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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Valentines presents?

99 replies

ShutUpAlex · 09/02/2021 08:39

Yabu - it’s naff
Yanbu - we like to spoil eachother

Also, if you do buy presents, what sort of things do you buy?

OP posts:

Pwee · 09/02/2021 09:29

I can't really say either YABU or YANBU tbh as we do buy each other things for Valentines but never spoil each other for it. Talking like a card and some nice chocolates or flowers. I know some people who go crazy, like full on Christmas style piles of gifts. Never got that personally.

Sally872 · 09/02/2021 09:31

We don't bother with valentines but I don't think it is naff when other people do. Each to their own.

rc22 · 09/02/2021 09:34

We don't really do presents or cards but usually have a meal with a nice bottle of wine and sometimes get some chocolates in to share. We're both teachers and we tend to make a bigger deal of Valentine's Day when it falls in half term, as it does this year, than when it doesn't and it's a work night!!

BaggoMcoys · 09/02/2021 09:36

I've recently started seeing someone new, but we are old friends so our relationship is kind of ahead of where it would be if we were strangers. We've not had a valentine's Day yet and I have been wondering whether I should get something or not. I am hoping he gets me something, but I would understand if he didn't. I don't want to get something in case I look silly! I vote yanbu because I think it can be nice - though it kind of depends on the level of thought for me. If it's a romantic gesture then I like it, if it's going through the motions then I don't.

My longest term partner, now ex, didn't get me one valentine's day card in over 10 years together. It made me a bit sad. (I got him a card and little gift for valentine's a few times, but stopped eventually).

Fridaysgirl17 · 09/02/2021 09:38

We do cards & I always buy him a little something,nothing big or expensive,i love a card so that's all I ever really would like,my partner will get me a rose or flowers and a big choccy bar

BaggoMcoys · 09/02/2021 09:40

Oh but I wouldn't like something really crazy and extravagant for it. If it was like a second Christmas or birthday, I'd find that a bit much and kind of off-putting. I'd prefer something more along the lines of a rose or a little bit of tat that says I love you, rather than a designer watch and matching handbag.

Snowsnowglorioussnow · 09/02/2021 09:45

When we have money and time we have had some amazing valentines in Venice and New York..lovely hotels...

some years worn out - poor we do not bother beyond a card....its a lovely day....

this year I do have a special gift for DH and I am excited to give it to him! I am also hoping to make a beef wellington for the first time and....give the girls some chocs or sweets and a flower and card

FoxInSocks2 · 09/02/2021 09:45

We normally just do cards although my partner often buys me flowers. This year I've ordered some pick and mix plus picked up a valentines bear. I wouldn't buy a bear every year but now and again its a nice change.

We're also getting some nice food from Marks and Spencers as we don't drink.

Mistlewoeandwhine · 09/02/2021 09:46

I have bought DH a bottle of pear liqueur. No card though.

Ginevere · 09/02/2021 10:09

Normally we don’t bother, but what with all of last year being written off, plus the fact I am pregnant, so this is one of the last occasions we will get just the two of us, we’re doing it this year, and I’m quite excited!

Have ordered a special brunch and dinner to make at home and bought him a nice gin and some hotel chocolat. I imagine he’s ordered me a nice bunch of flowers as that’s what I always want!

JaquelineBeanstalk · 09/02/2021 10:11

I’ve ordered a hamper from a local deli, so cheese and meats, nice bread, Choc dipped strawberries. We will both get to enjoy that. We usually just do cards.

FraughtwithGin · 09/02/2021 10:12

Totally unnecessary and yet another intrusion and devaluation of British life and culture.
You can buy a loved one a present any time, in fact the thought and gesture are more valuable when not dictated by commercialism.

Londontown12 · 09/02/2021 10:40

My hubby’s earphones are tattered !
So I’ve bought him a new pair because he wouldn’t think to buy any because they still work 🤣 !
It’s nice to show your partner appreciation so I’ll cook him a lovely dinner as well !
I’ll let him put me wine all evening 😂

Londontown12 · 09/02/2021 10:40

Pour * I meant pour me wine 🍷

TinyCake · 09/02/2021 10:46

@Maryberryscake very nice they were too, I chose well. I'm wondering if I should write the card out to myself now.

AllMyPrettyOnes · 09/02/2021 10:47

We like it and it's also our anniversary haha please forgive me MN we were young.

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 09/02/2021 10:48

Chocolates and a card. I’ll make a nice dinner and that will be lovely.

StillGoingToWork · 09/02/2021 10:54

This year, nothing. But we aren't that romantic.

thecatsthecats · 09/02/2021 11:08

Our wedding anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas all fall November to January. By February we're done with gifts.

I like a nice home made meal or takeaway. Best thing when commuting was seeing all the people in the station taking home flowers and shopping bags of special food for the evening on Valentines day. Every other person seemed to have an M&S bag.

YerAWizardHarry · 09/02/2021 11:10

We usually do something like a bottle of alcohol (gin for me) and cook a nice meal

Mochatatts · 09/02/2021 11:10

Last valentines I got a massive bunch of roses, I was chuffed to bits (easily pleased) I got him some Deadpool pj bottoms, one of our fave films, some lemon cheesecake and made a heart out of post its on our bedroom door of all the reasons I love him. We were both very pleased. This year nothing planned as we're skint, thanks covid and due a baby on the 11th.

ErickBroch · 09/02/2021 11:16

We dont' celebrate valentines - get cards but that's it. Normally just get a nice dinner on the day! This year I bought him a new Wok and he's ordered me doughnuts. Wild

Chocolatecake29 · 09/02/2021 11:20

Normally bwe don't bother but the past year has been so shite that I'll take any little bit of celebration where we can take it right now. Keeping it simple though - cards, chocolate and a rare takeaway.

ChronicallyCurious · 09/02/2021 11:37

Usually instead of presents but we’d book into a nice hotel and pay half each as a present to each other, go for nice dinner and drinks and he’d buy me some chocolates or something.

Obviously we can’t do that this year so we’ve just said we’ll have a movie night with a takeaway and spend no more than £30 on each other. I’ve bought a new underwear set.

Bangable · 09/02/2021 11:48

No idea why being nice to your DH and choosing him a gift is considered naff, typical MN contempt for anything seen as remotely romantic, where admitting to any expression of love to one's DH is seen as a weakness

The MN cynics will hate me. I've just ordered my DH a card from Moonpig covered in photos of us and I've bought him an essential oil diffuser for his study, he loves lavender and covets the one I have on in our bedroom I'm going to make him a steak and ale pie and we'll have a romantic evening.

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