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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DP to WFH for one day

52 replies

hellhavenofury · 09/02/2021 08:46

AIBU for saying to DP just WFH for one day so I can use my car for my work. Basically it’s snowing here and we have 2 cars, I have a SUV perfect for this weather and he has a brand new sports car which really is not good in this weather. I WFH and have done for a long time but have an office as a base. He works in the office (education but not teacher) about half an hour away. He used my car to get there yesterday which was fine as I didn’t need it. However, today I need to go into my office to meet someone (it’s a 10 minute drive away) so I need my car. He can work from home, he is the boss of his company he just doesn’t like it and prefers to be in the office. He isn’t happy I need my car and is thinking about using his as it could be ok, yes I could but it also just needs to hit one bit of ice and his car will have no chance. I don’t see why it’s a big issue to WFH for one sodding day! If he goes in his and crashes his car, I will feel awful. I swear he feels his job comes before mine!! Who is BU here?

OP posts:
7yo7yo · 09/02/2021 08:49

Just take your car and let him crack on.
He’s a grown man who can make his own decisions.

aprilanne · 09/02/2021 08:52

Well if he wont wfh and he crashes his car he is an adult that's his problem

Ginevere · 09/02/2021 08:54

As PP have said, that’s his issue. Make it clear you don’t think he should drive his car and can easily wfh, then off you go. Leave him to make his own decisions, take your car.

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/02/2021 08:56

Don't reinforce his view that his job comes before your by letting him take your car.

NurseButtercup · 09/02/2021 09:01

YABU you are his wife not his mother. If he chooses not to wfh then that's up to him.

BiddyPop · 09/02/2021 09:02

As long as you have your own car for when you need it, it is up to him as a grown man to decide if he's sensible enough to wfh or stupid enough to go out in the unsuitable car. But that is his risk decision to make.

As long as you have your car when you need it and he knows he cannot rely on it as he feels like it.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/02/2021 09:09

YANBU. You, for once, need to go into the office and need your car to do it.
He chose to buy a car that isn't suitable in snow, so he needs to wfh today. He's lucky that he can borrow your car when you don't need it, he's not entitled to have priority for it.

SaltyTootsieToes · 09/02/2021 09:10

If your office is down some country lanes, then YANBU to not want to use your DH sports car

If your office is on fairly main roads, then YABU. Drive slowly and carefully, face a full tank of gas to weigh it down

I say this as I am using my DH tiny little porche to go food shopping as my DD is using my 4x4 to go to her temp job (temp for pandemic as her friend is decimated due to lock down).

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2021 09:11

Just take your car, what he does is up to him

lioncitygirl · 09/02/2021 09:12

Are you his wife or his mother? Just take your car back!

Godimabitch · 09/02/2021 09:14

Use your own car, what he does then is his business.

Greenevalley · 09/02/2021 09:18

Take your car.
Let him use his common sense.

ItsSnowJokes · 09/02/2021 09:38

If he chose to get the sports car, and he is choosing not to work from home then it is all on him. You are not responsible for his life choices. Crack on with your own car and let him work it all out. Maybe he will sell his mid life crisis sports car and get a more practical car so this doesn't happen to him again.

His job is not more important than yours.

Original poster
hellhavenofury · 09/02/2021 09:57

Yes!! My point to him is that if he takes his and he either gets snowed in at work or he gets stuck it will be ME going to rescue him and I have work to do!!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellhavenofury · 09/02/2021 10:04

Oh and his car is brand new and I haven’t driven it before so I don’t fancy driving it in snow for the first time!!

OP posts:
M0rT · 09/02/2021 10:05

Just tell him he will have to ring a recovery service or wait till your free if he gets stuck.
Remind him to bring a blanket in the car and a flask of hot water and then live your life.
I'm not unsympathetic, my DH is a poor planner and risk assessor and I used to take that on for him.
But all I got for my trouble was an eye roll when everything worked out fine because my organising was successful.
So now unless it directly impacts me I let him get on with it.
A few rebuffed attempts at making the problems he created for himself mine have cured him of the eye rolling also.
He even occasionally asks my opinion on what he should do now. Smile

honeylulu · 09/02/2021 10:08

What a twat. Wanted a poncy impractical Flash Harry car. Also wants first dibs over your car. And thinks his job is more important. Of course YANBU.

PurBal · 09/02/2021 10:08

Can you walk? You say it's a 10 minute drive, it takes me the same even though it's only a mile due to one way systems and traffic. If it's less than 4 miles I'd just walk. Not possible if it's 10 minutes on the motorway though.

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 09/02/2021 10:08

Take your car to work and don't even give it a second thought. If he gets stuck and needs rescuing - be unavailable.

Hoppinggreen · 09/02/2021 10:18

@PurBal

Can you walk? You say it's a 10 minute drive, it takes me the same even though it's only a mile due to one way systems and traffic. If it's less than 4 miles I'd just walk. Not possible if it's 10 minutes on the motorway though.
Why would she do that when she has a perfectly good 4x4 ?
FlyNow · 09/02/2021 10:19

I don't know OP, if the situation were reversed I'd find it very controlling if a husband was telling his wife when she can and can't drive (assuming they have a driver's licence and wasn't planning on anything illegal like drink driving).

ZoeTurtle · 09/02/2021 10:24

FlyNow ??? He has a car. OP isn't (and couldn't) telling him that he can't drive. He just wants HER car instead of his own because he bought a prosthetic dick instead of a useful vehicle.

Clymene · 09/02/2021 10:27

@FlyNow

I don't know OP, if the situation were reversed I'd find it very controlling if a husband was telling his wife when she can and can't drive (assuming they have a driver's licence and wasn't planning on anything illegal like drink driving).
She hasn't said he can't drive. Just that she wants to use her car.
Backtoschool101 · 09/02/2021 10:29

Can you drop him at the office and go to work and pick him up later on the way home?

Original poster
hellhavenofury · 09/02/2021 10:31

@Backtoschool101 I could in theory but that is an hour round trip when my office is 10 minutes away!

OP posts: