It’s not his money

[Penistoe]

My dh runs his own business he makes an ok wage but not huge. I am the main earner and make approximately 3 times as much as he does.
He saves 20% of his money for taxes. Great. This year however with some extra business purchases his tax bill was a lot lower and he has about £5,000 left over. He wants to calculate the tax for this year and keep it for the April. Get ahead of the game. Fine. Then he also said and the rest he can buy x y z for the business. He seems really excited because he can buy these cool things that will make his job easier but not essential. He essentially oversaved for tax but I feel this is family money.
When he decided to quit his job, which was more equal in terms of earning, to do his business I added him to my account so we had joint finances. So he didn’t have to ask for money. This has been a bit hard as iv always been strict and know exactly what is coming in and out, and I still seem responsible for knowing what bills are due, but he just buys whatever without checking.
I’m so annoyed by this as it feels my money is ours and his is to do with how he pleases. He does pay all his earnings into the joint account but like I said I earn a lot more. He had a new vehicle recently for his business hence the low tax bill. Meanwhile my 13 year old car broke down and iv been trying to save to get a new one, this extra money will help.
At the moment I am wfh so don’t need a car but my boss is expecting this to end in a few months.
He said he needs to ‘grow’ the business but he is only able to do this if I can do my job. I’m just fed up and feel like saying we will go back to single accounts and pay half, and if he has no money left tough, he can get a better job. Then I’m just as bad as the financially controlling men I read about on here. Sorry for the long winded one, I guess I needed a rant.

@AStudyinPink
But nowhere does the OP state him quitting was a completely joint decision or even following careful family discussion. Of course the OP should consider and support her partner. But it seems the consideration and support is all a bit one way at the moment.

But nowhere does the OP state him quitting was a completely joint decision or even following careful family discussion

Because she is aggrieved, I’m certain she would say if she was unwilling for him to start the business. Anyway, that’s what I think - if she’s left out important information she can say so.

@AStudyinPink
Likely she was okay with it. But now he’s (reportedly) spending significant sums on (what OP considers) frivolous expenses which won’t help the business grow. If the husband is relying on her salary (which is now what the family is depending on) as a lending bank, he really should be discussing and informing her of big purchases - not just taking that money as his own endless pot.

Likely she was okay with it. But now he’s (reportedly) spending significant sums on (what OP considers) frivolous expenses which won’t help the business grow.

And as I said above, they need to compromise around that. But she didn’t say “frivolous”, to be fair.

@Sapho47

Something doesn't add up here

" I am the main earner and make approximately 3 times as much as he does.
He saves 20% of his money for taxes. Great. This year however with some extra business purchases his tax bill was a lot lower and he has about £5,000 left over"

Dp saves 20% for taxes and ended up with 5000 left over.

So at an absolute minimum he made 25,000

You earn 3x this so you're on a minimum of 75,000 a year.

House hold income a minimum of 100k.

Do you really think people are going to say that someone on 75k+ should expect thier partner who earns less than the national average to be 50/50 or buying them a new car?

I agree that something doesn't add up, but from the point of view that, if this £5k is only part of his tax bill, and the OP earns 3 times what he does, how come there's no money for a car for the OP?

Where's all the money coming in actually going? Can some of the spending, whether business, essential household or personal, be cut to free up money so the OP has a decent car?

Cars for work that are in line with need not want, so affordable and sensible, ie not a high end, thirsty, expensive one if there's no funds available for this, are a household expense not a personal one, so should come out of joint funds.

If you’re expected to transport heavy files/equipment as part of your job, can you approach your employer to see if there’s any option for a lease car? My old job I absolutely had to have a car both for the amount of travelling between sites and the amount of stuff I had to cart around with me. I used my own car and claimed mileage for work journeys but I already owned my car and it didn’t need replacing. My employer did have a lease car scheme for anyone who had to have a car for work purposes where you could get a better deal than a lease from a garage. Worth asking?

Does your wage only cover the bills?

Businesses do need money to grow. What I would suggest is to set a deadline for his business to become profitable and he will need to contribute 50% of the bills then.
DH and I have worked hard to raise a business from the ground, and we have managed for a long time on little income, but now we reap the reward, it can be worth it, but this was a joint decision. It's kinda like he's quit his job to do a job he enjoys that earns him a fraction of the salary and is expecting you to support him, without having asked you.

So, set a deadline, I'd say by the end of this year. If he's not able to equally contribute to the household then he starts applying for proper jobs.

OP you must be a very high earner? As pp said, your DH earned in excess of £25k, therefore you’re earning at least £75k. And you can’t afford a car? Given that he wants to invest the money and not squander it, I suggest you look at the rest of your budget and see what you can cut to pay for a car. Do without a holiday perhaps?

@timeisnotaline

Do you really think people are going to say that someone on 75k+ should expect thier partner who earns less than the national average to be 50/50 or buying them a new car? If the op doesn’t have that kind of money left over then yes his should go into the pot. I know it’s a lot but plenty of people use that much for basic living costs.

O.o

It sounds like you resent him from the word go for earning so much less than you. Consider reviewing your own superiority complex about earning so much more before you act.

Surely he must be earned at least £37k? You don't pay company tax on wages and he'll have already paid himself his cash free allowance of £12k. Plus other expenses... more like £40-45k.

*tax free allowance

If he's paying £5k less in taxes than expected presumably he's had a lean year and made less money than usual. Which isn't uncommon this year.
Op if he had a usual business year and you needed a cat how would you have bought it? Are you lacking the car money because you've been paying the living expenses because he hasn't made much?

Starting to wonder if it's a "hobby business" that will never earn him a good and steady income, but he can indulge this because you're there.

A ‘hobby business’ isn’t one where you can make £5k savings on tax. If he is able to do that, this means the DH is earning a very normal income from it. Not even just MW.

It seems that the issue the OP has is that he isn’t earning as much as her or isn’t putting every possible earning, such as that £5k savings, in the common pot. But is choosing to invest in the business instead.

@MyLittleOrangutan

Businesses do need money to grow. What I would suggest is to set a deadline for his business to become profitable and he will need to contribute 50% of the bills then. DH and I have worked hard to raise a business from the ground, and we have managed for a long time on little income, but now we reap the reward, it can be worth it, but this was a joint decision. It's kinda like he's quit his job to do a job he enjoys that earns him a fraction of the salary and is expecting you to support him, without having asked you.

So, set a deadline, I'd say by the end of this year. If he's not able to equally contribute to the household then he starts applying for proper jobs.

The business IS profitable otherwise he wouldn’t be paying £5k too much in taxes. This means this guy. Is earning a decent wage but feels entitled to that money...

It's not even his money it's the business's money and after he has spent money on it anything left and paid out is your money. I have £7000 sitting in my business account, I am spending it on equipment because the easier I find the work and the more I can do the more work I can bring in and next year hopefully I will make more.