To get a NHS autism assessment

[Cruncheyleaves]

For the last 2 years I've had waves of over thinking that I'm autistic. I'm in a wave now. I can't get it out of my mind. My brother is autistic, quite clearly. Diagnosed when he was young. I'm 34. Sometimes I think I just have a few traits but not enough to be classed as autistic and I get close to accepting that but then other times I analyse myself over and over to try and group together all the traits to see if it could amount to an autism diagnoses. So clearly I don't accept it.

Things that make me think I could be autistic are...

I'm a slow processor.
I'm a slow learner. I was about a year behind to learn to read and write. Rarely make eye contact when I'm talking.
I take a long time to feel comfortable around people. Like a few years.
When I'm stressed I get withdrawn. This causes issues with my DP.
I've been told many times I have resting bitch face and that people can't read me.
I'm very sensitive to criticism or perceived criticism.
I'm clumsy.
I'd describe myself as a bad communicator.
I have a mental block when it comes to writing. I avoid it.
I struggle to adjust to different temperatures, it takes me longer than usual. Like I have to make sure I arrive early to things because if I walk somewhere in the cold and then get to a room temperature building I go into a hot sweat which is embarrassing and then I get flustered and my communication skills get worse.
I don't like the beginning of any book I read, any programme I watch, new clothes. I tend not to like new places until I've been there a few times. I have to power through all these things as I know my pattern, but it's exhausting and I might not like it anyway!
I cry a lot. At least once a week.
I struggle to talk in a groups. Even when it's my friends.
I struggle without a routine. I struggle to be productive unless the day before I have wrote a to do list. This sounds so silly but I literally can't find the motivation to do something in the moment even if I know I want to do it, unless I've wrote it down the day before.

Things that make me feel I'm not autistic...

I think I'm very empathetic.
I have friends.
I did learn to read and write in the end. I have a good job.
I don't have any sensory issues that I can think of.

So far I've not been able to bring myself to talking to my GP about it as I feel like I shouldn't be using up NHS resources when I'm clearly not struggling as much as some people. I can't afford a private one.

Not sure of the purpose of this post. But it was good to get it down. It would be good to hear any similar experiences or thoughts.

Lack of empathy isnt necessarily a cut and dry autistic trait. Some of us have hyper-empathy and feel other people's feelings acutely.

What would a diagnosis give you, do you think? The Autism Research Centre has a lot of the screening questionnaires available for free on their website. Would it give you some peace of mind to go through those questionnaires and see if you meet criteria?

You can have the strengths you have listed, empathy, friends, and literacy skills and still have autism. You are more likely to have it if you have a sibling with autism, and would have been less likely to have been diagnosed in the past if you are female and academically able. If you feel it would help you I would approach your GP for an assessment. Often they will ask you to do the AQ50 as a first step to identify autistic traits before referring you for an assessment. It can be a long wait for an assessment and it is not always available in all areas, but you won't know unless you ask.

I would (and have) make a list like your post and take it to your GP. The adult pathway can take years.

I also think empathy is a tricky one - a lot of people on the spectrum feel very aware of other people’s emotions, though this can be experienced as an unwelcome and sometimes distressing intrusion into their own emotional space, which isn’t quite what an NT person might understand by the term empathy.

I am in a similar situation OP although a good ten years older than you. I have a child with ASD and many of my family are convinced I do too. I did ask a psychiatrist about an assessment but she laughed and said I don't look autistic so where to go next?

Could be something else like dyslexia/dyspraxia/SPD unfortunately you d have to go private to look into those.

My DH has friends and is very sociable. He was diagnosed ASD at 4 years old. He is very good at his job too. It is a very broad spectrum.

Bombylious that's really interesting. My dsughter is autistic and scored very high on the empathy questionaire - yet one school teacher scored her low on empathy. I wasnt sure if she jusg ticked that becauee she misassociated it with autism or because she came across like that to others.

Ive regularly wondered if Im autistic. I dontnhave the stereotypical male traits and dont come up on the short quizzes which are male-trait based but I am very very like my daughter.

I just wondered if I did this too. Can you tell me what it would look like?

Read about autism in women its not what you expect and much more complex usually. I got diagnosed at 30 and its been so much better for me to understand and recognise.

My doctor dismissed me too. Ive assumed adhd for years and years but only since my daughter was diagnosed wondered about autism. So much of my oddness as a child was put down to being ridiculously bright (super high Iq) yet as an adult I've struggled with the jobs Ive had.

@TryingNotToPanicOverCovid

My doctor dismissed me too. Ive assumed adhd for years and years but only since my daughter was diagnosed wondered about autism. So much of my oddness as a child was put down to being ridiculously bright (super high Iq) yet as an adult I've struggled with the jobs Ive had.

This is it. I also have a high IQ with problem solving patterns etc but my basic day to day functioning can be low. Sometimes a single phone call leaves me writing the rest of the day off. I cant seem to hold down a job for very long.

