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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents of Y11 pupils, are you going to buy uniform for 8 March?

178 replies

SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 15:46

Our school has sent out a newsletter which amongst other things tells us to ensure pupils have uniform that fits for 8 March.

Now I did get some new trousers, shoes and shirts for ds2 back in September, he barely wore them due to isolating a couple of times (school instructed) and ofc hasn't since December. He's grown almost two inches since September and so the trousers now don't really fit and the shirts look a bit stupid. But do I really have to get a whole load of new kit for what will be at best eight weeks' wear after which he'll never put them on again? He is six foot 3 and a half so I have to buy men's clothing for him anyway, it isn't cheap and I'm literally buying it so he can go to school for eight weeks having missed about half a year altogether due to covid. It just seems stupid. What are others doing? YABU= suck it up buttercup, them's the rules. YANBU = send them in in joggers and bite me.

OP posts:
mum2jakie · 12/02/2021 18:48

To be honest, I wasn't expecting my kids to spend much time actually in school so didn't replace my teenage son's trousers in September. I left him with a single pair that he was complaining were getting too small for him before Christmas. Good decision really as he had a couple of months of wear out of them!

This post has just reminded me to order some bigger trousers. It's a pain not being able to try clothes on though - he's a skinny kid and difficult to find trousers that fit him.

Sh05 · 12/02/2021 18:50

Contact the school. My son's high school had trouble throughout the summer sourcing uniform and they were allowed to wear a shirt and any dark smart trousers. You'd still need to buy them but it might be cheaper in non uniform colours

looseddaughter · 12/02/2021 18:50

Write a firm but polite letter to the school saying that you can't buy more uniform. If they say your son can't attend then contact your local MP and the media.
Schools need to stop this uniform crap. They really do.

Yeah, no. Don't try and get your MP onto the school - they and their staff have enough to be dealing with helping people in very serious difficulties at this time, and as for the advice to try for a sad-face splash in the local press - just don't.

I'm not a fan of expensive, branded uniform, but as a teacher, I can tell you school was difficult enough last term and the last thing we need when trying to settle them back in after this closure, is various kids turning up in joggers etc. If we are expected to keep Y11 for longer even without exams we need everything to be as normal as possible to have a chance of surviving it.

I do sympathise with money being tight, but a couple of pairs of black trousers and white shirts will have a chance at least of being used afterwards an I do think they fall into the category of essential spending.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 18:55

Write a firm but polite letter to the school saying that you can't buy more uniform. If they say your son can't attend then contact your local MP and the media.

Any decent MP will back local schools enforcing their policies to provide as much normality as possible to the children and staff.

Media? Well, who cares?

dopenguinsdance · 12/02/2021 18:56

Have you contacted the school to see if they could retrieve some stuff from the second-hand uniform sale store? Perhaps they could let you have it on a sale or return basis? We're lucky enough to have a local lady who collects school uniforms and passes them on to those who need them. You might have someone who does it near you, check Facebook. I've got a lanky 6'2"+ and have just passed on a lot of hardly worn school uniform this way.

NoSquirrels · 12/02/2021 19:02

2x shirts, 1 pair of trousers. Wash midweek. In an emergency the shirts that are a bit short in the sleeve or the short trousers for a day or two.

It’s annoying but just do it as cheaply as possible.

simonthedog · 12/02/2021 19:08

It probably wouldn't help you in year 11 but maybe the PTA could organise a uniform swap for pupils in other years who had uniform bought for them in September which has barely been worn but outgrown.

ineedaholidaynow · 12/02/2021 19:09

If schools can stay open I am assuming Y11s will be staying on longer than May. Many of them have missed so much already

Username12353784 · 12/02/2021 19:15

I wouldn’t be rushing for now. Maybe wait a couple weeks. Most places do quick delivery! I bought Dd school summer dresses last Feb for the spring and summer (cheap in comparison to a secondary school uniform!) and they never got worn! Too small now!

Ilovemaisie · 12/02/2021 19:23

AStudyInPink well yes taking the issue to a MP or the media probably is extreme but it shouldn't have to get that far.
The problem at the moment clothing retailers are not open so you have to order it and although supermarkets are open you can't try on. For my daughter this would mean buying different sizes to get the right ones.
People save up money for a uniform budget - but normally you can go into the shops and try it on and only spend what you need. If a couple of pairs of trousers, couple of shirts and a jumper would normally cost - say - £40 not being able to try clothes on and having to buy multiples means that £40 could suddenly be £120 you need to find. Yes you would be able to refund the unwanted clothing and get your money back eventually but that's no help if you simply haven't got 3x your school clothes budget available.
Having to find extra money for uniform should not have to be a priority or worry for families. It's not what people need right now. It isn't. It really isn't.

