I'm in a spendemic and I need help

[prettyindarkblack]

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I know that I obviously need to stop doing it but I just can't. I have bought at least one thing every single day for the past 2 months straight. I forgot what I ordered.

I realised I did in fact have a problem when a Chanel purse showed up I forgot I ordered. I am not rich, this isn't just any old thing to me.

I can afford it by using my savings, I earn a good salary, and I am not putting myself at risk of financial hardship. But I just cannot stop.
From ordering craft items to DNA testing my dog - anything I see, I buy. I just bought TWENTY SEVEN items on Mango.

I've been at home since March last year and I don't think I'll be back in the office until September/end of year. I am usually very frugal.

Is this happening with anyone else? The parcels arriving brought joy but now I feel numb. Help?

Yes, unsubscribe

I’ve gone the opposite way, I feel there is no point in Buying clothes or make up or shoes as I live rurally and in a pandemic (no office, not going out) it means all I wear is leggings and welly boots to walk the dog

I keep doing fantasy shops though, I have full baskets everywhere

Could you try and wait 24hrs before ordering?

I end up never actually clicking “order”

I was falling into that trap before Christmas. Did a massive wardrobe and skincare audit (they were the things draining my purse). Downloaded an app for my clothes called 30 Wears to try and encourage me to wear what I have. Made a list on my phone of all my skincare and am determined to use it up before I buy anything new. It made me realise how much stuff I have and didn't wear or use and how little I need. Am actually getting quite a lot of pleasure from wearing forgotten items and using all my skin treats I was saving (god knows what I was saving them for!) Also deleted a load of shopping apps and unsubscribed from mailing lists. It has definitely helped

Try watching a spendaholics episode or two as they went into the psychological reasons for people overspending quite well

I am in exactly the same position OP. I've decided I really want some ridiculously expensive trainers, and have promised myself that if I stop spending smaller amounts on other things, then I can buy the £400 trainers. It has helped a bit.

I also buy craft stuff, but have now told myself I need to finish one craft project before starting another one.

Will have a look at a spendaholics episode

[quote letmethinkaboutitfornow]@prettyindarkblack - which dog dna kit? (Hangs head in shame for missing the point completely!) 😂🤷🏻‍♀️😂🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
Wisdom Panel - the results were such a shock but honestly amazing - we can now see how it all makes sense. Highly recommend.

@Catscrat

I've definitely bought a lot online since Covid, but probably not spent more overall than I would if I were going to actual shops in normal times.

I think it's totally understandable to engage in behaviours that comfort us during a global pandemic, whether that's eating, drinking or, in your case buying. It does sound like your behaviour is bordering on addictive though. Do you feel like you have other outlets for negative emotions you might be feeling?

it's either this or eating or crafting that distract me.

Issue with eating is that I'll gain weight.
Issue with crafting is I then find I need something else cue buying things.

@readingismycardio

Ohhhhhhh, this thread hit home, it's almost like I wrote it 🙈

Same as you, I can afford it, and no financial hardship, but it's starting to get on my nerves. Every single day I find myself thinking about what to buy next.

During lockdown I replaced my whole drawer of underwear, after I read that you're supposed to do so every 6 months.

I think I need to go cold turkey rather sooner than later 🙈

YES this. It's not like I sit there twitching to buy something - it starts so casually.

My friend said she wants a new wardrobe and I thought 'hmm I haven't got any nice clothes, but nevermind I've no where to go' then she said 'ooo I love this jumper' but I loved the jumper too, so I went on to buy it, but then there was a sale...then I spent £500.

I'll read that it's good to have vitamins, so I order every vitamin I am aware I need.

I started crafting as a distraction, I have OCD so if I don't my mind goes to unwelcome thoughts, but this has caused more expense. In other news, does anyone need anything vinyled...?

Can you give your credit card/bank cards to friends to 'hold' for a few weeks and delete PayPal to maybe break the cycle?

I don't save my payment details online, or on site. This stops my late night spending habit as I can't be bothered to go and find my purse. It's my regulating factor. I do put things into my basket and the following day I often find I don't want them.

My husband couldn't understand why I didn't want Apple Pay set up until I explained why.

OP google CottageCore it's all about finding happiness in things we do not what we buy.

Every time you buy something you'll get a quick thrill and then a low, but if you're making something you can enjoy it longer.

I know this sounds sad but... one of the guys at work got into this habit. He got out of it by ... took up nature watch. Ticks off a list when he sees birds etc and doesn’t cost anything, gets him out with the kids too. Just trying to think of hobbies that don’t cost money! Or learning a language or free online drawing classes?

I was doing this out of boredom, it was stuff I sort of needed, but could have done without if you see what I mean. I have since turned my attention to the opposite, and selling stuff on eBay! Sorting out old clothes, shoes, and stuff, and have made a fair bit whilst clearing some space and saving it from landfill.

I do agree that things like removing your payment details can make a difference, usually I find that making it even a tiny bit harder means I often rethink. If you enjoy browsing stuff, could you maybe search Pinterest for inspo for your art instead?

The 30 wears website features clothes that cost per piece about what I spend over an average 6 months!

@toconclude I haven't looked at the website, I just downloaded the app and input all my Primark jeans and H&M stuff I'm using it as a record of what I wear and how I don't need anything else

If you're into crafting could you get into upcycling crafting? I'm into sewing and have spent too much on fabric. I keep seeing others on sewing groups making amazing things out of their own old clothes etc. It doesn't look re-used, just looks like great new clothes. Just wondering if you can challenge yourself to carry on your hobby but without spending. You've probably built up quite a stash of stuff already. Finish all the project you had planned before anything else new.

[quote birkenstocks4ever]@toconclude I haven't looked at the website, I just downloaded the app and input all my Primark jeans and H&M stuff I'm using it as a record of what I wear and how I don't need anything else[/quote]
Oh, sure the principle is good; just, blimey!

This used to be me but I've gone the other way. Selling loads of stuff on eBay and charity shopping the rest. I'm only spending on food and home improvements.

And holidays which we'll probably need to bounce to next year..

This sounds like something written by Daily Mail.

Yes. I’ve bought so much stuff. So many clothes, not even opened and stuffed into wardrobes. A carpet cleaner. Kettles, toasters. Cushions. Endless crap.

Me too. Today I clicked on 2 half price north face hoodies for the kids as I got a sale email. Also ordered a big hamper of sweet baked goods for Valentine's Day and a dress and vest top from M&S. All because of emails. No point even deleting my card details as I know all the numbers by heart. I'm still saving and covering my bills but it just feels like I am not fully in control of it. I did lose a few stone so I think I have just replaced my fix.

How do you delete card details from your phone? Is it easier to delete the apps? I’m the same and I’m saving for a house, really not in the position to be doing this

Me too Op. I don't have the covid as an excuse/reason though. Since 2017 I've lost my mum, dad, sister, grandad and aunt and I don't know how to deal with it so I buy things. I have a room dedicated to all the stuff I buy but like you I'm not getting myself or my family into trouble. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or really do anything aside from craft hobbies so I justify my habit that way. Try not to give yourself a hard time

I did a no shopping challenge for Lent with a group of people on Instagram last year. It was a good reset. This year I am doing only second hand (eBay, depop) with the same group. There’s a hashtag #lentreinvent if you fancy.

I have Amazon Prime so got into the habit of looking for small non expensive things to order which were free delivery. I need to justify that £7.99 a month. Pathetic I know.

I never spend much but on average since last March I have been online ordering once a week. My purchases could be for as little as a fiver or maybe up to £20 but never designer things. I would get no thrill from a designer label.