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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DB is going on holiday to SA tomorrow

52 replies

viktoria · 06/02/2021 22:48

DB called me about two hours ago and said that he had a surprise to tell me:
he and his wife are setting off on a 2 week holiday tomorrow. To South Africa.

They were meant to go last April and obviously had to re-schedule. He said that they are flying to Jo'burg, then hire a car and drive to Kruger and then will go to the beach on the east coast near Durban.

He said they hadn't told many people. But it's not illegal (they live in Germany).
I think he only told me because he asked me to try and arrange booking a covid vaccination for our mum (who is 84 and who I haven't seen for a year, because of covid).

I literally couldn't say anything to him other than "I have to go, we're having dinner. Have a nice time"

But I'm angry - it's entitled and selfish. I can't understand why anybody HAS to go on holiday at the moment. I would love to. But I don't think it's right. And I'm ok to wait for a time when travelling is safe again.
AIBU?
Am I too judgemental?

So not to drip feed - I'm not close to my DB.
He is 4 years older than me. We both were at boarding school (different ones). He went away to school when I was 6 and we would only see each other some weekends and during holidays.
He has three kids, admittedly, the elder two are 21 and 19, but the younger one is 16, and obviously not at school at the moment.
Nowadays, we mainly are in touch to discuss care arrangements for our mum who has dementia.

OP posts:
JackieweaverhasALLtheauthority · 06/02/2021 22:50

if it is legal then i don't see the problem. i'd sure as hell be going ANYWHERE i had the chance to. I am sick of looking at the same 4 walls.

CrocodilesCry · 06/02/2021 22:51

Erm, there's a travel ban between Germany and South Africa. How does he plan to get home?

southafrica.diplo.de/sa-en/sa-consular/-/2321192

Original poster
viktoria · 06/02/2021 22:52

As German citizens they will be allowed to return

OP posts:
CrocodilesCry · 06/02/2021 22:54

They're monstrous idiots OP. But I think you already know that.

strawberriesontheNeva · 06/02/2021 22:55

I wouldn't worry about it . Even without the covid risk SA is a very dangerous country for tourists. He's an adult . I'd just let him get on with it.

Disneyforever1974 · 06/02/2021 22:55

Whilst I can understand why you maybe angry, he isn’t actually doing anything illegal for the country he lives in. Lets hope he doesn’t get the SA version of COVID. As regards his children there is nothing wrong with leaving a 16 year old with 19 & 21 year old siblings. As for your mum she should have already had the jab and he’s not likely to be able to get into the country to see her.

Clymene · 06/02/2021 22:59

Your mum should have already been contacted for her vaccine. You shouldn't have to do anything

Original poster
viktoria · 06/02/2021 22:59

@Disneyforever1974

Whilst I can understand why you maybe angry, he isn’t actually doing anything illegal for the country he lives in. Lets hope he doesn’t get the SA version of COVID. As regards his children there is nothing wrong with leaving a 16 year old with 19 & 21 year old siblings. As for your mum she should have already had the jab and he’s not likely to be able to get into the country to see her.
My mum has not been able to be vaccinated yet. Where my mum lives, vaccinations can only be booked from Monday onwards.
OP posts:
lljkk · 06/02/2021 23:01

Does he normally phone you to tell you about last minute travel plans?

I don't know how families usually work.

Original poster
viktoria · 06/02/2021 23:06

@lljkk

Does he normally phone you to tell you about last minute travel plans?

I don't know how families usually work.

Not usually. We generally tell each other of travel plans to make sure that we aren't both away at the same time in case our mum needs us. But obviously since last March I haven't been able to see my mum at all.
OP posts:
Floridaflipflops · 06/02/2021 23:08

He is probably going to catch it. It’s really bad in SA

BeaSmithers · 06/02/2021 23:17

You sound very bitter and jealous OP. Why does it bother you so much?

JayAlfredPrufrock · 06/02/2021 23:19

Oh dear lord do not tell me this.

The Kruger is my spiritual home.

Sob.

daisypond · 06/02/2021 23:22

@BeaSmithers

You sound very bitter and jealous OP. Why does it bother you so much?
She really doesn’t. And can’t you work out why shy might be a tad annoyed?
Chloemol · 06/02/2021 23:23

@BeaSmithers

You sound very bitter and jealous OP. Why does it bother you so much?

What a nasty comment. Read the posts, that explains why.

In case you are not aware SA have a very nasty variant, I bet the German Giver meant will be very happy two stupid people decide a holiday is far more important

1990s · 06/02/2021 23:23

@BeaSmithers

You sound very bitter and jealous OP. Why does it bother you so much?
Oh come on. Anyone wi the half a brain understands that travelling anywhere for a holiday at this point is not a great idea.

To go to South Africa when there is a travel ban between your countries just because “legally” it’s ok, is pretty batshit.

I’m sorry OP, he’s an absolute arse. I’d be thinking about how much contact I wanted to have with him going forward.

It sounds shit Flowers

Positivevibesonlyplease · 06/02/2021 23:24

He’s a fool.

LaurieFairyCake · 06/02/2021 23:27

Surely IF there's a ban he can't go Confused

If it's legal and he can then fine - I wouldn't because all the reasons but I don't have time to judge legal acts...

SunsetSenora · 06/02/2021 23:27

@BeaSmithers

You sound very bitter and jealous OP. Why does it bother you so much?
Wow! What a horrible post. I agree, anyone travelling for a holiday at the moment is prolonging this misery.
EileenGC · 06/02/2021 23:29

I live in Germany, it's certainly not illegal. But I also see why he hasn't told many people - no one would agree with him!

It's selfish to jet off to SA right now. Germany's cases are extremely low after almost 4 months of continuous lockdown. The British and SA variants have been successfully contained. It looks like in 2 weeks restrictions could start being lifted (some states at least).

Why do selfish people decide this would be a good time to holiday in South Africa, of all places? I say this as someone who is still traveling for work, but I'm definitely not going to countries my government has declared 'extremely high risk'.

There is a travel ban. He might be a German citizen but he'll probably struggle to get back. There are thousands of African citizens who can't be repatriated because there aren't enough flights, yet he's taking a spot to go on holiday. I assume he also plans to ignore the digital passenger registration, Covid tests and quarantine requirements on return?

Selfish. This is not what people have been pulling together for all winter.

Turnedouttoes · 06/02/2021 23:30

I sympathise OP I’d be fuming as well. I know he’s not in the U.K. but it’s a piss take that people like him seem to think the rules don’t apply to them.

I was in a zoom call last night with a friend who was moaning about how bored she is in lockdown despite the fact she spent a month visiting family abroad over Christmas. We’re in London so the rest of us on the call were at home not seeing our families over Christmas and one of the girls was totally on her own. I really had to bite my tongue and not snap at her

notimagain · 06/02/2021 23:32

@LaurieFairyCake

Surely IF there's a ban he can't go

If you read the website linked upthread you'll see it's not much of a "ban", certainly not when it comes to entry to Germany from SA

The list of exemptions is as long as your arm and includes exemptions for German citizens and also "third country nationals with permanent residence and lawful residence in Germany"..

LaurieFairyCake · 06/02/2021 23:34

Then it's not a 'ban' Grin

So it's legal

sowhatsnext · 06/02/2021 23:35

If your not particularly close why not just think of it as if you’d seen a news article about Germans going on holiday to SA - you’d think what tossers and 10 minutes later move on. You can’t change it, won’t change anything by upsetting yourself over it. X

Norabuzz · 06/02/2021 23:40

Oh OP, I'd be really upset too. No one should be travelling right now!! Very selfish behaviour.

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