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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say that this is why people don't answer doors

223 replies

RachelGreep87 · 10/02/2021 15:18

There a number of scams such as this one where a "damsel in distress" will get into your house and do god knows what.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9244545/Moment-woman-caught-doorbell-cam-trying-way-house-shouting-need-help.html

All of you devil-may-care door openers are potentially welcoming this into your home.

There is no reason to answer the door to unannounced callers.

YABU - I am willing to gamble my life and answer the door at anytime
YANBU - Not answering the door if I'm not expecting anyone

OP posts:
Clangerschick · 10/02/2021 21:27

Someone knocks on the door id answer it. But then I would have a 10 tonne German Shepard dog standing behind me and ensuring only people he approved of could come in so not nervous at all regardless of the time day or night😁

Zenithbear · 10/02/2021 21:33

We have an electric gate at the bottom of the drive, then another gate with a key to get to the front door so we tend not to get unwanted visitors. If it does happen I can talk to them through the last gate while my dogs are eyeing them up but no way will they be getting through the gate unless I'm expecting them. It's one reason why we chose this house as normally dp goes away a few times a year.

LastTrainEast · 10/02/2021 21:35

In these day when we have mobile phones the only time someone comes to my door unexpectedly is when they knew they wouldn't be welcome if they said they were coming.

So typically people selling tat or religion (other tat)

HappyBluebird · 10/02/2021 21:35

If that vulnerable looking, frail old lady hadnt have answered her door to frantic, terrified 14 year old me in 1996, Its not known if I would still be here.

SamLovesLembasBread · 10/02/2021 21:47

I don't open the door to people I don't recognise or who aren't very clearly there to make a delivery or on some official business. It's not because I suspect it's likely to be someone with nefarious intentions, though that's always a slim possibility. It's because I don't want to interact with random people off the street for no reason. If it's important, they'll find another way to contact me. Fortunately, it's exceedingly rare that an unknown person comes here, because we're so far off the beaten track. However, our isolation makes me even more loath to open the door to strangers. (No-one to hear me scream. Except our very vocal "watchdogs".)

StillCoughingandLaughing · 10/02/2021 21:52

@MintyMabel

Years of experience has taught me that it's never anyone worthwhile.

That’s just sad.

Yesterday at our door we had DD’s friend with some cake she made, and a neighbour coming to thank us for clearing the snow from her paths.

The day before it was a parcel from Amazon my sister sent.

At the weekend there was a flower delivery from my mum.

I’ve been answering my door for nearly 40 years and at no point has it been anything dangerous. Ridiculous to refuse out of fear.

Posts like this are absolute gold. ‘Ooh, but of course you’ve got to answer the door! It could be your daughter’s lovely little friend with surprise cake, or the sweet old lady whose path you cleared!’ You do realise not everyone lives in a world like this? It doesn’t make us ‘sad’ - just different to you.

I, and many others on this thread, don’t have friends or family living a stone’s throw away. It doesn’t mean we don’t have them full stop, or that no one wants to see us. It just means it’s more practical - and yes, preferable - to organise a visit with a quick call or text rather than it being ‘a lovely surprise’.

Welshwabbit · 10/02/2021 21:58

For those who say no-one ever knocks on the door for a good reason, in the recent past (before the current lockdown) I have had the following knocking at my door:

  • A neighbour from down the road coming to offer my kids some cakes she had made with her son.
  • A neighbour from a different road, for whom I had dropped off a Christmas card, with a card for us and Lego cards for my kids.

The first may have my number but only via a WhatsApp group. The second definitely didn't as I didn't even know her name, and just dropped her off a card because she always decorates her house really nicely at Halloween and my kids particularly appreciated it this year.

I live in London, btw.

So yeah, I'm definitely of the taking my life in my hands school.

Welshwabbit · 10/02/2021 21:59

I hadn't actually read the post directly above mine before writing my reply - honestly! Grin

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2021 22:11

My neighbour knocked with a huge slice of home made cheesecake for me one evening Grin

Another neighbour knocked to say I'd left my car window open.

What a cheek eh?

BigPaperBag · 10/02/2021 22:16

It’s only ever in the twilight world of MN where people are so paranoid about opening their doors 😂 I always open up, why not?!

RootyT00t · 10/02/2021 22:17

@Sparklingbrook

My neighbour knocked with a huge slice of home made cheesecake for me one evening Grin

Another neighbour knocked to say I'd left my car window open.

What a cheek eh?