I’m similar, lot of traits but overall able to manage, just about. I’m too empathetic and other people’s feelings affect me too much. DD is diagnosed. She’s average aged in literacy so I’m not sure that’s a definite sign.

However, there’s no point having an assessment, in my mind, because there’s no support afterwards, in most areas. DH knows he’s got traits, more typical ones than me and was told it was unlikely assessment would help him. You know you have these traits and some of them are impacting your life. So you need support for these. Finding a therapist who has autism experience is likely to help. Although, again, unlikely to come via the NHS. It shouldn’t be like this but it is.

Yep if I could get a job doing iq tests, or even studying, I would be fine! I was a fab teacher, but couldn't keep up with the pace (although not uncommon for teachers).

I dont think I had the skills to find myself a well paid career - but if Id been in the right job I would have followed the rules and worked my way up. I liked achieving and doing well at school and was unbelievably bright looking back. I think I needed help making the leap to a fulfilling career.

I struggle now with the multiple demands of meals for fussy eaters/housework (I struggle with) and the little work I do do. Constant frustration of knowing my brain is super clever yet not managing the simple things most local people manage who are normal!

My autistic child has friends and is ahead on reading any can write really well.

the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

However there is nothing wrong with you investigating how you feel. Lots of adults are now being diagnosed, it’s harder for girls to get a diagnosis from what I understand.

You can try but don't expect much. I went with a list similar to what you have written except with some others bits and pieces on it. I was made to take a test with the GP by answering a handful of questions. Because I was one point short of what was required for me to get onto the adult pathway, I was outright told I do not have autism. Turns out, I do. I ended up getting a private diagnosis where my clinician there was gobsmacked I was turned away due to missing out on one point. He quite rightly said how it is a spectrum and how everyone doesn't fit neatly into this little box. It hasn't changed my life knowing I have autism but it has helped me understand myself a lot more and explained a lot of my past. So yeah as I say, don't go in expecting miracles. Expect to be knocked back but I wish you good luck.

I've managed to help 3 clients get assessed, in each case, they were found to have ASDs to varying degrees, and they all found it helped immensely in helping them come to terms with the difficulties they had experienced.

One of them was particularly pleased because his psychiatrist had told him emphatically that he wasn't autistic, and put that in writing, and the client took great delight in sending him a copy of the report that said he was!

I was diagnosed by the NHS at 40. The fact that you are obsessing about it so much is quite a good indicator.

Get on the waiting list as it's likely to be a couple of years. You can change your mind and pull out at any time.

By the way, I still question it over 3 years on.

Lakielady what do you do? I'd like help with itif I ever sid it and having another professional agree would help!

I agree about thinking what a diagnosis would mean for you. In lots of areas its a lengthy waiting list (aprox 2 years) and no-limited follow up support.

However sometimes having a diagnosis can help explain things, ask for reasonable adjustments at work. Obviously you don't have to wait to be diagnosed to start putting in strategies in life that are likely to help.

Weigh up the advantages and disadvantages. A diagnosis is not a cure or even a treatment. How will you feel in 30 or 40 years, when as an older woman your views will be marginalised by health and social care staff anyway, to have those people make assumptions about your ability to make judgements and look after yourself, because you have this on your medical notes.

I was diagnosed in my 30s. I sound very similar to you except I have sensory issues. I was referred through my Gp. I did wait 18 months for my assessment but things have sped up since then.

Being diagnosed has made a big difference to me. I disclosed it with work (I’m NHS staff). I get better understanding of my needs, how ASD relates to some of my absences. With a diagnosis you are entitled to request an assessment for reasonable adjustments too. The main thing is I understand myself better. I am kinder to myself because I don’t try to be Neuro-typical any more. I don’t push myself to work extra shifts because I get tired. Some days I do just need to stay home and veg. I can’t do as much as most people and that’s okay.

The alternative to GP referrals or private is to look at Autism charities who do assessments. Many of them ask for a charitable donation of what you can afford.

Really? I didn't know about charity assessments.

My daughter, in her forties, was diagnosed last year. Her diagnosis has helped her to accept what she calls her weirdnesses. Her sunflower lanyard has helped when she's shopping. She has a successful life, happy marriage, children, is at university doing a Masters. I hadn't ever thought she was autistic, but now it's obvious, and memories from her childhood look different now I have her diagnosis.
One point you made, that you don't have any sensory issues. I'd say disliking new clothes and the temperature thing may be sensory issues.
Girls often mask very successfully, which is why it appears that more boys are diagnosed. I think one of the advantages of diagnosis is that you may then be able to drop the masking, which in itself is probably exhausting and stressful.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of getting a diagnosis, OP?

I was assessed at the Autism Research Centre about eight years ago because I wanted to know if I had autism or not. I was glad to have an answer - yes, I am on the spectrum - but it has not helpful for me in any material way, ie I don't get any kind of disability allowance and it hasn't changed anything in my professional life.