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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your tips for sleeping in the living room

86 replies

Fressia123 · 15/02/2021 09:49

Posting here for traffic... Baby sleeps through the night when he sleeps on his own in the box room. EOW and every Friday his big brother sleeps in that room so our 15mo comes back to our room. He wakes up at 2-3 and there's no way to get him to go back sleep. Any tips for how to sleep in the living room as that seems the obvious answer?

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 15/02/2021 16:59

I remember your old thread about wanting to build an extension or a shed in the garden for extra sleeping space. You got lots of helpful suggestions on that thread but didn't think any of them would work.

Bluetrews25 · 15/02/2021 17:04

Try an experiment - see if DS can sleep in your room when you are not there. If he can't, then he will need to stay in his own room and you will need to either give up your own room for DSS - very noble of you - or DSS will need to use the living room as his bedroom. Not ideal, I know. But easier to fit a single mattress/chair bed than a double.
Was the box room DSS's before DS came along?

Deliaskis · 15/02/2021 17:20

On a practical note, if anyone is sleeping in the living room, yes to blackout blinds, for doors and windows, and also something to throw over any TV/DVD/wifi hub etc. That area behind our TV is lit up like Blackpool at night time. Literally a thick jumper over it does the trick.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 15/02/2021 17:26

@NameChange30 yes that's us! But the one who has issue with everything is my DP. He thinks that dividing rooms is stupid and gives two unusuable rooms and any more "structural" work is way too expensive and not worth it. As it is the reception room is big enough to be split into a small bedroom and a snug, but again DP doesn't like that idea. The other thought we had is to join our bedroom with the bathroom and use the utility area as an extra box room, but he still has issues with that option (mostly that nobody would buy a house without a bathtub).

We bought this house when both DSS and DS where already on this Earth obviously we just bought a house that was too small.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 15/02/2021 17:41

Well your DP sounds very annoying! Not helpful sorry Grin

Original poster
Fressia123 · 15/02/2021 17:48

He usually and absolutely lovable man but when it comes to how we can get that 4th bedroom he's a total headache!

OP posts:
christmasathomeagain · 15/02/2021 17:50

Im 9 and 12 years older than my j
Half brothers and for 6 months I shared a room with them. I was 16. They shared top bunk, I was on the bottom.

Dss and ds share a room. For a couple of nights a week they can manage.

user643289 · 15/02/2021 20:52

@Fressia123

It's not safe with a toddler and we won't sleep anyways
How is it unsafe?
OP posts:
Penistoe · 15/02/2021 21:36

It doesn’t take a genius to read through the lines of your post op. Yanbu you shouldn’t be moving he baby for dss. However dss does need somewhere to sleep.

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 15/02/2021 21:42

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4163460-My-bed-in-the-living-room-what-would-you-do

There were lots of suggestions for good beds/sofa beds on this thread.

KatharinaRosalie · 15/02/2021 21:49

again DP doesn't like that idea

He doesn't like any of the ideas, does it? What are his solutions?

MotherExtraordinaire · 15/02/2021 22:01

@Fressia123

Baby in living room would work as we use it until about 10 in the evening...
Is it a flat? Unless it was, I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my young child on a different floor tbh.

Is it only 4 nights a month ss stays? Do you only have a lounge or dining room too?

thelegohooverer · 15/02/2021 22:11

If you’re going to be regularly sleeping on a sofa bed I would look for one where the mattress is a single piece (rather than the ones where there are sections joined). They won’t have storage but if you got an ottoman coffee table you could keep a duvet and sheets in there.
Tuck the corners of the sheet over onto the duvet and fold it up. I’d go for a duck down duvet as it will squash up well but also be warm and cosy.
Maybe keep a big decorative basket there too so that you can fling all the bits in and return them to the bedroom afterwards.

I don’t have a dedicated guest room anymore. We have an IKEA corner sofa bed, with space for bedding. It’s ok for an odd night but I wouldn’t recommend it as a regular bed (we’re inclined to discourage guests Wink) but it’s handy to have everything already in the room.

Has your dh already rejected a moveable wall/sliding screen/folding door type of room divider? It would give you the flexibility you need without making the kind of change to the house that affects it’s resale value.

UndertheCedartree · 15/02/2021 22:14

I sleep in my living room sometimes. We have a sofa bed from Next. Just use normal bedding. I'm quite happy with a bit of natural light waking me. Surely it wouldn't be a problem in the winter. This issue is unlikely to last long so not sure it is worth making permanent changes for sleeping downstairs occasionally for a few months. Mine co-slept til age 4 anyway and had no sleep issues. But obviously your choice if you don't feel comfortable with that.

MilyMoo · 15/02/2021 22:19

The baby needs to keep the box room and you need to vacate your room for step son when he visits. The resident children need consistent routines to allow them to settle - as you have already pretty much identified. Yes step son needs to feel at home too, but that doesn't mean the other children should have to vacate their rooms and be disrupted in their own home too.

CorianderBee · 15/02/2021 22:23

Get a sofa bed in the living room and make the brother sleep in there

Original poster
Fressia123 · 15/02/2021 22:37

His best sokuty is to knock one but of a walk and put the baby in a room with no windows!

DP won't move gusSS to the ivungeoom and he wouldn't sleep invites

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 15/02/2021 23:39

I think you need to tell him your baby doesn’t go in a room with no windows and yes sleep in the living room, he’ll eventually realise that’s ridiculous. In the meantime tell him he gets the baby/toddler when they wake up as he’s the one refusing to get a 4th room.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 06:32

Sorry for the typos of the last one, it was that he won't move DSS to living room as he needs his own space.

OP posts:
user643289 · 16/02/2021 07:18

[quote Fressia123]www.cpsc.gov/content/cpsc-warns-against-placing-babies-in-adult-beds-study-finds-64-deaths-each-year-from[/quote]
You can safely bed share. Especially with a toddler.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 07:30

I don't feel comfortable about sharing beds it simply isn't safe, there's plenty of evidence around it. In any case is not ideal either in our own personal circumstances. I'd rather sleep on the floor than sharing a bed.

OP posts:
tinseloatcake · 16/02/2021 07:36

If you have more than one bathroom put the baby in there for now, in his cot. We always used to do this on hols.

Original poster
Fressia123 · 16/02/2021 07:39

Only one bathroom unfortunately.

OP posts:
MeanMrMustardSeed · 16/02/2021 07:40

I wouldn’t be sharing my bed with a toddler either - especially when 5 days a week they sleep in their own cot / room through the night. I’m not sure many people would.

Your DH sounds an absolute nightmare. He has 4 children and needs to house them adequately. Having 4 children is a big commitment and very expensive in terms of housing. What was his plan when his had his fourth?

I would ask him for his top three solutions in order of preference and work from there.

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