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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Playing with dolls in Year 8

111 replies

lpsandmore · 12/02/2021 19:55

My DD is 12- 13 in April and currently in Y8. She has always loved role play and little toys. She's very creative and excels at art, not so much academics. One of the toys she was absolutely obsessed with when she was younger was LPS. The littlest pet shop toys. She would spend all her money on it etc. Around Y6 she stopped playing with them as the girls all got very grown up and it wasn't very cool. She sold a lot of her LPS and we never really looked back.
She's never really got 'stuck' into all the secondary school pressures and drama as 1st lockdown happened March of y7 when they were just settling down. This has meant she has gradually got back into playing with LPS. By play, I mean completely engrossed in it. They have got very expensive now and she has just spent £100 of her own money on a massive bundle of them, plays role play with them, makes role play videos etc etc. There are tons of youtubers (fully grown adults) who make role play videos etc and she watches them in between zoom lessons. She has some friends who know about this but is generally very very secretive and embarrassed. I regularly check her phone and can see the types of convos her friends are having, none are toy related obv. My question is, is this strange? Does anyone else have a not so little toy obsessed child? Should I be worried?

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Ohalrightthen · 12/02/2021 19:56

It sounds like she's using her toys in quite an age appropriate way tbh, i wouldn't be concerned. Especially not in lockdown.

RandomMess · 12/02/2021 19:58

I have 4 DDs I know of a few of their friends who have passions like this. Not that unusual tbh.

fahlala · 12/02/2021 19:59

Who cares its fine whatever keeps her happy it's not the usual but time is not the usual and realistically prob most girls her age would love to be doing the same but feel the need to conform to be teens involving makeup etc let her enjoy it for now and stop worrying

PeggyMoo · 12/02/2021 19:59

If she’s secretive / embarrassed by it she must know it’s unusual among her peer group but she likes what she likes, so I wouldn’t be worried. She’s socially aware

checkingforballoons · 12/02/2021 20:00

It sounds like it’s a really lovely escape for her right now!

Volcanoexplorer · 12/02/2021 20:00

I think this is absolutely fine and I expect quite a few will still play with toys, but won’t speak to friends about it as it’s not seen as cool.

CrackOpenTheGin · 12/02/2021 20:00

I was playing with Barbies at 13, discovered make up and boys at 14. It was a quick switch Grin

SnugglySnerd · 12/02/2021 20:01

I know boys that age who still play with Lego and make Lego videos, I can't really see how this is different.

lpsandmore · 12/02/2021 20:03

@SnugglySnerd

I know boys that age who still play with Lego and make Lego videos, I can't really see how this is different.
This is a very good point. I'm going to mention it to her. I'm sure Lego is sadly seen very differently. She's definitely socially aware. She showed one of her really nice friends her new collection and she said 'If I was still obsessed with LPS I would be crying tears of joy' so she has really lovely close friends. I think its the wrath of the popular mean girls shes more worried about.
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AllAboutHallowsEve · 12/02/2021 20:04

Sounds to me that she's a very creative and imaginative young girl. Who knows, maybe she'll grow up to be a film director! I'd let her continue with the dolls and making films of them. Kids grow up so fast these days - too fast. So just let her grow naturally out of the dolls when the time feels right to her.

Scarby9 · 12/02/2021 20:04

I think her 'play' has developed and is now intermingled with an art form in making the videos.

I 'played' with lego until 11 or 12 but what I did was make a very basic house with no roof but basic furniture shapes inside, then just sit and look at it, according to my parents. Inside my head, I was telling very involved stories about a family living in a log cabin in the forest in Canada.

I can remember it very vividly. The lego was just a starting point for my creative imagination and story telling.

stripeszebra · 12/02/2021 20:05

Please don't be concerned. It's unlikely she will become an adult little toy obsessive, but if she is, she will still be your daughter and you will have to accept it. Consider the alternatives for her, she is not posting inappropriate photos of herself or out on the streets. Lockdown is preventing her doing the activities you believe are socially acceptable for her, and she is finding a way of getting thorough this, it might not be forever. Love your daughter.

MargaretThursday · 12/02/2021 20:05

I collected dolls at that age. At least that's how I described it. I ended up with around 50 2" size dolls. They had a uniform and another outfit and I would arrange them in scenes with parties, and that sort of thing. I don't see a problem in it.

YerAWizardHarry · 12/02/2021 20:05

Really common for girls this age to have Sylvannians and the like I'm sure!

lpsandmore · 12/02/2021 20:06

@Scarby9

I think her 'play' has developed and is now intermingled with an art form in making the videos.

I 'played' with lego until 11 or 12 but what I did was make a very basic house with no roof but basic furniture shapes inside, then just sit and look at it, according to my parents. Inside my head, I was telling very involved stories about a family living in a log cabin in the forest in Canada.

I can remember it very vividly. The lego was just a starting point for my creative imagination and story telling.

