Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Original poster

Parents of Y11 pupils, are you going to buy uniform for 8 March?

178 replies

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 15:46

Our school has sent out a newsletter which amongst other things tells us to ensure pupils have uniform that fits for 8 March.

Now I did get some new trousers, shoes and shirts for ds2 back in September, he barely wore them due to isolating a couple of times (school instructed) and ofc hasn't since December. He's grown almost two inches since September and so the trousers now don't really fit and the shirts look a bit stupid. But do I really have to get a whole load of new kit for what will be at best eight weeks' wear after which he'll never put them on again? He is six foot 3 and a half so I have to buy men's clothing for him anyway, it isn't cheap and I'm literally buying it so he can go to school for eight weeks having missed about half a year altogether due to covid. It just seems stupid. What are others doing? YABU= suck it up buttercup, them's the rules. YANBU = send them in in joggers and bite me.

OP posts:

Lilmzsnowflake · 12/02/2021 20:32

First up, he would have grown if school was in or not. So would need new clothes for school anyway.
Secondly it’s likely to be longer than 8 weeks. My 17 year old weekend staff members have been told to expect to be in school until the end of term in July. They aren’t happy but that’s what they’re being told now, to prepare them.
There is always a place for a white shirt and black trousers, interviews, formal events, as others have said.
If you really cannot afford new then put a plea on local Facebook groups for the size you require. I’ve seen plenty of posts on ours relating to clothing for kids when it’s needed for only a short time, especially as at the moment it’s hard to shift due to charity places being closed.
You can’t send him in non-uniform if school have expressly said not to. That’s just asking to have his assessments downgraded IMO. Choose your attitude...

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 12/02/2021 20:33

@SomewhereUpMyArse

Well if we're getting into bigger bigger pictures my picture's better than yours territory then the entire idea of making parents buy special clothes so that their children can go to school is absolute bullshit from the outset.

But that wasn't my initial point. My initial point is that it's stupid to require it's for eight weeks. He's not had uniform on since December. The sky hasn't fallen in and he's getting good grades. So why demand it now, other than "that's what we do"?

None of that (and FWIW, I agree with you) matters. If they won't let him into school without clothing that is acceptable to them, he will suffer from not accessing whatever time they have left in school. And no amount of venting online or, as I expect we will see, sad face features in newspapers, will change that.

If Primark has opened by that point, I would imagine that they will be doing a roaring trade in plain dress trousers in both children's and adult sizes. If not, well, the school will be made aware of it and they will have to decide whether Year 11 are exempt or not.

It is shit. But it is how things are.

Original poster

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 20:34

But it really is shit!

OP posts:

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:36

Wow. So you think making parents buy clothes in order that their children can go to school is ok?

Yes, I think uniform policies are good. Given probably 99% of UK schools have one, I don’t think that’s as “nuts” as you’re trying to make out.

Original poster

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 20:36

To be clear, out of an 18 month syllabus, he's missed a third and now I've got the school on my back saying that even though he's missed this crucial time, if he's to access the remainder he has to wear special clothes that cost £100 for 8 weeks.

OP posts:

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:38

But again, you would have had to replace the uniform anyway. So 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 20:45

Yes and I would always have struggled to replace it. By "struggled" btw I mean slim the shopping budget down by a tenner a week for ten weeks, not get myself work shoes in that time sort of thing. I mean it really is difficult to buy clothes that are just for school when you don't earn much. I hate it and it's stressful and an unnecessary expense anyway, but to have to do it when they've not even been in school, and apparently that's fine, and apparently it's also fine that I supervise all the remote stuff while working, and this is all acceptable but as soon as school says well you've done all that but now you need the right trousers to do your exams, and you shit-upon parent have to buy them, is a bit much.

OP posts:

steppemum · 12/02/2021 20:47

I can see both sides of this.

But it doesn't cost £100.
£15 trousers
£15 pack of 2 shirts.
He needs to get in the habit of sticking them in the wash on Tues and Thurs evening.
Not wasted because he can wear them for saturday job, interview etc

Or wear the slightly short trousers.

BUT I do think that given that so many parents are struggling financially, and given that the shops are not open, it is unreasonable of the school not to make special consessions.

I woudl write to them. State facts - no money, lockdown left you broke, Primark not open, can't do it.

Ask for a compromise. As I said up thread, maybe whatever is required in sixth form.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:47

I understand you’re struggling. I wish there was more help available with uniform. But even if your DS didn’t wear uniform he would still need clothes. Uniform isn’t expensive compared to jeans, jumpers, trainers etc. So although I do get where you’re coming from, I think overall it’s better for uniform policies to be enforced.

