Mom shaming needs to stop....

[Ltdannygreen]

More of a statement than an AIBU. mum shaming needs to stop. It’s daunting enough bringing a life into this world without getting shamed by people who think they are perfect parents. Newsflash no one is perfect. Babies don’t come holding an instruction manual when they are born. New parents especially learn as they go, you grow with your child. You learn from mistakes.
In my opinion mum shaming is usually a cover for thier own insecurities, it’s condescending, vicious and a form of mental abuse. Some people probably don’t realise they are doing it so in some cases it’s not what you say but the way you say it. I personally don’t pay attention to others opinions and March to the beat of my own drum, always have and always will but I’ve seen it with a few new mothers I know.

Why don't you or your children wear coats in the car?

Are you the poster who starts the won't someone think of the poor social media influencers threads?

When these mums go online promoting every price of crap and using their baby as a pay cheque they get everything they deserve. Don't tell us what a good mum you are if you don't want people to point out when ur not

@Butchyrestingface

Are you the poster who starts the won't someone think of the poor social media influencers threads?

Defo not... they are defo assholes. Social influencer or not jetting off on holiday in a pandemic is damn right selfish!

@PercyPug

Why don't you or your children wear coats in the car?

Winter coats make the seat belts fit incorrectly.

Step away from social media.

I mum shamed this mother for breastfeeding and driving at the same time. So sue me. Some mothers just do dangerous and reckless things and deserved to be shamed for it.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/peoplesdaily/article-3807556/Chinese-mother-caught-driving-BREASTFEEDING-one-year-old-child.html

Whether or not a comment or suggestion in considered “shaming” is often a case or perception.

Lots of people make stupid and dangerous decisions and it’s okay to say so.

I’ve mentioned on here before the weaning group I was on where a woman gave her 4 month old, who she knew was allergic to dairy, a bit of her chocolate bar then wondered why the baby was screaming in pain and covered in a rash. A lot of people were shocked she’d do something so ridiculously negligent but the number of her defenders responding “yeah, well we’re not all perfect, judgy bitches” was mind boggling. There’s clear blue water between being a judgy bitch and pointing out that there’s dairy in chocolate, 4 month olds don’t need solids, babies don’t need chocolate and just because a baby reaches for something doesn’t mean you should give it to them...

We all make mistakes, absolutely no one is perfect. But don’t be a fucking idiot and cause your child unnecessary pain by not engaging your brain. Don’t get all “they’re shaming me” when people point it out.

I agree that criticising women for benign choices is terrible and needs to stop. I do worry though at how much ‘mom enabling’ I see in some arenas. I joined a Facebook group for support with babies who have reflux and I had to leave it because so many of the posts involved women talking about how much better their babies slept on their front or their side. These posts would have reams of supportive comments from other mothers saying things along the lines of ‘you know your baby best’ and ‘Do what works for you’ and completely ignoring how dangerous and stupid the advice was. Any attempts to share safe sleep information were met with accusations of mom shaming, so I left the group because of how much stress it was causing. I don’t think that’s a great situation either.