Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naming and shaming on FB

82 replies

Noidea2114 · 13/02/2021 09:19

A friend of a friend is disabled. She is trying to get donations for a charity she is involved with.
She is sending PM begging for money for this even to the point of giving out her bank account details.
If you haven't replied with in an hour she sends another message asking yes or no.
And keeps it up until you have replied.
I sent £10 which in these difficult times is a good amount.
Woke up this morning to see on FB names of people who haven't donated with a thumbs down emoji.
Anyone who had donated had the amount by their names and an emoji good or bad.
I got a bad review.
Aibu to be upset.

OP posts:
Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 13/02/2021 10:44

I’d go a step further and contact the charity, as it sounds to me as though the charity she’s supposedly collecting for won’t be seeing any of the funds raised as it’s going into her personal bank account. Very worrying, but glad she’s been called out on her behaviour.

FossilisedFanny · 13/02/2021 10:50

Definitely contact the charity though, she could be scamming £££ from people.
Glad she’s been shamed.

Everley · 13/02/2021 10:50

@PurplePi

The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption!
I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to say this, you beat me to it!
Backtobacktheyfacedeachother · 13/02/2021 10:57

Does she have MH issues? Cos this is not normal behaviour.

Because people with MH issues don’t behave normally? Pisses me off when people say things like this, it’s what makes some people (like me) reluctant to get help for MH issues, knowing that they will be judged by some as not being able to behave normally.

Glad she has been called out op. Awful way to drum up support for a charity.

JustZooming · 13/02/2021 11:01

Screen shot her posts and send them to the charity. Then block her

SqeakyHindge · 13/02/2021 11:01

@Backtobacktheyfacedeachother

Does she have MH issues? Cos this is not normal behaviour.

Because people with MH issues don’t behave normally? Pisses me off when people say things like this, it’s what makes some people (like me) reluctant to get help for MH issues, knowing that they will be judged by some as not being able to behave normally.

Glad she has been called out op. Awful way to drum up support for a charity.

You replied better than me!

The has she got mental health comment really pissed me off

Leakyradiator · 13/02/2021 11:02

What a disgusting way for this person to behave. Can’t imagine the charity would be happy that she’s bullying and publicly shaming people for not being able to donate or donating ‘too little’. And as for giving out her bank account details!! Sounds like a lovely intelligent person.

Meowchickameowmeow · 13/02/2021 11:05

I'm glad she got called out, cheeky bitch.

TheyIsMyFamily · 13/02/2021 11:06

I'm glad she's been called out. Absolute bullying behaviour on her part and completely out of order.

I don't understand why some people think they get to decide how other people will spend/donate their money. Gross entitlement.

I'd tell her you want £10 back from her, frankly.

TheyIsMyFamily · 13/02/2021 11:09

I'd also consider contacting the charity and letting them know what's gone on. I'm sure they'd be shocked and hopefully remind supporters of their cause that this is the worst thing they could do.

TheCatThatGotTheCream · 13/02/2021 11:09

How dare she. I'd comment on the post so that everyone can see, that you are horrified at how grabby and ungrateful she is. Tell her that £10 is a struggle for you at the moment however you wanted to donate as she is a friend. I'd tell her her behaviour is disgusting and low class and for her not to bother you again. Do it publicly, she obviously doesn't give a damn about 'naming and shaming' you out for all to see. I'd rip her a new one.

TheCatThatGotTheCream · 13/02/2021 11:10

Sorry I didn't read your update OP. Good, I'm glad she's been called out. I'd also contact the charity and tell the exactly what she has been doing.

An0n0n0n · 13/02/2021 11:35

Her bank details....Hmm

I'd be asking for proof of donation as well and then blocking her

ChaosTrulyReigns · 13/02/2021 11:40

I would imagine that, assuming the best, when she does donate a large amount from many donators as one lump, it would have implications onthat charity being able to realise Gift Aid on that amount.

DNHandTNS · 13/02/2021 11:53

Wow, so glad you've blocked her OP.
Just because she is disabled does not give her the right to manipulate others and abuse them. I would have reported her to Facebook before blocking her.

Tiktokersmiracle · 13/02/2021 11:58

WTF???
In what way is she disabled? Are there learning difficulties? That's the only way I could see for this being slightly understandable.
If not then she is a CF.
How dare she review what people give? How dare she remark on your situation publicly.
I would be contacting the charity and the charities commission. Report to Facebook. I would ask my bank to return the money to me and I would be tempted to contact Action Fraud as you do not pay a charity onto someone's bank account as they will earn interest on it which I doubt will go to the charity.
What a vile person.

Shadeslayer · 13/02/2021 12:01

I would let the charity know

Snazzysausage · 13/02/2021 12:02

I would send this message
Dear charity bully
I am sorry my £10 donation to your chosen charity didn't meet your expectations. Please return the donation to me and I will forward it to the charity directly. Once my donation has been returned to me,do not contact me again.
Freetigerking
Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

MyLittleOrangutan · 13/02/2021 12:07

@SingingLoud

I would comment on the post - “I’ll have my £10 back. I felt bullied into sending you the money by your persistent messaging, on reflection I’m not comfortable with you collecting for a charity via your own bank account, I’d rather donate to the charity direct”.

Shine a light on what she’s doing. She’s not a friend. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Yep. This.
GrapefruitGin · 13/02/2021 12:12

Yanbu that’s awful. Was in a similar situation recently where someone directly messaged asking if I had sent a donation yet, I responded saying yes but I had donated via the just giving page rather than to her bank account directly. Which was the truth. It’s really unfair to assume everyone is in a position to donate money. Also very unfair to assume you don’t already give to charities.

truetuesdays · 13/02/2021 12:27

That is hysterical but awful

The nerve of some people!! Glad she got called out!

LouiseTrees · 13/02/2021 13:15

I’d reply back by text initially saying I’m sorry I couldn’t give any more at the moment but I don’t think it deserves a sad emoji when that’s all I could give. Then if there’s no realisation from her then reply on the FB post. So many will probably thank you for doing so,

AnnLouiseB · 13/02/2021 13:16

If she’s not even a friend but just a friend of a friend, just delete and block her on facebook. She’s being an asshole, but you don’t have to facilitate that.

iklboo · 13/02/2021 13:35

This is going to become this year's Cancel The Cheque isn't it?

maddiemookins16mum · 13/02/2021 14:03

@SingingLoud

I would comment on the post - “I’ll have my £10 back. I felt bullied into sending you the money by your persistent messaging, on reflection I’m not comfortable with you collecting for a charity via your own bank account, I’d rather donate to the charity direct”.

Shine a light on what she’s doing. She’s not a friend. You’ve got nothing to lose.

This 100%.