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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naming and shaming on FB

82 replies

Noidea2114 · 13/02/2021 09:19

A friend of a friend is disabled. She is trying to get donations for a charity she is involved with.
She is sending PM begging for money for this even to the point of giving out her bank account details.
If you haven't replied with in an hour she sends another message asking yes or no.
And keeps it up until you have replied.
I sent £10 which in these difficult times is a good amount.
Woke up this morning to see on FB names of people who haven't donated with a thumbs down emoji.
Anyone who had donated had the amount by their names and an emoji good or bad.
I got a bad review.
Aibu to be upset.

OP posts:
MrsClatterbuck · 13/02/2021 09:36

The money should not be going into her bank account full stop. Worst case scenario if she died before the money could go to the charity the account would be frozen and the money could potentially form part of her estate. The money going to charity would be dependent on whoever is administering her estate doing the right thing and passing it to the charity when it is released by the bank.
No way would I donate in this way. Hopefully a lesson has been learned and no more knowing to pressure.
Another point she will be sending the charity the money as one amount and it will look as she has given a large donation. Will she tell them that it is made up from donations from various people or take all the credit herself.

MindfulBitch · 13/02/2021 09:37

People will see that and think less of her than you! Give it a few hours, as soon as someone says something to her on Facebook, everyone else will then and she will remove it and look even more of a twat.

A bad review for donating a tenner! Cheeky bitch.

Aaaaaah · 13/02/2021 09:39

Wow, I hope you are going to reply to it
Giving to charity is a choice, most people have one charity close to their heart
You are not obliged to give to her chosen charity
Silly mare has shot herself in the foot

Keratinsmooth · 13/02/2021 09:40

I had a friend to this, said she would start “naming and shaming” on Facebook for a charity event. I totally called her out on it. I think that you should too

trappedsincesundaymorn · 13/02/2021 09:41

I'd put up a list of a few of my friends, including her with the heading "True Friends". She'd be the only one with a fuck load of thumbs down next to her name.

xHeartinacagex · 13/02/2021 09:42

That is way out of order. Especially when do many people are struggling financially just now.

I wouldn't ask for the donation back but that would be the end of the friendship for me.

Callingallmajortoms · 13/02/2021 09:42

Can you get your money back?

Oysterbabe · 13/02/2021 09:43

If someone really did this they would inundated with replies telling them to fuck off. Or is that just my friends?

Callingallmajortoms · 13/02/2021 09:44

And donate it directly to the charity? I'd be tempted to speak to the charity and send them screen shots as she a absolutely shouldn't be doing this.

YouAreYourBestThing · 13/02/2021 09:45

She isn't actually allowed to ask for charity money to be paid directly into her own bank account! You should DEFINITELY point this out to her, ask for a receipt, and proof that she has paid ALL donations to this charity immediately. Contact the charity concerned (take screenshots of all of her ridiculous demands for cash!!) and send them to the charity, along with the one with evidence of who has paid what amount (the 'thumbs up/thumbs down' post 😱)

What a cheeky mare! I'd put money on it that she's not sending it to the charity!

Hetilia · 13/02/2021 09:45
Shock
WishIWasAsGoodAsBlueysMum · 13/02/2021 09:46

That’s awful!

Chloemol · 13/02/2021 09:46

I would comment openly that you are very disappointed with her stance, that she has no comprehension about people’s circumstances and what she has done constitutes bullying in your opinion. You want nothing more to do with her. Then block

Hotcuppatea · 13/02/2021 09:46

Thats incredibly bad behaviour on her part and would put a lot of people off from supporting that charity in the future.

Queenoftheashes · 13/02/2021 09:47

This is outrageous! Definitely follow up with the charity and on her post.

Nith · 13/02/2021 09:49

Report her to FB, essentially she's extorting money.

And why is she asking for this money to go into her bank account? Most charities have plenty of ways of accepting donations direct. Very dodgy.

evouk · 13/02/2021 09:51

Block her, she sounds horrible. She's trying to shame ppl into giving money

For all she knows, ppl may already give money to a charity and can't afford to give to this one too. I have a DD setup to give to a charity on a monthly basis

TartanLassie · 13/02/2021 09:53

I work for a charity and as PPs have mentioned putting money straight into her bank account is a huge big NO NO! Huge red flags there!

Delete her and block her...

saffire · 13/02/2021 09:56

If she's getting the money directly, who's to say she will actually pay it to the charity? That's fraud and could be reported to the police, maybe she needs reminding of that...

Redact · 13/02/2021 10:01

I would highlight this to the charity she is collecting for. Donations should always be paid directly to the charity never into an individual's account.

Original poster
Noidea2114 · 13/02/2021 10:18

Thank you for your replies. I've been saved a job as someone called her out on this and she was bombarded with abuse.
She has now taken the thread down. I've also blocked her as it's left a sour taste.
She was only a friend of a friend.

OP posts:
partyatthepalace · 13/02/2021 10:34

Bloody hell, just block her and let her go.

Does she have MH issues? Cos this is not normal behaviour.

I would drop a line to the charity. I don’t think any charity would want people behaving like this, and suspect all is not well with her

SchrodingersImmigrant · 13/02/2021 10:36

Good someone called her out on this. Kind of sad I am not in that circles😂 I need some bitchy outlet 😂

Freetigerking · 13/02/2021 10:41

What a cheeky rude pig!! I wouldn’t let her away with that!

Freetigerking · 13/02/2021 10:41

Just read your last comment, good someone told her

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