To wish I was 15 again

[Btvs]

I seem to be experiencing a form of extreme nostalgia relating to mild depression I suspect.

I don’t know if it’s due to the monotony or the lack of excitement in life right now but I find myself remembering myself at 15 (I’m 39) and how everyday was full of feeling and excitement.

I was in the midst of my first love, had lots of friends who I shared all my hours with talking and giggling on the phone, fridays would be sneaking off up town to pubs and clubs and I would actually enjoy school in a social way. I had my mum and dad around and life was full. Life just felt so vivid and full of hope and excitement and adventure.

I don’t feel anything like that anymore. I love my husband but we, like everyone else, are getting fed up of each others solo company. We don’t want children so I am lucky to have a lot of free time but I cant say I am finding this easy anymore. Every day just bleeds into the next and I wasn’t even hugely sociable before, but I am genuinely scared I’ll never feel truly alive like that again.

What period of time would you go back to if you could, to escape lockdown dreariness?

I think the thing about your teen years is that for most people - you don't really have much responsibility. No mortgage/rent, bills, job, marriage - bar doing OK at school and pulling your weight at home, all your time can be spent on 'fun'. You're also naive, not hardened by experience. Ignorance is bliss as they say! I know there are exceptions to this and not every child has a nice upbringing, but on the whole it's a relatively care free time.

But then I don't think I'd like to relive it again - being a teenager is hard too - you're hormonal, you feel things very intensely, you don't really know yourself yet and can feel uncomfortable in your skin. An argument with a school friend can be as devastating as an intense tragedy. As you get older things get harder but at least you learn to develop resilience and have more confidence in yourself.

I think I'd go back to age 20-21 if I could, but with my current confidence and self awareness. I had a fab time, I was at university living in a city with all my friends nearby, I went out a few times a week and snogged lads and mixed awful drinks. It was great, but I quite like being in my 30s too.

When I first moved to London. I was around 26. Had a fabulous decade of working hard, going out lots, getting drunk and dating. Then I met my husband and he ruined all my fun

I hated my teenage years. I was grumpy and hormonal, mostly.

18-21 . Clothes, holidays , dancing , drinking and boyfriends and little responsibility

For me it was the music and nothing else so I play my 80s stuff or 1984 Duran Duran concert, I can forget about cooking bills , makes me feel much better, I wouldn’t be a teenager again though.

Yeah, 20s at uni was fun too but that excitement and everything being so life or death when you are young really make you feel alive!

23 - 28. Can't believe how unmotivated and bitter I've become since then .

I’d love to be 15 again.
6 carefree years ahead of me. They were wonderful years.
I enjoyed every one of them.

Not 15 no way. 8 or 9 yeah. Or 21. But I was very stressed and unhappy at 15. Mid teens was a shit time for me.

I hated being a teenager, the most miserable years of my life. Definitely have some fun memories but overall I was absolutely depressed and hated myself.

Def between 18-22, however once all this is over I will be trying to live my life to the fullest

You clearly had a better time being 15 than I did OP - bullying at school, and a less than lovely home life, with very little way out.

I'd go back to when I was at uni - I finally fitted in, and made friends I'm still in touch with today.

I wouldn't want to be 15. GCSE years. Too much school work I couldn't cope with (and didn't know how to ask for help). I chose all the wrong subjects so I didn't really know what I was doing. Had a Saturday job that I sort of liked but it stopped me from doing more hobbies which I now think would have given me better opportunities in life more than the 12 quid I earned.
I would rather be 11 and starting out at secondary school again and going in with more of a different view of what I enjoyed and was interested in.

I had an abusive childhood and fell into a marriage that wasn't good for me. 34-39, post marriage I had a great time. Then a period of serious illness. Now I'm hoping that my mid 50's will be another happy time.

17 for me. Best year of my life by far. I’d do it all again tomorrow. So you’re not alone :)

January 2020 would be OK for me.

Bad childhood and sad teen years here. Love love love being an adult! If I don’t like how things are going, I can change things - it’s truly wonderful. I had so many responsibilities as a kid, but little power to make changes.

Seems odd to hear about people who genuinely enjoyed their teen years.

My teen years were the best. I have been having a bit of a nostalgia fest this last year too.
Hated school due to bullying but somehow found my feet towards the last year. Started nightclubbing at 16, got a full time job and literally had a ball. Plus the music was outstanding. 😀

HELL NO!

My life has just kept getting better and better.

I didn’t even know how to properly enjoy sex til I was in my 30s

Pre covid I had partied harder and better in my thirties than my teens or twenties

Sure you accumulate sore bits and responsibilities but go back? No fucking chance!

At the age of 14 my parents split-up and I came back to the UK to live with my grandparents on their Dorset Farm. We used to wear our bikinis under our school uniform so when we finished school, we would catch the bus and go straight down onto the beach. By the end of summer, we all had an amazing tan, and the sun would bleach my hair and bring all my freckles out. I'd also help on the farm, drove the tractor and lost my cherry in the old barn on my 16 the birthday. He was 17, fit and tanned. No regrets. At the age 18 I went to University to study Midwifery and Adult nursing but I would always come home and run just into the surf. My grandad would give me a big hug and dinner would be waiting. I never really knew love until I went to live there. And just what hard work farming is too. But the sand and the sea and the summer sun and my friends. Makes me cry when I remember my gran and grandad. I miss them so much.

Oh I feel exactly the same.

I listened to an hour of The Libertines last night. It was what we were in to at 15/16. I remembered all the fun, the friends, the nights out going to gigs in Camden and all the silliness. The boys. Snogging and drinking vodka neat.
Wearing denim levi skirts and black tights.
I had the best few years. I miss the friendships I had at that point so much I never knew at the time how special it all was. I'm not really in contact with them anymore.

@pyewhacket this is so beautiful

We all have different paths in life.

15 was bad for me. My father was dying, my mother was having a nervous breakdown my older sister had fucked off and emigrated to Australia with her new husband. It was a horrible time.
Dinner was instant potato and luncheon meat- or anything I could scramble together.
Dishes would be piled high in the sink, my mother woud be in her jammies crying.

Life is far better now.

Love life now. But miss 15-25. Wide spectrum but loads of holidays, clubbing, eating out, etc.

I’ve found in lockdown I’m getting back into the things I liked when I was 13-16 like anime and MCR and emo culture in general, which has been pretty fun! I also miss when I was 18- but that’s probably because that was 2019 when we still had freedom

I miss getting home from work and getting ready to go out out. Hair , make up minimal clothing.
Drinking. dancing and just doing what every other teenager I knew was doing.
Such a release after all the bullying at school.