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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to change my ring after 3 years engaged?

75 replies

Alice818 · 14/02/2021 11:49

As the title says, we have been engaged for 3 years. Between one thing and another over the last couple of years, we have not got around to finalising any wedding plans. I have a pear shaped diamond ring, which is lovely, but is gets caught in absolutely EVERYTHING and nearly takes my finger with it sometimes when it catches in things. I've had it lowered (as it was originally quite high set) to try and stop it catching, but it's just a nightmare to be honest. I had thought that once we were married, I would maybe have it re-done and somehow make it more manageable to wear, or just take it off and wear only a wedding band, but a wedding looks a long way off now with restrictions etc.
I feel guilty as I'm the one who wanted this style of ring, but had no idea how impractical it would be.
AIBU to want to sell it and get something else?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

LaBellySausage · 14/02/2021 13:02

Another vote for just turning it round the other way!

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/02/2021 13:04

I would have it set as a necklace and have an engagement necklace I stead.

hashbrownsandwich · 14/02/2021 13:05

I have a pear shaped and I would imagine it's very similar to yours. I now wear it 'upside down' with my wedding band sitting underneath the pointed part of the pear. Admittedly there's still about a 4mm gap between the wedding band and the bottom of the diamond setting. It does catch but not like it would the other way up.

justlonelystars · 14/02/2021 13:05

This is mine - it has a little cap on the point which softens it

To want to change my ring after 3 years engaged?

Keeva2017 · 14/02/2021 13:05

Beautiful ring @Alice818 I have a pear shaped engagement ring but it’s set much lower and do very occasionally have difficulty with it. (I’m also into a 3 year + engagement so ignore the thinly veiled judgement from the pp, life gets in the way sometimes and each to their own).

Personally I would keep the ring and bring it out for special occasion and get something personal but lower cost for everyday use. Maybe something vintage or your birth stone or something you get on a trip with your partner so that it means something rather than it just be a second ring.

LaBellySausage · 14/02/2021 13:06

If turning doesn't work I second the necklace idea. You could get an eternity ring once you're married maybe, to go with the wedding band?

dottiedodah · 14/02/2021 13:07

I would research carefully Jewellers in your area and read the reviews.A friend had a ring which was sold as 18 ct gold but turned black after a short while! Maybe as above PP say they can refashion it for you .Can you maybe get a different style of ring as they may be easier to wear .A friendship ring or eternity band maybe?

BlueTimes · 14/02/2021 13:07

I’d look at getting it made into a necklace and getting a new engagement ring. I wouldn’t sell it because the amount you will get back will be minimal and I would imagine the original ring/stone has sentimental reasons.

Or you could just spend more than you would on a wedding ring and get one that is more like an eternity ring so you can wear it as both engagement and wedding combined?

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 14/02/2021 13:08

That's gorgeous. I know what you mean about it being a pain in the arse though, it's not at all practical. I think your best bet is to ask a jeweller for ideas. Maybe an independent who does commissions or something. Good luck

TallTowerFan · 14/02/2021 13:13

@Atalune here it is.

JustCallMeBrittany · 14/02/2021 13:21

Beautiful ring OP. I don't know how much getting that converted into a pendant would be, that would be lovely.
If it is difficult to wear then you might as well change it but I would bring it to a jewellers as soon as face to face is possible, or indeed back to where you bought it originally and see can they offer a solution to modify it slightly? I am sure this is not the first time that they would have encountered this issue?

littlepattilou · 14/02/2021 13:30

@Alice818 YANBU. I would either keep it (and maybe get it made into a necklace,) OR try and sell it and get a different one.

Weirdly, it doesn't look (to me) like a ring that would keep getting caught.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

RestingPandaFace · 14/02/2021 13:45

Try it the other way around as said above, if that doesn’t help I would look at getting the point of the halo softened as it looks quite sharp, a good independent jeweller might be able to soften that point off without making too many other changes.

LittleLottieChaos · 14/02/2021 14:03

If you need any recommendations on jewellers drop me a DM. I work in the industry. It does look impracticality pointy... but pretty, perhaps still a little high set still too... a further redesign, or you could see about part exchanging it? Or try selling at auction and then using the £££ to find something new.

MrsBobDylan · 14/02/2021 14:05

I would put that ring aside for when you can afford to have it made into a pendant or keep it as a cocktail ring for special occasions.

Then you should have a look at secondhand diamond rings. My rings are all bezel/rub over settings and never catch on anything. I do a manual job and don't have to take them off!

Thehop · 14/02/2021 14:07

Turn it round and wear the point towards you?

angel0071987 · 14/02/2021 15:33

What about changing it to a necklace and then getting a new ring

noblegreenk · 14/02/2021 15:37

My recommendation would be to have the stone completely reset/redesigned. Maybe in a bezel setting which would soften the sharp corner and prevent it catching on things.

DinoHat · 14/02/2021 15:40

I have quite a big, statement diamond set high amongst a trio for my engagement ring and it’s always getting caught. I just wear my wedding band now day to day.

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 14/02/2021 15:42

I had my original engagement ring reset into a new ring along with the stones from MIL ring too.

Most of the cost was the work it involved. So I paid £2500, but if I was to buy a similar ring it would have cost £1250. Resale value of the ring is half that again at £725.

So you could reset it, but it is costly, and I would probably only do it if you are sentimental.

You could sell it, but you are unlikely to get what it's worth.

Or you could just buy a new one.

Tryingtogetitright · 14/02/2021 15:50

Beautiful ring but I agree that your engagement ring should be comfy!

My friend's the jeweler at www.oaklandjewellery.co.uk and is amazing at redesigning jewellery - may be worth contacting her?

GladAllOver · 14/02/2021 15:51

Just thread it onto a chain and wear it as a pendant. I've seen rings worn that way and they look great. Then you can put it back on your finger for special occasions.

SarahLox77 · 14/02/2021 17:00

@GladAllOver

Just thread it onto a chain and wear it as a pendant. I've seen rings worn that way and they look great. Then you can put it back on your finger for special occasions.

I think it will stab the OP in the chest if she does that!

Atalune · 14/02/2021 22:01

tall that is so pretty! I love it

Felifox · 15/02/2021 09:03

I'd keep it for special occasions, it's impractical for everyday wear. Rather than replace the engagement ring I would choose the type of wedding ring and an eternity ring to wear every day. You could wear the diamond eternity ring on it's own for now. Then wear the engagement ring when you're going out

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