Past breaking point

[Teachermum4]

I am a mum of 4 children under 11. I’m an SEN teacher and so is my husband. I feel so broken by all the media/ political/ forum hatred towards us that I can barely function now. My husband worked 24 hour shift patterns from March to September (residential school) and gave up his summer holidays to do so. I have been working in school and face to face over 50 hours per week throughout despite only being paid on a 0.6 contract. We are putting our children into childcare despite the risks and trying to home schooling my ‘days off’. I am not eligible for the vaccine despite wearing no masks/ no ventilation/ no social distancing and full school. Now every time I open Mumsnet/ media I see how others think I’m lazy, should give up summer holidays/ shut up. What more am I supposed to give?!

I’m an (ordinary) part time teacher myself. Also in a small school.
I couldn’t do your job for any money. I simply don’t have the patience required.
I am also working approximately double my normal hours at the moment. In school as usual and then hours of online planning, marking and firefighting.
I also agree with others. Get off all media that makes you feel more crap.
I would also say try and find a way to set some boundaries for work. After the first fortnight I decided to make Saturdays and certain hours in the week sacred- no work.

@TrustTheGeneGenie

How many hours do you think other teachers are working?

The teachers in our school certainly aren't working 50 hours. Nor would I expect them to.

50 hours a week for a full time teacher is low when not in a pandemic. , The OP is 0.6 but at the moment full time are probably doing closer to 70 hours a week- all hours excess of 32.5 are unpaid

You do not have to do this.

Welcome to education

Again, not compulsory to be a teacher.

How is that helpful or supportive to the OP, who is clearly struggling?

And to the OP - I wonder if there is any news regarding SN setting workers being vaccinated soon? I know it's happening in my area. I'm sorry you're experiencing such a hard time at the moment.

I’m in awe of everyone who is teaching and I appreciate my daughter’s teachers hugely. Just like you they show up every day with so much care and enthusiasm and my daughter would never know they are struggling. I’m very aware that you’ve been dealt a tough hand in terms of lack of protection from covid too. I don’t know anyone in real life who thinks teachers are lazy but I know many who think you’re doing a wonderful job. It’s a hard enough situation already without doing way above and beyond what you’re contracted to do. You need to put some boundaries in place so you can protect your mental health and be at home with your children on what should be your days off. I hope things get easier for you and please don’t doubt that many parents will be so grateful for your hard work but you must prioritise you and your family too and stop doing hours of overtime.

Thank you for the kindness on this thread. It is very much appreciated. I know that some of it is of my own making but it is so difficult to switch off and say 'no' when there is no-one left to fill the gap. My job is in a Pupil Referral Unit and I know that the pupils need us very much. I also know my own children need me but they also need a roof over their heads and food on the table that my pay helps to provide. It is not ideal and I want to do my bit but it is the negativity that really gets to me. I should stop reading it but it is hard not to.

TBH you are coming across as a bit of a martyr.

Maybe if you weren't working additional hours for no pay, you would have more time for your own family and yourself?

@lockdownalli

TBH you are coming across as a bit of a martyr.

Maybe if you weren't working additional hours for no pay, you would have more time for your own family and yourself?

Maybe you are right and I need to re-evaluate but I genuinely do care and it is not quite as simple as being a 'martyr' when working with vulnerable young people.

It is so difficult to switch off and say 'no' when there is no-one left to fill the gap

You're right, it is ... but it gets easier with practise and nobody's going to thank you for martyring yourself

I absolutely believe you that there aren't enough staff to get the job done, but while you continue to do this there never will be so it's not really addressing the problem (which isn't your responsibility to solve anyway)

I feel a responsibility to my pupils

Your very first responsibility is to look after yourself. If you let yourself be worn out then you wont be able to help anyone. Not your vulnerable pupils and not your own children. You are responsible to your pupils for 0.6 of a working week. Even if you put in a bit extra you're still not responsible for them 50 hours a week.

You know the saying "put your own oxygen mask on first"? Well that's what you have to focus on now.

@ilovesooty

How is your comment helpful?

Thank you for everything you and your partner do for these children and their parents. SN kids and their families have suffered much in the pandemic.
Past breaking point isn't ok; something will eventually break. It's not long until half term, try and take a proper rest then and think about options open to you.
People like you are truly valuable

[quote TrustTheGeneGenie]@ilovesooty

How is your comment helpful?[/quote]
I posted to express sympathy for the OP. My comment to you was intended as an observation, not to be "helpful ".

Maybe you are right and I need to re-evaluate but I genuinely do care and it is not quite as simple as being a 'martyr' when working with vulnerable young people.

It is. They’re not your kids. You are paid to provide a portion of what they need, and your first responsibility is to your own family.

As they say on planes, put your oxygen mask on before you help anyone else.

Op, you are feeling attacked and you are defending yourself but actually nobody is attacking you personally at all. It sounds as if you have taken the weight of the world's problems on your shoulders.

This is not good for you, your mental health, your family or your children.

Problems will always be there no matter what so you need to switch off and practice mindfulness and give yourself some TLC.

Only work the hours you are paid and if you feel bad, work out why you feel you are not important?

Talk to your union and head if you need to but at the end of the day, you are responsible for your self and your dc and you need to be the best you can be outside your work, the ability to unwind, refresh, these are as important as your contact hours don't forget!

@Newstaronhorizon

As they say on planes, put your oxygen mask on before you help anyone else.

Op, you are feeling attacked and you are defending yourself but actually nobody is attacking you personally at all. It sounds as if you have taken the weight of the world's problems on your shoulders.

This is not good for you, your mental health, your family or your children.

Problems will always be there no matter what so you need to switch off and practice mindfulness and give yourself some TLC.

Only work the hours you are paid and if you feel bad, work out why you feel you are not important?

Talk to your union and head if you need to but at the end of the day, you are responsible for your self and your dc and you need to be the best you can be outside your work, the ability to unwind, refresh, these are as important as your contact hours don't forget!

This is very sensible straight talking. Thank you.