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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he’s being selfish

35 replies

FunRun4Some · 09/02/2021 16:56

Kids sent home from nursery today. Positive case in their bubble so they have to self isolate. DH and I both working from home.

I pick them up and say I’ll look after them for the rest of the day as he has a lot on at work and he says he can’t help today. This means I will need to do my work after the kids have gone to bed.

At 4 he came down and said he was going for a run. I said, hang on, I wanted to go for a run today but haven’t been able to as I’ve been looking after the kids so you can work. He said he needs to run everyday, I said I would look after the kids, and its up to him how he spends his time.

I feel this is unfair and he’s being selfish. He gets to do his work and go for a run. I’m left doing my work in the evening and no run. AIBU?

OP posts:
CanofCant · 09/02/2021 16:57

YANBU. Can you reverse roles tomorrow?

EL8888 · 09/02/2021 16:58

If it’s fine for him to do that today, then it’s fine for you do that tomorrow!

ParlezVousWronglais · 09/02/2021 16:59

Yes just swap round tomorrow so you can go for a run while he looks after them.

Nanny0gg · 09/02/2021 17:00

Please tell me you won't be cooking his dinner!

Selfish and unkind.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 09/02/2021 17:01

I can't believe anyone will say you are unreasonable, is he always a selfish arse?

updownroundandround · 09/02/2021 17:05

You absolutely need to do this to him !

How bloody dare he !

It's OK for him to

  1. Prioritise his work as more important than his DC.
  2. He then prioritises his non-work time as more important than his DW AND DC* !
  3. And he tells you to suck it up because it's up to him to decide what's more important for him AND you AND dc !!!!
CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/02/2021 17:06

Was his attitude a surprise or something you half suspected?

It sounds bloody awful. Yes, selfish, self absorbed. Yes he does seem to have designated you as 'lesser than'.

Fuck that, if it's part of who he is!

What the fuck was that? conversation if it was a one off!

CanofCant · 09/02/2021 17:07

Yes, make sure he understands that you looked after the kids today to your own detriment as a courtesy and out of kindness to him, not because you are the default parent.

Iloveacurry · 09/02/2021 17:09

Of course he’s being a selfish arse.

Tomorrow he can look after the kids and do his work in the evening.

updownroundandround · 09/02/2021 17:10

And I'd absolutely NEVER be fucking ''volunteering'' to do ANYTHING for him AT ALL !!

Bloody Arsehole !

I've really got the rage about this because you've come over as ''I'm not sure if I'm being ''unreasonable'' ?????? And HE'S all *fucking suck it up woman, I say what I'll do or not do, and how DARE you try to put YOUR needs above MINE !!!!

Talk about being a misogynistic arsehole ! FFS Angry

1FootInTheRave · 09/02/2021 17:10

Selfish nob head.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/02/2021 17:12

Why was his job automatically more important than yours?

HollowTalk · 09/02/2021 17:14

Really awful. He could've taken care of the children so that you could get some work done.

Blendiful · 09/02/2021 17:15

I’d be fuming at this too.

CanofCant · 09/02/2021 17:15

I've reread the thread and I'm even more annoyed for you OP, I hope he apologises and admits he has been a selfish dick but it sounds unlikely.

MiddleParking · 09/02/2021 17:20

I don’t even know what to suggest because I have no idea how you get to a point in a relationship where he would come down in those circumstances and let the words “I’m going for a run” leave his lips.

sofato5miles · 09/02/2021 17:22

What. A. Twat

doctorhamster · 09/02/2021 17:32

What. A. Twat

That about sums it up.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 09/02/2021 17:32

So tomorrow is your day to work, run, surf the internet, whatever. Then he has Thursday, you have Friday.

Don’t even think of helping with the kids tomorrow - his work is not very busy if he has time for a run at 4pm.

Affor · 09/02/2021 17:41

Tomorrow he does everything, regardless of work. When the kids come to you, say 'ask Daddy sweetheart' for everything. Then make sure you lounge in bed on your lunch break or something in his face and when he questions it say 'it's my time, I can spend how I like. Isn't that what you said?'

BlueThistles · 09/02/2021 17:52

he's a Prick

MiddleParking · 09/02/2021 17:53

@Affor

Tomorrow he does everything, regardless of work. When the kids come to you, say 'ask Daddy sweetheart' for everything. Then make sure you lounge in bed on your lunch break or something in his face and when he questions it say 'it's my time, I can spend how I like. Isn't that what you said?'
Even if this played out perfectly, which it wouldn’t, that only deals with one day, tops, of your husband thinking you’re akin to dirt on the floor. Then you’ve still got the rest of your life to deal with.
Pippa234 · 09/02/2021 18:01

He's certainly very selfish.

TwilightSkies · 09/02/2021 18:03

I’m sure he has form for this.

Ijustreallywantacat · 09/02/2021 18:08

Couldn't you have gone out for a run after he got back? Or asked if you could go first? He's been a dick i agree. Just keep your head and go tommorow, make sure you get your time in.

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