To not smell my daughter's armpits?

[RoseMartha]

This is a bit silly and lighthearted. But annoying at the same time. 🙄

My daughter had a bath with bath stuff in but did not use soap etc to wash herself, then when she got out wanted me to smell right in her armpits.

I said no.

She thinks I was unreasonable.

I told her it was unreasonable to expect me to smell a teenagers armpits.

And when she sits next to me I can smell them from there, especially as she hardly ever uses deodorant. (She has asd and issues with using deodorant and soap etc as doesnt like the feel of it). She does not care if she smells sweaty.

I told her that if I posted this on the internet I didnt think many people would think I should go right up to her armpits and smell them.

So here goes ... 🙂

I sniff Ds as he’s ‘nose blind’

Ds’s armpits that should read!

How and why are you reaching that conclusion? Did you see my post above, where I had a team member complain to me about someone else’s BO? I have never, and would never, call someone ‘disgusting’.

Oh good. Sorry. But I think it’s implied in the whole “unacceptable” thing. It is her body. If she wants to wash it, she can. It’s not the law. The parent’s job is to discuss the possible outcome of that, but not to force her to put deodorant on. Some people don’t want to put chemicals on their bodies.

I think if you actually have to have your nose in someones armpit to tell if they smell....then they probably are clean enough? If you can smell from sitting next to them, or walking past then they need to take more action.
After all in what situation (especially now!) is anyone going to be that close and personal with their nose that close up someone else's armpit?
My DS 11 is a bit of a soap dodger and at the moment he doesnt smell but I'm trying to train him that if he showers often enough (and actually washes in the shower) we wont know the crossover point when he starts to....

@AStudyinPink

She didn't want to shower and said the smell didn't bother her. I had to tell her that as she lives in a house with 4 other people, it's not her choice and whilst I don't need her to be smothered in perfume, she needs to be clean. Basic rules of living in a society.

They are not the “basic rules of living in a society” - they’re your rules. And you made your 11 year old cry telling her she stinks. Well done.

No I didn't. I made her cry telling her to go shower. But you go ahead reading what you want. I've made my children cry over lots of things. Making them put their iPads down, making them go to bed, making them eat dinner.

And if you think society is okay with a person stinking of BO, good luck getting a job/promotions whilst absolutely honking. I'm sure you'd do great. Your body, your choice, right? Just as it's someone else's right to open a window and walk away when you enter the room.

We had a teacher at school who had a awful BO problem - the whole classroom would smell but I assumed it was a medical issue.

This is something I am worried about with my suspected ASD 8yo dd. She hates having her hair washed, it's sensory overload and really stresses her out. She also does not like the smell of many soaps/body washes/ bubble baths. We haven't had to breach deodorant yet but I've been looking into Pitrock and the lush one mentioned upthread. I would have sniffed dd if I were you, I would have used it to lead into a discussion about how to fix it. At 15 can she research different deodorant options herself and maybe some different soaps/washes?

So far we have managed dd's aversion by having strict, non-negotiable washing routine. Shower every other night and hair wash on Wednesdays and Sundays. As she gets older this will have to be adapted to get more frequent but I'm hoping the clear expectations will help.

And if you think society is okay with a person stinking of BO, good luck getting a job/promotions whilst absolutely honking. I'm sure you'd do great. Your body, your choice, right? Just as it's someone else's right to open a window and walk away when you enter the room.

Yes, it is. But work is a different issue. These are not “society’s rules”, as you suggested. Your 11 year old should wash - of course - but I see no reason to force her in her home.

You’re the one being unreasonable, she’s your child

Wow very mixed responses. I dont need to get near her armpits to smell her.

I told her earlier when she was about a foot away. I dont think you have put deodorant on today.

To which she asked if I could smell her bo from where I was and I said yes, she agreed she had not.

@KatyClaire @NotFabulousDarling @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7

Thanks for ideas will look these up.

My dd is getting a bit whiffy now that she's becoming a teen. I make sure she showers daily or strip washes by the sink using the Dettol antibacterial soap I linked earlier.
It has a nice lemon scent and isn't too strong and then she uses a crystal deodorant. Same with feet, as soon as they come home from school they wash hands, face & feet. They then change their clothes and put on clean socks and or wear slippers.