary.

chomalungma · 16/02/2021 08:28

Also not logical. No-one is being asked to guess where people live. Just to consider that not everyone lives in the same place and under the same rules as oneself, before jumping on them

So if someone is asking for advice for a good beach holiday where they don't have to fly or go by ferry, do you think that either the OP or the people replying need to clarify which country they are in?

StanfordPines · 16/02/2021 08:30

@douliket

I am not from the Uk and none of my friends who use this site are from the Uk either, I agree, a lot of posters don't see past their own nose
That may well be the case but if you were posting to ask about say the best shampoo, brand of nappy or a problem with a house purchase would you get all shitty if people gave you advice relating to U.K. brands and the English house buying process?
Original poster
saraclara · 16/02/2021 08:31

@FrickinA

I don’t assume everyone here is from the U.K. but it’s not going to stop me from posting about issues I have around lockdown in my U.K. town, or my experience with the NHS, or my kids education in a U.K. school to get the opinions of people who share these experiences. Not once has someone come on to a post I’ve made to tell me that they don’t know because they’re in the USA and could I stop saying how fab the NHS is as they can access it...
Again, of course we all post about UK life. It's where this site is based. And for what seems like the hundredth time, this is NOT what my OP is about. This site is part of the world wide web and is for parents anywhere, whether British living abroad, or others. And that should be considered before jumping on a poster for how they're living a life that seems incompatible with the present uk experience, or what they call their mother.
OP posts:
pictish · 16/02/2021 08:32

You’ve said.

I booked a table in a steakhouse. No one guessed I’m a vegetarian and everyone kept eating meat. Should I complain?

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2021 08:34

When you post on a forum you can't allow for all the possible places other posters might live.

Ginandplatonic · 16/02/2021 08:36

There’s a bit of a disingenuous, pretending not to understand different experiences thing on here sometimes. Typified by the rhotic/non-rhotic accent threads. Maybe it’s similar to that?

I always mention that I’m in Australia if it’s relevant, and have no problem doing that. Heads off some of the affected bafflement at the pass!

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 16/02/2021 08:36

Also not logical. No-one is being asked to guess where people live. Just to consider that not everyone lives in the same place and under the same rules as oneself, before jumping on them

Whilst I agree there posters sometimes pile on a poster before thinking, I do think if you are not in the UK you should mention that in your OP for context as people's responses will include advice or details which won't apply.
At the moment its also probably worth mentioning where in the UK you are as rules are often varying all across the country.

So, yes, posters do assume other posters are in the UK unless told otherwise. I agree with you but I don't think its a problem.

Crackerofdoom · 16/02/2021 08:38

I am Britiish but live outside of the UK. I feel it is necessary to preface a lot of my posts with that as a few times people have jumped on me for lying because whatever I have said wouldn't be the case in the UK.

Does sometimes make me feel like one of those twats at uni who started every sentence with "When I was on my gap year in Thailand" though Hmm

It is definitely a UK centric site but I don't see that as an issue. There doesn't seem to be many people on here using English as a second language and maybe we miss out because of that but that is more an Anglophone thing than a nationality thing.

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2021 08:39

When the CV Tier systems were introduced (in England) people were getting antsy because they couldn't quite work out whether posters were allowed to do something without asking which Tier they were in. Grin

Bluebelle41 · 16/02/2021 08:41

I think that your problem is really those posters who go in hard and are quite vicious and judgmental off the bat.

For most people, it’s not a problem to assume that a poster is based in the UK and then correct that assumption as needed. I think it’s the personality rather than the assumption that you truly have issues with.

killickthere · 16/02/2021 08:46

One of the many things I enjoy about MN is it's not fucking American

pictish · 16/02/2021 08:47

Some posters just put (not UK) after a statement. Totally works for me.
There’s no problem here.