To be planning another baby

[AndTheMillions]

My youngest was meant to be my last baby !
8 months old now......

Obviously conceived before covid. I had such big plans-groups to go to , going out with friends etc etc
Been stuck in. Bored and a bit down in some ways, in other ways it’s been nice but not as expected and there was a lot of stress around appts and birth etc.

So. I have decided to have another ‘last’ baby, to wait till maybe a year (as had a c section) and try again if Covid seems to be getting better if things not back to normal then maybe wait a bit longer and 🤞 covid improves things going back to normal and it can be how we planned, it’s not that i haven’t enjoyed this baby I have it’s just I don’t feel finished now if that makes sense ! But I worry it’s just a reaction to the whole pandemic but I do want another now... confusing feelings !!

I cannot fathom conceiving, carrying, birthing and raising a child, complete with rusks of pregnancy, risks of disability, all the teenage issues, the financial pressures, the sheer emotional and physical work.... just to feel “done” with baby groups or to have some kind of model maternity leave. It’s a fleeting period of months, mainly filled with sleep deprivation, crying, purée and nappies alongside the “coffee with friends” part versus decades of parenting. I went to various baby groups - they were fine, they filled the time, I improved my nursery rhyme repertoire. Yes, being in lockdown with a baby would mean missing out on that which would have made babyhood harder. Another baby wouldn’t change that though. You don’t get a “do over” of the last few months.

By all means have all the children you want that you can responsibly bring up (emotionally, physically, financially) but don’t do it so you can spend a few months having g coffee with friends. Or don’t have a baby, take a month off work, visit friends and have coffee together etc - much cheaper, none of the baby hassle, no 20 odd year commitment to a whole new person.