WTF is he even doing in there?!

[BeansOnToastWithCheese]

My DP spends at least an hour in the bathroom every morning. At the weekends it's usually more like 90 minutes. AIBU to think that's excessive?! It takes me less than 45 mins to have a shower, shave, wash my hair and blow-dry it.

Wanking? Watching porn?

As above ^

Apparently not. I mean, that does seem like the most obvious answer but I don't think he is. I'm pretty sure he'd tell me if that was what he was doing.

I also know that how much time he spends watching war documentaries on YouTube while sitting on the toilet isn't really my business. No kids, so it's not like I'm being left to do most of the childcare. But, it just drives me nuts that we can't ever make plans for the weekend unless they're for late afternoon/evening. He doesn't get up until 11, then spends an hour or 90 minutes in the bathroom, then has to have lunch, then do his share of the housework meaning it's about 3 before he's even dressed.

My guess is that a lot of men wouldn’t tell their significant other that they were spending hours having some ‘alone time’ with their phones, no matter how open the communication in the relationship usually is. That’s because a lot of women claim to be totally cool with the use of porn/the idea of their partner wanking over someone else, but when it actually happens they get really pissed off, and also because his habit is affecting your time together and if you had proof that that was what he was doing, you would throw it back in his face when arguing about it.

I knew this would be about men spending hours in the loo before I even opened the thread

Just avoiding family life! I assume you have kids?

Presumably he manages to get himself off to work in the week without his 90 min wankfest? Just make plans at a reasonable time and if he isnt ready then go without him.

I suppose the obvious answer would be to ask him...

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Just avoiding family life! I assume you have kids?

OP says-

No kids, so it's not like I'm being left to do most of the childcare

I'd arrange something he would want to be involved in for early(ish) in the morning, say 9/10am, tell him the day before, and stick to it.

This would bother me beyond belief.

I'd probably also be tempted to start having morning baths at the time he usually hogs the room.

Make your own plans and leave him to his wanking over porn quiet time. I couldn't stand wasting a day like that. How unnattractive.

Turn the WiFi off when he goes in , you’ll soon find out if he’s busy ‘washing’

Does he need something to help with his constipation?

Or, being a bit radical, have you actually asked him what he's doing?

Ask him? Nope, throw the guy to the wolves on here so they can guarantee he's watching porn without any evidence whatsoever.

Ask him.

throw the guy to the wolves

Calm down, it’s an anonymous forum, not a public rant to his family and friends on social media.

I am amazed no one has suggested he is texting OW !

@BeansOnToastWithCheese

Apparently not. I mean, that does seem like the most obvious answer but I don't think he is. I'm pretty sure he'd tell me if that was what he was doing.

I also know that how much time he spends watching war documentaries on YouTube while sitting on the toilet isn't really my business. No kids, so it's not like I'm being left to do most of the childcare. But, it just drives me nuts that we can't ever make plans for the weekend unless they're for late afternoon/evening. He doesn't get up until 11, then spends an hour or 90 minutes in the bathroom, then has to have lunch, then do his share of the housework meaning it's about 3 before he's even dressed.

He’s never available until 3pm? Good god what an absolute waste of a day. He’s being so weird and selfish. This would be a deal breaker for me. Is he going to always be like this. What would happen if you had kids. I’ve never know a man spend this long in the bathroom. He sounds like a right waste of space.

I had thought it @Oldbutstillgotit but didn’t want to be the one to make all the negative suggestions about his extra curricular activities.

If he is anything like my DH he will be watching the tries scored by England in a highlight video on youtube, over and over, after he watched the match the previous day.

Or be ok reddit. F**ng reddit.

Every single morning? Even before work?

Surely if its every single morning without exception it cant be porn/wanking? And that doesn't take an hour anyway.

Is he going to the loo and showering, brushing teeth, getting ready in there all in one go?

Does he do the same every morning even if eg you go on holiday?

Very frustrating that hes not available to do anything until 2 or 3pm every weekend. I'd do as pp suggested and try and plan something for about 10am and then stick to doing it without him, although its obviously difficult to plan anything at the moment anyway!

I’m sure wanking doesn’t take 90 mins 😆

Sorry to be so negative but could he be massaging/online with someone else?

If he's anything like mine he's playing golf on his phone. Or at the moment avoiding me making him watch test cricket all morning.