Haha this made me laugh as it is exactly what she does. She has made them a whole house out of cardboard, hot glue and printed foldable furniture. They did fantasy stories in english last week and no one knows but hers was basically a role play of her lps lol.
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AIMD · 12/02/2021 20:07

I don’t think it’s worrying. I also think now is not a normal time so if she has found something that entertains her and she enjoys then that’s great.

I ‘played’ things like teacher/mum until I was a teenager. Not with my friends and I wouldn’t have ever told my friends. But I was at home alone as I only had an older sibling so that was something that entertained me. I’m now a (fairly) normal adult.

I do think some people have more vivid imaginations. I often have quite vivid day dreams or imagine conversations I might have with people.

lpsandmore · 12/02/2021 20:09

@stripeszebra

Please don't be concerned. It's unlikely she will become an adult little toy obsessive, but if she is, she will still be your daughter and you will have to accept it. Consider the alternatives for her, she is not posting inappropriate photos of herself or out on the streets. Lockdown is preventing her doing the activities you believe are socially acceptable for her, and she is finding a way of getting thorough this, it might not be forever. Love your daughter.
I love her very much and would accept whatever. She does have SEN (DLD) and academically is about 3 years behind her peers in everything but the arts, so I am always hyper aware of how she is behaving, especially with obsessive type behaviours.

It is really heartwarming to see so many of you with positive stories. I am definitely anti growing up too fast.

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SleepingStandingUp · 12/02/2021 20:10

I'd say
It's been nearly a year pretty much of school.
Lots of kids are struggling mentally.
Your daughter has found her own comfort and so what of it's a little regressive given she grew out of them.
Sounds like she knows not to tell Tammie at the cool table that she's got a new MLS video out but isn't hiding it to you and her close friends either
Anyone who can find the thing that keeps them safe and happy, good on them. And good on their parents for raising well balanced kids.

gavisconismyfriend · 12/02/2021 20:11

Not unusual for all of us to revert back to things that are familiar and bring us comfort. Middle of a pandemic and hormones kicking in at the same time, must be hard being a young teen just now. Perhaps the escapism helps...

mrsbitaly · 12/02/2021 20:17

Aww I felt so sad when my daughter stopped playing playmobil and spent her entire time gaming instead I wish I never introduced games. I think it's nice that your daughter still has an imagination and is happy playing with the things she loves. Unfortunately 'popular' children will always find something to pick on another child about. It's great that she has supportive friends and that she is aware her peers are not into the same thing. I really wouldn't be concerned, and it's cool that she has turned into a more grown up play by role-playing on YouTube which is the thing to do now for children around that age. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying shout it from the roof tops but enjoy this moment as it's not going to last for long. It's such a difficult time i wish you both all the best :-) 😀

krustykittens · 12/02/2021 20:20

My 16 year old and I (47), collect ball jointed dolls. She has a vast Monster High collection and got the MH school for Christmas a couple of years ago. She still plays with them and make elaborate costumes for her bjds. As others have pointed out, its pure escapism, and I think that is good for all of us, no matter how old we are. As a doll collector myself, I don't see why girls are expected to grow out of this hobby if it gives them pleasure. But she is wise keeping it quiet. My DD no longer posts online about her dolls outside of doll communities as she got horrible abuse for it at school.

Puzzler333 · 12/02/2021 20:23

@Scarby9

I think her 'play' has developed and is now intermingled with an art form in making the videos.

I 'played' with lego until 11 or 12 but what I did was make a very basic house with no roof but basic furniture shapes inside, then just sit and look at it, according to my parents. Inside my head, I was telling very involved stories about a family living in a log cabin in the forest in Canada.

I can remember it very vividly. The lego was just a starting point for my creative imagination and story telling.

This was me too! Hours of storytelling staring at my figures. From the age of about 8 to at least 14. The only difference was that from about 12 onwards they weren't on display any more. Still did all the normal teenage stuff with friends.
duffeldaisy · 12/02/2021 20:27

It sounds like a great way of escaping into her imagination.
Don't worry at all.

I have friends who are writers/involved in the arts and many of them have lots of models of film characters/videogame characters, plushies, etc even now, in their 20s, 30s +!

She's obviously very creative. You say she has DLD, so perhaps it's also helping her with aspects of that, and she'll either grow out of doing it as she gets older, stay into it as a fan when older, or - most likely from what you say - be inspired by the videos, storytelling, etc. to go into a creative arts field.

Cuddling57 · 12/02/2021 20:31

Lucky her for having a hobby to get her through these awful times and lucky you for having a happy daughter Smile.
I agree with the other posters and think it's fine.

lpsandmore · 12/02/2021 20:39

Thank you all for your really helpful comments. They have put me at ease a lot. It's lovely to know that for lots of you this was a past time. This is very foreign territory to me as I hated dolls and role play.
She doesn't have a Youtube channel yet but we are thinking of letting her get one, again we do not want her to be targeted.
@krustykittens your post made me smile. I am glad your daughter kept it up despite the bullies. My DD wants to do textiles so she can learn how to make costumes.
@Puzzler333 at the moment hers are displayed all around her desk but I'm sure that will change once friends start coming round again.

Thank you all :)

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