To want to change my ring after 3 years engaged?

[Alice818]

As the title says, we have been engaged for 3 years. Between one thing and another over the last couple of years, we have not got around to finalising any wedding plans. I have a pear shaped diamond ring, which is lovely, but is gets caught in absolutely EVERYTHING and nearly takes my finger with it sometimes when it catches in things. I've had it lowered (as it was originally quite high set) to try and stop it catching, but it's just a nightmare to be honest. I had thought that once we were married, I would maybe have it re-done and somehow make it more manageable to wear, or just take it off and wear only a wedding band, but a wedding looks a long way off now with restrictions etc.
I feel guilty as I'm the one who wanted this style of ring, but had no idea how impractical it would be.
AIBU to want to sell it and get something else?

Could you get the diamond set into a pendant and then buy a simple channel set diamond or other stone ring? A pear shaped diamond would make a lovely pendant and it would still mean you have the original sentiment, plus the resale value would be really poor.

I know what you mean about 'catchy' jewellery, it would annoy me too especially on your hands. I would buy a smooth, channel set band ring in a sapphire perhaps which won't catch and feels different to your diamond.

How big is the centre stone? Setting a pear shape sideways is a pretty cool asymmetrical look (I love it, but not everyone does). Some settings are more time consuming and therefore costly than others, so it would be worth talking to a jeweller. I would always go with a budget in mind, and say ‘what can you do for £x?).
The little diamonds you could save, and have set into your wedding band maybe?

I would get it re-set as a rubover.

www.diamond-heaven.co.uk/product-details/769/modern-rubover-pear-diamond-engagement-ring?gclid=CjwKCAiAsaOBBhA4EiwAo0_AnO7ssEWEhwWWoZlVXjRn35N0e5ikyiHtwYQ0QCyMW0KhCSAaGkrOARoC1kEQAvD_BwE

Of course you're not unreasonable. It's something you wear every day and t's causing you bother. Find something you really love. I like the pendant idea, but if you would never wear it, I'd just sell it. Better to have some money than something you never wear.

I hope this gives an idea.

Pretty ring!

I like the idea of a run over set sideways, but it sounds very expensive.

I’m voting for wear it as a necklace too!

If you love it then don’t start messing with resetting it because it will be costly and it won’t look the same as it does now no matter what they do with it.

I would ask a jewellers for advice for if your ring can be adjusted, or whether you will make much money if you sell it. If you don’t wear your engagement ring after you are married, you could use that as an excuse to choose a more “sparkly” wedding ring that has stones set in perhaps, rather than a plain wedding band.

It's hard to capture how pointy that bloody top part it, my kids have complained that it scratches them and everything when I'm dressing them, so it's just becoming more bothersome as time goes on!

I'd wear it the other way round and see if that makes a difference.

It’s gorgeous by the way ! Would definitely look beautiful as a necklace.

I would much rather get the stone reset for sentimental reasons. and it will be more cost effective too. Find a good jeweller and they will be able to come up with some designs for you (know a lovely man in Herefordshire who will do this - PM home if you want his website).
Think outside the box and consider putting the diamond at an angle and maybe in a rub-over setting and you will end up with something completely unique and much more practical.

Wow, beautiful ring OP! I’d be disappointed to not be able to wear it, but yes it is quite pointy so I can see the issue you’re having.
Can a jeweller not advise further?

It's stunning

I would be tempted to keep it and wear either a cheap replica-ish that doesn't catch everywhere
or a simple ring for every day

until you get a wedding ring that is

The problem with selling it is how little you are getting back.

I would not change it, whatever ring you get won't be your engagement ring.

You'll lose money on it, or rather your fiance will. I sold some jewellery a while back and it was enough to buy two new pairs of shoes for my DC so nowhere near what was paid for it.

@SarahLox77

I would much rather get the stone reset for sentimental reasons. and it will be more cost effective too. Find a good jeweller and they will be able to come up with some designs for you (know a lovely man in Herefordshire who will do this - PM home if you want his website). Think outside the box and consider putting the diamond at an angle and maybe in a rub-over setting and you will end up with something completely unique and much more practical.

Something like this?

Its a lovely ring op. I do understand you wanting to change it though.

I recently sold my princess cut sapphire ring and replaced it with a lovely handmade peridot ring from Etsy. My old ring was set too high and it just ended up stuck in a drawer. My new ring is a lot smaller and lower and has a stunning hammered band , I can wear it every day with no problems.

I toyed with the idea of having the sapphire set in a new band but the cost was £200 + , I sold my old ring for £75 (was £450 new) in the end and bought my replacement for £35. I'm very happy with my choice.

Wear it with the point down twirls your hand?

Once you have children and nappies rings dont get worn much

tall let’s see your ring? I love looking at rings

Wear it the other way round?

I have a princess cut diamond and it still catches on things, it’s just part of having an engagement ring, I think! More styles seem to catch than don’t, unless you go for a style without a ring.

You’ll get almost nothing for the ring now; really, so I’d wear it upside down or have it adjusted to have a halo so it can’t catch anymore... but I’m quite sentimental and another ring wouldn’t feel like “my” ring. If that’s not the case for you, you might just want to get a new one.

I don’t wear my wedding and engagement rings every day, only if we’re getting dressed up to go out. I usually have a stash of plain silver/silver plated bands that I occasionally wear, but I’ve lost an embarrassing amount of them because I’m forever taking them off to wash my hands and forget that I was wearing one. I also have a lovely eternity band style one that I got from M&S for about £20 which I wear more often.
I wouldn’t sell your ring- mine are so special to me for sentimental reasons. I would need them resized now, which I may do at some point in the future but there’s no problem keeping it for special occasions and having something more wearable if you want.

@Alice818

I hope this gives an idea.

Does it make a difference if you wear it pointing the other way. It’s a lovely ring. Once I got married I never wore my engagement ring. I like the look of a plain band in a world of diamond sets. I would consult with an independent jeweller who will talk through your options. Don’t go to a high street jeweller.

Why not get it reset into a pendant?
Any of the smaller diamonds from the shoulder of the ring can be reset into your wedding ring, that way you can chose a different "engagement" type ring - go for something with a rub over setting so it doesn't get caught in stuff.

Beautiful ring op.
I have a similar problem. My engagement ring was also my mother's engagement ring, so it has a lot of sentimental value, but it is a very 'catchy' large ruby, and I am so terrified that the stone will get wrenched out accidentally, I only wear it on special occasions now (which are few and far between these days), but possibly you don't want to do that. Does it catch so badly if you wear it the other way round?

I have a pear solitaire that is high set (with claws) and reasonably large (sorry not a stealth boast, it’s probably pertinent as I imagine larger rings get caught more) and don’t have a problem at all. Could you get it reset as a solitaire and the halo used as a pavé band on the ring? Or potentially set into a wedding ring?