Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed up being a taxi service

38 replies

GloriaGrumfuttock · 14/02/2021 18:43

My neighbour expects me to take him shopping all the time. To be fair he does put a small amount of money towards the petrol, but what is irking me is taking him to a few supermarkets that I don't use but I have to wait at least half an hour in the car while he toodles around doing his shopping. After he's finished in the supermarket he'll often say can we just stop at such and such shop and I have to wait for him all over again. It feels like I'm wasting half of my life waiting for him to finish his shopping! He has no regard for my car and slams the doors really hard, he's left the door and windows open overnight when we've come back and I haven't checked all round the car. Once he managed to kick my hat out of the glove compartment and on to the street with his big feet. I managed to retrieve my lovely hat the next day from a puddle at the side of the road! He now tells me what day he expects me to go shopping! To be honest it's doing my head in, I prefer to drive alone and he does distract me and also patronises me with a well done when I park. The area is well served with buses and there is a T Express within walking distance. He also boasts that he can afford a car but chooses not to have one! Any ideas on how I can put it nicely but firmly that I don't want to drive him any more? Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
OneEpisode · 14/02/2021 18:46

This neighbour isn’t someone I’d waste my one and only bubble option on.

Persephoned · 14/02/2021 18:50

Tell him it doesn’t suit you any more to take him shopping.

If you can’t do that tell him you are going to isolate for 10 days and change your support bubble to someone else - then you can bubble with someone you want to spend time with!

Royalbloo · 14/02/2021 18:51

I don't know. If you've done it to be nice then why stop now? Seems a bit mean unless there is a reason. You don't do nice things just so people are never-endingly grateful. Why did you offer? Can you remind yourself of that?

TheBaroucheBox · 14/02/2021 18:52

Why can't he shop online?

GloriaGrumfuttock · 14/02/2021 18:56

I never did offer, he just assumed

OP posts:
littlepattilou · 14/02/2021 19:00

@GloriaGrumfuttock

It does kind of seem a little bit mean to stop now. But YANBU to be pissed off about it. I would NEVER be a regular 'taxi service' to someone with no transport. Not because I'm a tight arsed meanie, but because most people take the piss, and use you, and you spend half your free time ferrying people around, and waiting around for them...

I will help people in an emergency, but not as a 'regular' help. I have done it in the past, got stung a few times (when I was much more shy and quiet and found it hard to say no,) but no way would I offer my services now. Not for anyone. Not on a regular basis.

As I say, people take advantage, and take the piss.

Not much help, but just to say I do feel for you, and YANBU.

I have to ask though, why and how, did he 'assume' you would be a taxi service for him? Did he just hop in the passenger seat of your car when you were off up to the shops? How did he know you'd be going where he wanted to go? Confused

dogsaremypeople · 14/02/2021 19:02

Park your car around the corner and say it's in the garage.

Meowtha · 14/02/2021 19:08

Eh? Why are you giving him lifts at all?

Tell the rude cunt to feck off.

GloriaGrumfuttock · 14/02/2021 19:08

@littlepattilou He quizzes me constantly as to where I'm going, where I've been etc. He looks out for me coming back from any journey I make and is always hanging around the communal hall. Actually thinking about it, it's probably quite funny watching me tiptoe past his flat door so he doesn't catch me and make a run for it down to the car! But oh the bliss when I get in my car and get to drive off alone!

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 14/02/2021 19:15

Tell him your forming a bubble with someone else and dont to break the covid rules.

Meowtha · 14/02/2021 19:16

Tell him it's none of his business and you don't appreciate his constant questioning and poking his nose into your comings and going's.

Cherrysoup · 14/02/2021 19:21

Are you in the U.K.? Don’t want to assume. Is he old/vulnerable? Why are you still doing it if you don’t want to? Just tell him no and point out the nearest bus stop. He’s insane cheeky and now telling you what day he wants to go?! Madness.

Cherrysoup · 14/02/2021 19:23

If he’s hanging about when you get back from somewhere, just bust past to your door ‘Sorry, busy’ and zoom off. I have a neighbour who openly admits he watches us drive in and out. I apparently have ‘resting bitch face’ when he sees me, according to my DH. 🤣

littlepattilou · 14/02/2021 19:28

[quote GloriaGrumfuttock]@littlepattilou He quizzes me constantly as to where I'm going, where I've been etc. He looks out for me coming back from any journey I make and is always hanging around the communal hall. Actually thinking about it, it's probably quite funny watching me tiptoe past his flat door so he doesn't catch me and make a run for it down to the car! But oh the bliss when I get in my car and get to drive off alone![/quote]
Blimey Gloria, you do have my sympathy!!!

He sounds like a stalker.

Is it an option for you to leave your car at a mates? Or relatives? And get the bus or walk or cycle for a while (and tell him you don't have a car now!)

Mind you, he would resume his lift begging when you got it back!

What a conundrum.

Just being blunt and saying NO! No more lifts! is all you can do.

Easier said than done.

HUCKMUCK · 14/02/2021 19:35

If you’re happy to help him once a week then tell him you’re only going to x supermarket on x day and that’s it.

He’s not going to change, you have to be firm. Have a ‘script’ prepared and repeat until he gets the message.

If he asks for multiple stop offs just say ‘no I need to be home for x, I don’t have time to stop’

Howshouldibehave · 14/02/2021 19:37

Start getting an online shopping delivery and tell him you won’t be going out for shopping any more. He can get an online delivery for himself as well.

GloriaGrumfuttock · 14/02/2021 20:10

@littlepattilou You know I am beginning to wonder about the stalking bit. The other day I had gone down to my car to get my wellies out the boot (another lockdown jobbie) and he later mentioned in conversation mentioned about getting my wellies out of my car. Pre-lockdown if I went for a coffee at another neighbour's flat he'd go on about me having a boyfriend. This morning I passed a couple of neighbours in the hall and stopped to have a socially distanced chat. 5 mins in to the chat and he's standing behind me! I mentioned a while back that I'd probably go cycling when the weather improves and he's talking about where we'll both go!! Enough already!

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 14/02/2021 20:18

Just tell him no. Cheeky fucker using your car as he’s too cheap to sort his own. Just be firm and say no. He’ll need to get. Car once you stop being a doormat. I actually can’t understand how you haven’t put a stop to it bc and I’m the worst people pleaser on earth.

FabbyMagic · 14/02/2021 20:24

I was reading that assuming he was old and unable to get there himself somehow...but is that the case??

Meowtha · 14/02/2021 20:27

Jesus Christ, nip this in the bud now.

Yesmate · 14/02/2021 20:29

No is a complete sentence. Stop taking him.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 14/02/2021 20:31

Aaaargh. Would drive me mad.

BrilliantBetty · 14/02/2021 20:33

He sounds nuts.
Stop doing this now. Let him know that as of Friday (for example) you will be isolating and changing bubbles for the remainder of lockdown. You can't assist him anymore.

If you feel you need the excuse. Otherwise 'no, I'm unable to drive you any longer, you'll need to make alternative arrangements now'.

You've done a nice thing helping him all these times but it's not an obligation you have to take on.

IthinkIm · 14/02/2021 20:36

That doesn't work for me.

And repeat.

Dontbeme · 14/02/2021 20:41

Stop waiting for him, if he corners you for a lift tell him you will drop him but can't wait or collect him after, and fucking do it. Don't wait, don't drive to half a dozen different shops, tell him how much a lift is before you leave the house and get the money then, if he wants a taxi service charge him full taxi costs. He'll learn.

Swipe left for the next trending thread