Past breaking point

[Teachermum4]

I am a mum of 4 children under 11. I’m an SEN teacher and so is my husband. I feel so broken by all the media/ political/ forum hatred towards us that I can barely function now. My husband worked 24 hour shift patterns from March to September (residential school) and gave up his summer holidays to do so. I have been working in school and face to face over 50 hours per week throughout despite only being paid on a 0.6 contract. We are putting our children into childcare despite the risks and trying to home schooling my ‘days off’. I am not eligible for the vaccine despite wearing no masks/ no ventilation/ no social distancing and full school. Now every time I open Mumsnet/ media I see how others think I’m lazy, should give up summer holidays/ shut up. What more am I supposed to give?!

I have been working in school and face to face over 50 hours per week throughout despite only being paid on a 0.6 contract

Why?

I know it's easy to let the hate drown out the appreciation, respect, and love, but it is there. You are doing incredible work, in such hard circumstances. You are also more than what you do. You matter. You.

Because that is what is asked of me and needed to get the job done. It is a small school and there isN’t any more capacity to get it done.

Why on earth are you working 50 hours a week?

Why are your children in childcare and not in school?

I’m in a very similar situation (very similar actually; are you me?!)

The difference is that we were given “spare” vaccines. Is it an option for you to go on a list to receive the vaccines left over after health/social care workers etc have been vaccinated? 💐

Because that is what is asked of me and needed to get the job done. It is a small school and there isN’t any more capacity to get it done.

Look, please look again at your title: past breaking point. That’s not okay, is it? Whatever needs to be done, you matter as well. If you martyr yourself nobody will thank you. They’ll just disrespect you for being prepared to work full-time for a part-time wage and break your health in the process.

OP, Southwark council decided that SEN staff are frontline and have been vaccinating. Hopefully other councils will fall in line. Are you a member of a union that you can maybe band together with other members and see if you can push for this?

Honestly, take a break from the internet for a while. There are certain topics that I avoid because I don't have the mental strength to deal with it. It's so good.

Yanbu to be stressed and tired and totally done in

But in the nicest possible way very BU to listen to an echo room of a very limited view on a website

No one in RL that I know feels what you think people feel
No one wants school open in the summer (that I know ) ! I don’t

A I say gently to look after yourself but get the FUCK off the internet
It’s fake news , it’s not helping you

@AStudyinPink

Because that is what is asked of me and needed to get the job done. It is a small school and there isN’t any more capacity to get it done.

Look, please look again at your title: past breaking point. That’s not okay, is it? Whatever needs to be done, you matter as well. If you martyr yourself nobody will thank you. They’ll just disrespect you for being prepared to work full-time for a part-time wage and break your health in the process.

I know that logically this is right but I feel a responsibility to my pupils and to provide them with the face to face support but also remote learning for those who can’t come in. In small schools there are only a very small amount of teaching staff.

I don’t think most people think teachers are lazy at all, don’t read/listen to people who are talking out of their arses. Does sound like you need to take more control some of your own situation and risks though.

@TrustTheGeneGenie

Why on earth are you working 50 hours a week?

Why are your children in childcare and not in school?

How many hours do you think other teachers are working?

50 hours a week for a full time teacher is low when not in a pandemic. , The OP is 0.6 but at the moment full time are probably doing closer to 70 hours a week- all hours excess of 32.5 are unpaid.

Welcome to education.

I know that logically this is right but I feel a responsibility to my pupils and to provide them with the face to face support but also remote learning for those who can’t come in.

And that is your responsibility: 0.6 of each working week. It is not your responsibility to do the other 0.4.

It.is.a.job.

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Yanbu to be stressed and tired and totally done in

But in the nicest possible way very BU to listen to an echo room of a very limited view on a website

No one in RL that I know feels what you think people feel
No one wants school open in the summer (that I know ) ! I don’t

A I say gently to look after yourself but get the FUCK off the internet
It’s fake news , it’s not helping you

Thank you. That helps. I think that’s what I needed to hear. Thank you.