Ilovemaisie · 12/02/2021 19:28

Also what is so shockingly terrible about joggers? They are warm cosy comfortable trousers. So what if some children might wear them to school? Oh dear will society fall because a teen is wearing some fleecy trousers in order to take some exams? No. It won't.

Ilovemaisie · 12/02/2021 19:33

And don't get me started on the horror of hoodies...
Large duffle coat with giant hood = fine
Padded Jacket with giant hood = fine
Hiking style jacket with giant hood = fine
Pac a Mac jacket with giant hood = fine
Fleece sweatshirt with not giant hood = NO NO SOCIETY WILL CRUMBLE ARRRGH PANIC.
God this stuff makes me angry.

Ilovemaisie · 12/02/2021 19:34

Sorry.... got a bit ranty.
Seriously it does make me very angry that a person can be denied an education just because their parents can't get hold of (for whatever reason) some trousers in a specific shade of grey.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 19:35

Ilovemaisie

I think it’s what the kids need - a dose of routine and normality. A summer term out of uniform would be a waste of time in many schools. So while I get it and I sympathise, I can’t agree.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 12/02/2021 19:40

Asda have got men’s 2 pack of white shirts for £12.50 and black trousers for £14. I’d get min you get away with with a view to wearing for Saturday job or interview.

Ilovemaisie · 12/02/2021 19:42

AStudyInPink so you would really be happy in denying a child the opportunity to sit exams that they will need in life over a pair of fricking trousers?
That actually breaks my heart a little bit.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:07

Ilovemaisie

I’m sorry it breaks your heart. There’s a bigger picture, though, which is the culture of the whole school and the effect on all the children of one or ten or fifty students dressing however they like in a school with a uniform code. Unless it’s suspended, the school has to enforce it.

Original poster
SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 20:18

Aye the bigger picture is that I break my arse working to buy clothes in order that my son can access an education, even though he hasn't had a semblance of an education this year, and I've been working through a pandemic and am about to be financially hammered in order that the UK can keep its discretionary spending economy afloat. An economy that I have never and will never participate in. Because I earn fuck all. And yet I'm expected to buy fucking dress trousers so my son can go to school for I don't even know how long to be assessed on I don't even know what basis.

He's been wearing joggers long enough while filling in worksheets online while I'm at work. If the joggers are good enough for that, they're good enough for however many weeks the dofe deems necessary in order for him to complete his GCSEs.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 12/02/2021 20:19

There's no guarantee it's only going to be eight weeks. They could keep them in school all the way to July depending upon when and what is happening with the GCSEs.

Crap, I know, but nobody else knows what's going on, either. Least of all the schools. At least with boys, the majority of places acknowledge that they probably won't fit the school supplies shop wonders (and those shops are closed anyhow right now) and will put up with a tie, too short blazer and possibly a jumper. Not so with girls who have special skirts to buy and special blouses as well as everything else, in my experience...

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:21

SomewhereUpMyArse

I’m afraid not. The bigger picture is that his school is a uniform code and I very much imagine he won’t be considered an exception to it, because thanks damaging to the interests of all the other children.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:22

*has

Original poster
SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 20:25

Well if we're getting into bigger bigger pictures my picture's better than yours territory then the entire idea of making parents buy special clothes so that their children can go to school is absolute bullshit from the outset.

But that wasn't my initial point. My initial point is that it's stupid to require it's for eight weeks. He's not had uniform on since December. The sky hasn't fallen in and he's getting good grades. So why demand it now, other than "that's what we do"?

OP posts:
minniemango · 12/02/2021 20:26

It's ridiculous that children's access to education can be jeopardised because of a parent's ability to pay for the right clothes. Even more worrying that teachers support it.

They may not even be back on 8th March so I would wait and see before spending money.
Does he have any black jeans? I'd probably buy some black jeans if they will get more wear than cheap suit trousers.

AStudyinPink · 12/02/2021 20:28

Well if we're getting into bigger bigger pictures my picture's better than yours territory then the entire idea of making parents buy special clothes so that their children can go to school is absolute bullshit from the outset.

Well, maybe. I don’t think so, but everyone’s entitled to their view.

But that wasn't my initial point. My initial point is that it's stupid to require it's for eight weeks. He's not had uniform on since December. The sky hasn't fallen in and he's getting good grades. So why demand it now, other than "that's what we do"?

No other reason. It’s a good enough reason. Exceptionalism is bad for schools.

Original poster
SomewhereUpMyArse · 12/02/2021 20:32

Well, maybe. I don’t think so

Wow. So you think making parents buy clothes in order that their children can go to school is ok?

I'm just asking that specific question because it seems a bit nuts so I didn't want to get you wrong.

OP posts:
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