Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year old boy always playing out alone

34 replies

starsparkle08 · 12/02/2021 17:21

There is a little boy down the close I live in . He’s a lovely little boy aged 5 . He’s always playing out alone , never watched by his mum ( who is a single parent )
He plays on his scooter with ramps etc in the road, I’m always extra careful looking out for him ( when in car ) as he’s always all over the place . Plus I’ve had to tell him a number of times to be careful and move him away from vehicles entering the close .
He also was playing with a pen knife the one day which I thought was awful . I’ve not seen him with that again since thankfully .
He was also sat on a chair in the road ( entrance to close ) I had to encourage him to move somewhere safe .
When I leave the close with my son he tries to follow for a bit and I have to remind him to stay close to his home .

Should I do something or not , it’s been playing on my mind a while now .
I think his mum also has a baby which is maybe why she doesn’t come out to watch him . They do have a garden though he could play in .

OP posts:
solicitoring · 12/02/2021 17:26

Yes of course you do something. Poor little chap. You have 2 choices, either get closer to his mum and see if there is anything you can do to help or you phone social services. What you are describing is neglect. I have a 6 year old and wouldn't let him on my driveway on his own.

Original poster
starsparkle08 · 12/02/2021 17:37

My son has autism adhd and learning difficulties . He also doesn’t like other children and has challenging behaviours so it’s not really possible for me to approach his mum.

It’s a worry he could either get run over or taken by someone .
He also tries to befriend everyone including the bin men and also work men who have come to sort out the hedges .

I feel very sorry for him . Selfishly I am worried about what would happen if I reported him and the mother thought / knew it was me . The rest of the people on the close are elderly and it might have been more normal in their day

OP posts:
VelveteenChair · 12/02/2021 17:41

Did he wear school uniform last term? If so, and you can identify the school then maybe contact the Headteacher. They may be able to do a subtle intervention.

ejhhhhh · 12/02/2021 17:42

I agree with solicitoring, those are the only options really, but I do think you should do something. You it most recent post, when you mention he befriends random adults, is the most concerning imo. If you really really don't feel like you can approach his mum, you should raise a safeguarding concern with your local council. Hopefully his mum will get the support she needs.

ejhhhhh · 12/02/2021 17:44

That's a good idea from Velveteen. I would even suggest asking him what school he goes to.

fahlala · 12/02/2021 17:46

You must report this I don't know why you need to ask its neglect he is at risk of a lot of things and the mother clearly had no idea how to look after a child call social services or nspcc or the school if you know where he goes make sure you tell them everything poor boy

tiredybear · 12/02/2021 17:48

The poor boy. Please raise your concerns to social services. He is only 5 and needs someone to look out for him. Social services can then provide the whole family the support they need.

Original poster
starsparkle08 · 12/02/2021 17:54

I think I know which school he comes from @VelveteenChair thanks that’s a really good suggestion .

I will look into contacting social services too .
I do keep a eye on him as and when possible but yes he is at risk and that is sad

OP posts:
Itsjustaride8w737 · 12/02/2021 18:04

Sorry but what does your son having additional needs have to do with you having a quiet word with this boy's mum?

caringcarer · 12/02/2021 18:24

Could you drop a note through her foot saying you are concerned he is over friendly towards strangers and tries to befriend bin men etc. and he is often in the road so unsafe. Could he play on garden instead of in road as some cars drive very quickly as he could be run over. If no Improvement in a week ring SS. Let them investigate.

Original poster
starsparkle08 · 12/02/2021 18:25

@Itsjustaride8w737

He hits people , spits , kicks and bites and I cannot talk about such issues in front of him

OP posts:
HangOnToYourself · 12/02/2021 18:28

Omg as the mother of a 5 year old this makes me so scared for him, they are still so vulnerable at this age. Please contact social services they are not the enemy and in this case the mother clearly needs some support from them as she is neglecting her child. The child's safety must come first

SunnySomer · 12/02/2021 18:30

I grew up in the 1970s - probably like your elderly neighbours’ children - and it was not normal for a five year old to play out alone then.
As five year olds we did play in our cul de sac all the time - but you always went to see if other people were playing too. And if they weren’t free to play you stayed home or in the garden.
This child is clearly neglected and you need to let social services know.

Snooks1971 · 12/02/2021 18:31

@VelveteenChair

Did he wear school uniform last term? If so, and you can identify the school then maybe contact the Headteacher. They may be able to do a subtle intervention.
Best suggestion totally. He may be on their radar anyway, especially if not taking part in any online lessons or submitting any work (I know he’s only 5!) and you contacting the school may just help with getting the family some support.
Snooks1971 · 12/02/2021 18:32

@SunnySomer

I grew up in the 1970s - probably like your elderly neighbours’ children - and it was not normal for a five year old to play out alone then. As five year olds we did play in our cul de sac all the time - but you always went to see if other people were playing too. And if they weren’t free to play you stayed home or in the garden. This child is clearly neglected and you need to let social services know.
Same here, never played out alone.
Yesmate · 12/02/2021 18:47

How on earth have you not reported this? Please report it, Mum might just need some help and support or there could be something neglecting happening inside the home too.

Child safety is everyone’s concern.

Original poster
starsparkle08 · 12/02/2021 18:51

I feel guilty for not reporting it and will do so .
I can’t leave my son unsupervised for a second and he is aged 9 ( lots of disabilities though )
Just out of interest what is the typical age a child can play out unsupervised ( one without disabilities such as my sons )

OP posts:
MustardMitt · 12/02/2021 18:52

Can’t you knock on the door without your son?

Original poster
starsparkle08 · 12/02/2021 18:54

@MustardMitt I’m a single parent , no one else to care for my son

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 12/02/2021 18:55

Mine played out on the street from about 7 but it was a cul de sac and I could see them from my window to check on them.

ejhhhhh · 12/02/2021 19:14

About 7-8 is OK I think, but only with other children, never alone, and it depends what the road/area is like. I wouldn't let my DD out on her own and she's 8, but our road isn't quite busy. My niece, who lives on a cul-de-sac, has been playing out since she was about 8, with other children.

ejhhhhh · 12/02/2021 19:15

*is quite busy

ejhhhhh · 12/02/2021 19:18

And I have a 5 year old boy too, as well as my 8 year old DD. There is a vast difference between the two children developmentally, 5 is very very young to be out alone, they're completely clueless at that age, still babies really! I'm glad you've decided to seek help OP.

GreenSlide · 12/02/2021 19:21

Poor wee thing. It's freezing outside too.

PatchworkElmer · 12/02/2021 19:31

Goodness he’s not much older than my son, who I have to watch like a hawk at all times. Far too young to be out completely alone.