You can't have it both ways op. You can't expect to do way more than is expected of and then want a balance in your life. And what about your own family? You have 4 kids and I'm sure they need you as well.

Do the hours you're paid for - it doesn't matter what your job is, employers walk all over anyone who works for nothing.
And stop caring about what strangers write (out of boredom) on social media. Better still, give up social media - it doesn't add anything positive to your life.

How many hours do you think other teachers are working?

The teachers in our school certainly aren't working 50 hours. Nor would I expect them to.

50 hours a week for a full time teacher is low when not in a pandemic. , The OP is 0.6 but at the moment full time are probably doing closer to 70 hours a week- all hours excess of 32.5 are unpaid

You do not have to do this.

Welcome to education

Again, not compulsory to be a teacher.

@TrustTheGeneGenie

Why on earth are you working 50 hours a week?

Why are your children in childcare and not in school?

2 are under school age and for the other 2 key worker provision is only 9.30- 2 and we both work much longer days than that.

@astudyinpink
Exactly this! Ultimately, your pupils are their parents' responsibility - not yours. At least, not for 40% of the week.
Nobody is indispensable. You're actually doing someone else out of a part-time job!

I’m sorry that you’re seeing hatred, that’s horrible but please try not to take it personally. I’m very grateful for my DDs SEN teachers for all that they do.

So instead of sending them to school you're presumably paying for childcare and then attempting to home school at the weekend even though you work PT?

Op in the kindest way possible, you're making your own life hard.

Do the hours you're employed to do. Loom after yourself and your own children first. A job is a job. Your kids and your own bloody health are more important.

Ask them to pay you for some of your overtime from the Covid Catch Up grant?

Hide AIBU and the Coronavirus topic. Stay off Twitter and unfollow any Facebook groups where you’re seeing these comments. People are so full of anger at the moment and are venting it into the void. Don’t listen.

Hi OP

First off, thanks for all you are doing - can assure you the vast vast majority of people really appreciate it.

However, I do think you need to toughen up your boundaries - if you are working 50 hours, then at the very least you should be being paid FT, or alternatively you’d be quite entitled to cap your hours to what you are being paid for.

Your job is very important of course, and I realise SEN kids have greater needs and it may be harder/ unsafe for them to be at home - but this isn’t something you should be taking fully onto your shoulders.

You can only do what you can reasonably do, and your first duty is to tend to your health and then the care of your own kids, partly because you matter, but also because you can’t function as a parent or a teacher if you fall apart.

So please start taking care of yourself and pushing back.

Teacher here...it is bloody hard at the moment and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is for you and the levels of pressure you must be under in an SEN setting. I don’t engage with any teacher bashing threads on here and I refuse to read any articles bashing us.
Guard your heart...we do a good job and we work hard. People who don’t have the first clue about teaching love to have an opinion but unless you are one at the moment, you’re not going to get it. That simple.
Thank you for all that you do - don’t forget though, it’s okay to set boundaries. We are dispensable at work, we are indispensable to our children.

Are you getting paid for the overtime?
If yes and you want the money and can cope with the hours - then fine. But clearly it’s a no to the latter.

You’ve got 4 kids. Why does your feeling of responsibility to the kids at school outweigh yourself feeling of responsibility to them?

You have to make a better decision for your health - that’s in your hands.

As to hatred towards teachers? Not in the media I’m reading 🤷🏻‍♀️

You might get individual threads here about specific teachers. Some of my daughter’s are doing fuck all, when I compare it with other subject teachers - who are being absolutely amazing.

But overall? I find sites like this and the media in general very sympathetic to teachers. If you don’t - get off those sites.

I think you’re interpreting them more negatively because of how you’re feeling. I’ve seen plenty about teachers working holidays. NO-ONE is saying - lazy bastards, having it easy now - make the leeches work the summer! They’re just throwing out ideas for discussion - could summer schools be an answer?

You need to make the positive changes for your own well-being. Limit your hours, step away from media, resolve not to take media you are exposed to personally.

Take care of yourself!!