That's twice you took your life in your hands!
JoyIsCounterfeit · 10/02/2021 22:17

I live in flats, with a communal hall. If someone 'presses the wrong bell' and is let in, sometimes it has proven to be: robbers, who tried all the doors until they got an unlocked one & went in; and yes, robbers. This time with guns. Not my flat, and only since 2 lousy neighbours have moved in, but still...it isn't all roses. I came from a village where we could leave the door unlocked but city life has kicked that out of me over the decades. Though the village isn't a community anymore, all snooty second homers & no shops or pubs...
I'll answer my intercom. The door stays shut!

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/02/2021 22:18

should the title have been "this is why sane people don't read the daily fail"?

BashfulClam · 10/02/2021 22:33

Thank god someone did answer the door to my friends son. He was set upon on his way home one night by a gang of older teenagers who were beating him with a metal bar. He managed to run as he thought ‘they are going to kill ke if I don’t get away!’ He banged on a few doors and finally someone let him in. I never leave my door unlocked though as my mum got her car stolen by done one who wondered in in a quiet town and lifted her keys.

Port1aCastis · 10/02/2021 22:37

Funny that the DM have a record of the incident but the Metropolitan police do not!

Pukkatea · 10/02/2021 22:53

I don't consider a child knocking at my door a good thing either.

TheSockMonster · 10/02/2021 23:16

People mentioning door chains reminds me of my dear late Great Aunt. We set up a key safe so carers and family could let themselves in, but she would insist on putting the old chain on too at night. Every so often she’d have a minor fall and struggle to get up so I took to keeping a £9.99 set of bolt cutters in my car.

I snipped through 3 sets of chains in total. It turns out that a set of £9.99 bolt cutters are to a door chain, what a pair of kitchen scissors are to a cable tie.

I would then screw another chain on and wait for the cycle to repeat itself...

iklboo · 10/02/2021 23:22

I'm glad people have had lovely experiences and surprises. That's lovely. But please bear in mind not all areas are like this. My parents can't leave their door open at any time of the day. Nobody where they live altruistically drops off cheesecake and flowers. Ever.

So can people please stop the snarky comments about people not opening doors to every caller or leaving the doors unlocked having mental health issues or being weird (with the bloody annoying crying laughing emoticon)?

cakewench · 10/02/2021 23:23

Just before the first lockdown, I heard someone shouting out on my usually very quiet street. I went upstairs, opened the window and looked out. I could see it was my elderly neighbours two doors down needing assistance, so I went down and over to theirs to see what was wrong (a passing car also stopped so I wasn’t alone).

They’d opened their door to someone knocking, who then barged in and stabbed the man’s hand to get his watch off, among other things, before running off. The people who did it went on to hit three more houses that evening, same pattern. All relatively early evening, but dark, like 7pm approx.

Basically, hell no I do not open my door to anyone knocking. Maybe during the day, but even then am very cautious, and happy for my second porch door which I try to keep locked after dark.

cakewench · 10/02/2021 23:24

And I can’t stress enough how quiet my area is. It is easily the safest part of the town we live near.

Sparklingbrook · 10/02/2021 23:27

I know @RootyT00t, although I did check through the window first just to be sure. Wink

QueenPaw · 10/02/2021 23:34

@KisstheTeapot14 I wish Sad
I live in an apartment with an intercom which no other fucker answers. If I don't answer, we don't get post
So I'll answer expecting the postman and it'll be the district nurse or the GP or a delivery or.. anything but actual post for me
More annoyingly I'm the only one WFH, all the others are retired

MustardMitt · 10/02/2021 23:37

People don’t answer the door on here in the main because they’re ‘not expecting anyone’, not because someone is potentially going to rob them.

If someone was shouting asking for help, I’d like to think I would open the door, and on the off chance they rob me my insurance would take care of that.

Having said that, I can see who’s knocking and it’s rarely not someone I am expecting. After dark I’m more cautious.

QueenPaw · 10/02/2021 23:37

I did once get really cross and shout when my buzzer went off. 3am I let the ambulance in for a neighbour. 4.30am the GP arrived. When it went off again at 6am I told them to force entry next time and if they weren't well enough to press answer on a buzzer then they shouldn't be at home Blush

noblegreenk · 10/02/2021 23:39

I have a locked porch, so I just open the internal door and if it's someone I don't want to speak to (sales, JW, beggars etc) I just tell them I'm not interested and go back inside. Same if it was an axe wielding weirdo!

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