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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take daughter out of school for 5 days despite being out of school a year.

88 replies

Hatecuddles · 07/02/2021 22:25

My daughter is in year 3. She has been out of school now since March with no return at all. She has been in shielding the whole time.
She hasn’t seen any school friends / she hasn’t been to the park etc
For 6 months she didn’t live the house at all. Recently has been allowed on walks.
Anyway she was due to go Disney land in August just gone, it was moved to April but been moved again til September which will land in school time.
She has a life limiting illness and the original holiday was meant to be from a wish charity.
She has been doing remote learning every day. She hasn’t had an ounce of outdoor fun in a year. She is however behind in some subjects especially reading.
Doing well in
Maths / science / art and music.
The school are not going to authorise the holiday and say it’s very unreasonable to keep her off school for a holiday after a year off which I do understand but I also feel like she needs this so bad and I can’t bare to tell her it’s cancelled for good.
Would I be an awful parent to take her ?

OP posts:
Russell19 · 07/02/2021 22:44

Take her, I'm a teacher and still think you should take her. If I was her teacher I'd be telling you to take her.

ibelieveinangels · 07/02/2021 22:52

most definitely take her

JengaJanga · 07/02/2021 22:55

She has a life limiting illness
Im sure the school would allow it

Even if they dont.

TAKE HER! 100% !!

NotFabulousDarling · 07/02/2021 22:55

Another teacher here, I can't believe the school would be so heartless (I mean, I actually can believe it, but it's still awful)! Of course go!

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 07/02/2021 22:56

Take her OP Flowers

Ellie56 · 07/02/2021 22:57

Just take her. The school is being very unreasonable. Angry

Fieldofyellowflowers · 07/02/2021 23:00

I would take her. The school are being out of order on this one.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 07/02/2021 23:02

No brainer op. Go and have a wonderful time.

LittleBearPad · 07/02/2021 23:04

Take her. Say hello to Mickey.

Redshoeblueshoe · 07/02/2021 23:05

Take her, my relative who had a wish break was 100% supported by the school

Welshmaenad · 07/02/2021 23:06

Absolute no brainier. Take her and have a wonderful time. The Dibb forum has great advice on all the adjustments DLP make for children with disabilities, I took my daughter in her wheelchair six years ago and they were so helpful and accommodating.

DavidsSchitt · 07/02/2021 23:09

Go. Ignore the school

Original poster
Hatecuddles · 07/02/2021 23:11

Oh thankyou ! You have made me feel miles better. Her school don’t really “ understand “ her which I think has been a issue before and now.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 07/02/2021 23:15

Is there a chance of changing schools if they don't understand her?

stonebrambleboy · 07/02/2021 23:17

Take her and have a wonderful time together.

DenisetheMenace · 07/02/2021 23:19

Take your daughter, lovely, and have the most magical, memorable time together.

biddybird · 07/02/2021 23:24

Go.

Given the amount of time that's wasted in classrooms, you could make up any lost leaning with a day of home instruction, if necessary.

saraclara · 07/02/2021 23:44

She has a life limiting illness and they're putting a couple of weeks of education above a make a wish holiday? When she's been so terribly restricted for a year?

I'd be looking to change schools, to be honest. It makes me wonder what their attitude is to children. And I'm a retired teacher.

areyoumeop · 07/02/2021 23:51

Definitely go , enjoy the holiday and completely forget what the school say, some are sticklers for their rules while others seem to be a lot more reasonable and understanding.
We have had a postponed holiday and the dates offered/available will all fall within term term and if we can we will go. We also a few years ago got an unauthorised absence letter from the school for the last day of term !! and only because of flight times.

englishroseamongstirishthorns · 08/02/2021 03:53

I wouldn't do this. You need to make sure that she has the education she deserves and requires for her future. I appreciate that her condition is life limiting but she still needs an education and it's your job to give it to her. the plastic tack of disneyland is not a proper substitute for a proper education. You can take her another time if the charity allow and if they dont, then save up to take her.

CornishPastyDownUnder · 08/02/2021 04:00

I would100% be taking your daughter&probably throwing extra time in there too-i noticed years ago when homeschooling my kids just how little is lost and how much is gained by stepping back&making time to relax,reflect&laugh..its a cliche but people need to slow down&smell the roses etc..as im sure your DDs life-limiting condition has shown you life is precious&ur memories from this holiday will be so cherished💗have an amazing time x

HeronLanyon · 08/02/2021 04:06

Given everything in your post I’m pretty astonished at the school’s position. Did the writer of their response to you actually know the circs ? I would not hesitate to ignore them completely given everything.
Good luck and support. Also wanted to say how amazing your dd has done doing well in some subjects. Properly humbling. Good on her !

Berriesandpineconess · 08/02/2021 04:13

Take her ❤️

TiniestFluffiestBunny · 08/02/2021 04:38

Take her.

And look into changing schools if they don't understand her.

missnevermind · 08/02/2021 04:40

Many years ago and in nowhere near the extenuating conditions you have, I wrote to the children's school to inform them that we needed family time and gave them the dates we would be away. I had a letter back saying that the time off would not be authorised BUT a note at the end to say to enjoy the time together.