ChristOnAPeloton · 12/02/2021 20:49

You can get men’s trousers on eBay for a tenner. But I get a sneaking feeling you don’t want solutions- you just want a rant.

Would probs piss me off too. Thank fuck my Y11 DD hasn’t grown for a while now.

kowari · 12/02/2021 20:58

@AStudyinPink

You still need clothes for weekends and holidays if you have uniform too. Uniform is expensive in addition to jeans, jumpers, trainers that they still need. For DS, in addition to trainers, he then needs football boots and another pair of trainers that can not be worn outside, and school shoes.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 21:00

You still need clothes for weekends and holidays if you have uniform too.

Not as much, though. I think overall uniform (if it’s not expensive) is a pretty economical way to clothe a teenage boy. But anyway, it’s not the point. Schools have uniforms, we all know this when we have kids. I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic because I’m not, I just think it’s the best way.

MuddlingMackem · 12/02/2021 21:01

Does the school have a parents' Facebook group? Or is there a local Facebook group for your town?

As previous posters have mentioned, as the charity shops aren't open, people may have suitable clothes they could pass on to you, maybe for free or for a donation to their chosen charity. Just ask. I doubt you'll be the only one in this boat.

RaidersoftheLostAardvark · 12/02/2021 21:06

I don't think you are being unreasonable in the current financial circumstances. Seriously, email the school (politely) and ask the question, say it's a struggle financially and is uniform really a priority for schools right now? And if they are hard line about it contact your MP and raise this as a national issue- phrase it as another unnecessary financial penalty for struggling parents, and if the powers that be told schools to relax the rules that would be an easy win in terms of making life cheaper/easier for parents & kids. Wouldn't cost the government anything and would make them popular with parents so worth a try! Failing that I would buy 1 pair of trouser & 2 shirts & wing it with the washing.

kowari · 12/02/2021 21:13

Not as much, though. That hasn't been my experience, DS hasn't needed any more non uniform in the last year than he did when it was just for weekends and three months worth of school holidays a year. School uniform was always an additional cost for us, not economical at all.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 21:15

kowari

Fair enough. I still think it’s reasonable for schools to expect students to turn up in uniform, though.

steppemum · 12/02/2021 21:16

Can I just point out as a parent of a 6'3" teenager, that no second hand school shop is going to have clothes to fit, even if they are open, which most aren't

kowari · 12/02/2021 21:29

I think the school should not require uniform for year 11, when at most it's going be a term plus three weeks and I doubt they will be back full time for that. My DS has attended school as a keyworker child from May to July last year and now since Christmas in jeans, tshirt and hoodie without an issue.

Original poster

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 21:31

School uniform was always an additional cost for us, not economical at all.

Same. I bought it because I had to and it was extra on top of general clothes buying which I would have done anyway. Once into late teenage years, it was a massive expenditure.

I could cry when I think about the other things I could have bought dcs over the years if I hadn't had to buy them clothes that enabled them to access education.

I mean, it's just loads of money. Hundreds of pounds every year. We could have done all sorts with that.

Hearing people say that me spending this money on clothes that I only bought so my kids could go to school was a levelling process does my head in. They've missed out on things because I had to buy blazers.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 12/02/2021 21:58

@SomewhereUpMyArse

But why is a pair of trousers and a couple of shirts costing £100?

It’s galling, I get it. But you don’t need the “ideal” amount of school uniform. You need the bare minimum to make it for 8 weeks.

Original poster

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 22:09

I can't just buy the one pair of trousers! Jesus, I might be poor but I'm not scruffy.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 12/02/2021 22:18

@SomewhereUpMyArse

I can't just buy the one pair of trousers! Jesus, I might be poor but I'm not scruffy.

Well, that’s a choice.

Wear for 2 days then wash isn’t scruffy.

NoSquirrels · 12/02/2021 22:24

I’m just not sure I understand your attitude, that’s all.

Buy bare minimum and comply with the dress code, wash more often but otherwise hassle free.

Or get into an 8-week battle over joggers.

It just doesn’t seem worth it. Why are joggers not ‘scruffy’ when trousers on day 2 are dreadful?

I’m wearing 3-day-old jeans at the moment. Something would need to happen to my trousers - spills/stains/mud etc - for me to wash them after 1 wear.

kowari · 12/02/2021 22:24

Ds couldn't get by with one pair of trousers. They dry overnight but we only wash midweek and weekend or we'd be running the machine half empty. They can get muddy just from walking across school grounds if it's been raining, he needs two pairs.

Original poster

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 22:29

Exactly. You can't do a wash every day. Probably cost as much as trousers. And teenage boys are filthy.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8